So recently I (18F) had the most embarrassing but kinda bold experience and now I can’t stop thinking about it and not in a good way.
I went to this small concert with one of my best friends. We bought the tickets months ago and the singer has been one of my favorite artists for years, so I was really excited. I expected a long line and chaos, but when we showed up there were literally only three people waiting for the concert. Since we had time to kill, we went to the merch table to get sweatshirts.
Here’s where the awkwardness started. I only brought cash (100 bucks), and of course, they didn’t take it. My friend had to transfer money and use her card, which led to a whole mess. You know, card declining, trying to swap sizes, lots of “sorry!” and “actually, can I get a small instead?” The guy working the stand was super nice about it though. Chill, patient, maybe a little flirty? I’m bad at reading signals but either way — he was hot. Like, stupid hot. Tall, muscular, face card never declined. You get it.
Anyway, we went into the show (only like 100 people, really intimate vibe), and the artist was so good. One of his main messages was about how it’s better to shoot your shot and take an L than to live with a “what if.” You can probably see where this is going.
Towards the end of the concert, hot merch guy walks on stage. Turns out, he’s the singer’s brother. And 22. And lives in LA. I’m 18 and from Colorado, heading to college on the east coast in two months. So, not exactly a realistic start.
Still, my friend hyped me up, and call it a post concert high, or maybe I was just high on life, but I figured I might as well go for it. After the show, we were chatting with the artist and I asked nervously if his brother would be weirded out if I asked for his number. He kind of just repeated the advice from earlier, but added “he gets that a lot.” Not sure if that was encouragement or a soft letdown?
Anyway, I saw hot brother back at the merch table talking to two older girls. Before I could chicken out, I literally interrupted them and said:
“Hey, sorry to bug you, but does your number come with the sweatshirts?”
WHO SAYS THAT. It just came out of my mouth. He looked kind of confused and I had to remind him that I was the problematic sweatshirt girl from earlier. Then I clarified I was asking for his number and, to my surprise, he said sure and typed a number into my phone.
I walked away thinking “omg I just did that.” And one of the girls who was talking to him laughed and gave me a low high five. I couldn’t tell if she was being supportive or making fun, but I didn’t really think about it too hard. Once I walked over to my friend, I texted him something simple:
“Hey! This is (my name), the girl in the pink dress from the concert.”
…And he hasn’t responded.
Now I’m spiraling. Was I super awkward? Did he give me a fake number? Did I weird him out? I’m not usually this bold and the more I think about it, the more mortified I feel. At least I tried, right?
TL;DR: Went to a concert, flirted with the super hot merch guy who turned out to be the singer’s brother. Tried to be bold and asked for his number by saying “does your number come with the sweatshirts?” He gave it to me… but never texted back. Now I’m spiraling.
Comments
Awww…its cute that guys can give wrong numbers to women as well, just to avoid em
Aw I think his brother was into you
You have no reason to be embarrassed, as the singer said, you did well to act instead of perhaps having regrets about not having done so. Then, if he wants to answer you, fine, otherwise patience, but you will have no regrets.
Don’t freak out, even if it doesn’t tgo anywhere, it’s good you tried
Seems like you didn’t take the singer’s advice… now you’re living with the L AND the ‘what if’…. No need to spiral… this is just one interaction out of many many many you’ll have in life, and if he doesn’t get back to you it doesn’t definitively mean you made a bad impression; it’s moreso an indication that he’s got something going on in his life that he isn’t ready or willing to place you into
congrats on putting yourself out there; don’t let one bad experience stop you in the future
This was adorable! I wouldn’t get too hung up on it, if he texts back great! If not, his loss. Props for putting yourself out there! Also him not responding is not a statement of you as a person at all. People are weird and do weird things.
There could be a litany of reasons why he wouldn’t/couldn’t respond, and honestly I wouldn’t even concern your self with them.
