I don’t know how many of you know this, but artichokes can apparently cause flatulence.
Last night, I made a couple of garlic butter white wine steamed artichokes using my instapot. They were delicious and the kids had zero interest so my husband and I each ate one. This morning, we both had a bit of gas and I thought that was the worst of it….. boy, was I wrong.
Just after having coffee and sending the kids off to school, it came. The reminder text from school. …
Awards Ceremony in the MPR this morning.
My husband and I have never had gas this bad. It’s comical. Loud, long, stinky farts. Often. So we scramble and do our best to get it together. We gas ourselves out the whole car ride to the school. Then we made our way into the MPR and the wait began. We decided standing in the back was the way to go. We stood, we clapped, we used every single muscle available to hold the pressure in.
Suddenly, my husband made a face, and the creaking sound of a muffled fart… I couldn’t hold my giggles and that was a HUGE MISTAKE. The next thing I know, I am laugh-farting! We both start laughing so hard we had to step out the side door and when we walked out dying of laughter, there was a whole group of parents waiting for the next grade’s awards. So now at least 15 people are looking at us like we have 3 eyes and we are just fighting for our lives. We walked around back to the front door, snuck back in and stood 10 feet apart on the side wall, for safety. It was a hilarious drive home.
Lesson learned. Apparently artichokes cause us gas.
TL,DR: I gave my husband and and myself a horrible case of gas before a school award ceremony.
Comments
They’re not called “fartychokes” for nothing
Well now you know
this was great, I love that you two were able to laugh it off and walk out. I’d have been mortified!
This is the post I needed to see today! 😀
Try