Hold the nights memories in warm regard and use the experience to build on your confidence; you had the courage to use a pick up line and got someone’s number! My advice would be to revel in that and let his response be a bonus rather than something contingent on your own behavior.
He clearly thinks you have ulterior motives, shoulda asked before he went up on stage
I really get it, OP, been there, done that. Gotta say though, you’re braver than me, I’d probably just hide under my blanket after something like that
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Rule number 1 of the music scene: don’t date touring dudes
Keep shooting your shot in the future! It’s probably a little weird for him just because of the age difference
👏🏼 I applaud your forwardness.
more women should do that.
Think of it like you’re the love police. You need to shoot hundreds of shots before one hits the target.
Whether this works out or not, keep being forward with men like that. Ask them out when you like them, don’t wait on them. It’s fine if it’s a no. But a lot of times it’ll be a yes you would have never got waiting on them to get up the nerve.
You did awesome.
You only lose out on chances you did not take. You are brave and bold for doing this, nothing else!
Whether he texts you back or not bet you made his night and he will remember you for a long time. You always miss the shots you don’t take sis!
I guarantee you made his day. Guys remember stuff like this for a long time and its great for the self esteem.
Dont be embarrassed!
Nah, you did good, sis. I’m proud of you. There’s a million reasons why he hasn’t responded with very few of them that have anything to do with you. What’s important is that you went out of your comfort zone in a non-creepy manner, and survived the process to talk about it later – which is exactly what you should be doing to keep growing as a person.
Shooters shoot
Good for you! – Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 👍
Obvious AI slop, next
Well he obviously ended up giving you his number if he hasn’t replied. What’s the chances you’re ever going to see him again? Probably slim to none if he doesn’t reply. So who cares! You deserve some props for putting yourself out there. Too many people walk around scared of the world, scared of what other people think of them, and never have the chance to live their own life on their terms. This ain’t even an L, this is a W. If he never gets back to you it’s his loss because it sounds like you’re living your life, not cowering under the weight of what you believe others think of you. Fuck it! Move on and take another swing of the bat.
You’re young. It shows.
People do in fact approach each other in public for dates. It doesn’t always go well, but there’s no reason not to. For all you know, he could have wanted to go out with you after the show. . It’s simply true that unless you take a risk, you’ll never experience the reward.
No fuck up detected!
Let me break this down….
.
Best wishes and I know you’ll make someone super happy one day…. Getting the prince you deserve.
No FU at all OP! You will lose nothing for having asked, could only have upside.
And as others her have said , if you never hear back, who cares, you took control of your life and took a shot at something you wanted and were interested in.
You didn’t F up. You’re shot your shot with respect, he’s not interested. No biggie. Guys deal with this constantly.
Don’t worry about it. You didn’t do anything wrong
Hey sorry I’m a bit lost, how can i get out of here…
with you
https://i.redd.it/qnx69f6x3c5f1.gif
this is why as a girl i never shoot my shot, i always let the guys come to me & ask me, i noticed it really doesn’t work in our favor when we approach guys first
Dude likely is in a relationship already and his brother hires him as a salesmen because he attracts girls to the booth to spend money.
Don’t feel embarrassed, you just got played by capitalism is all. Happens to all of us.
You are AWESOME! No joke. In my younger days I would have been riding so high if a gal did this. (Now I’d just be perplexed.) AND the number/sweatshirt line was funny, imo. Good job!
BOT post, r/tifu is peppered with them
Absolutely 0 FU’s here.
You did everything perfect enough from what I see. Sometimes the guy can’t entertain you for various reasons. Keep trying! Guys LOVE attention I promise.
As an 18yr old (and as a woman, whose societal expectation is typically not pursuing men), I get why you’re freaking out, but as a person, this was in no way post worthy lol. You asked a guy out at a concert and maybe they weren’t all that interested. Is what it is, run it back with another guy now that you have experience that so few have (putting themselves out there romantically/sexually).
Congrats on a gem of an awkward line! I wish you luck, I’m no good at reading signals either.
You’re just over thinking it. Your emotions are controlling this. Even if nothing comes from it at least you did it! No regrets! Good for you!
Chill. You did great. That is was pretty balls. No reason to be upset that he hasn’t responded yet. You’re gonna do great even if he doesn’t.
Some guys prefer a girl who isn’t afraid to step outside the box.
If nothing ever comes of it, you’re in the same place as if you never asked for his number.
Stop obsessing, and stop feeling awkward. What will happen will happen. (If he does respond, just act cool – but not cold.)
To be honest, your experience is so real and vivid, like a wonderful clip of a real-life youth movie with highlights and “social death” moments intertwined. You said you were “spiraling”, but in fact what you did was very brave and worthy of pride.
You already won. Weather he text you or not isnt that important. You overcame something in yourself and now you know you are capable of it.
Good Lord. Why do women freak out about one rejection. Men experience this hundreds of times trying to find a woman. Welcome to our world.
This story is kind of an outlier though. Any decent looking woman will be successful 9 out of 10 times approaching a man if the guy is single.
you did it!!! dont be mortified if anything you shot your shot!! now if there is an update we will be waiting 😌
I think something to consider here was whether or not it was appropriate to ask someone for their number while they were working at their job. I think different people would have different views of this, and maybe it’s more appropriate at a concert where the person is only captive there for one evening.
If it makes you feel any better – I was trying to slide with the merch girl for my guitar teacher’s band, since I followed her on twitter and she seemed cool. I made her a bracelet. Then forgot it at home. Then when buying a hoodie told her I forgot the bracelet but all I had on hand was a fast fashion ring and a half used hand lotion if she wanted either. Then I just stood there and wondered why I offered her my used hand lotion. We have a mutual online friend, who lost her mind laughing at me over this.
On the upside she followed me back on Twitter after I saw the band again and brought her the bracelet and while she doesn’t usually reply to my comments on her posts sometimes she does or replies to messages i send in the band discord so idk what we are LOL
As a dude… Don’t ever feel stupid giving your number out to a guy. Maybe he doesn’t text you back, there are a hundred reasons other than “he doesn’t like me” that he wouldn’t text you back. Maybe he has a gf, maybe he is gay, maybe he has anxiety and is struggling, etc… The point is that he respected your effort enough not to want to reject you in person. He gave you a W. Hold onto that, instead of fixating on the lack of a happily ever after story.
Most guys never ever get this interaction he just got from you in their entire lives. Most guys go their entire lives thinking they aren’t that good looking, and that whole self doubt thing you just went thru? They have to work thru that every time they want to talk to a girl they don’t know. It’s exhausting. Especially when most of the time, they don’t get a positive result. Most guys who aren’t afraid to approach women and do often… Yeah that’s a guy who doesn’t have these self doubt issues, those guys are like 5% of men who do it all the time, and he’s probably kind of a douchebag. So that 5% of dudes is representing the other 95% who probably don’t behave that way. There’s a big disconnect there.
I’m a decent looking guy who has never been good at “hitting on girls”, partially because I respect a person’s space and ability to be out in the world without being approached by a stranger, and full awareness that annoying dudes do it often and I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to affect someone’s experience negatively. One time a girl actually approached me, much like you did in this story, and I’ve never forgotten it. In fact, it’s something I think about when I’m not feeling good about myself and need a boost. This girl who I thought was way out of my league walked over and gave me her phone number unprompted, and I was completely shocked, and I’ve never gotten over that high.
I don’t know what I’m trying to tell you, other than to say… Don’t feel bad. There will be plenty of hot guys you will meet in your life. Not all of them are on tour with a band, getting approached every night by attractive women. Maybe one guy might be in the grocery store next to you, pretending to be interested in which brand of sliced bread he should be buying, but in reality he is wishing he knew how to start a conversation with you without bothering you while you’re buying food. Maybe that guy wants your number.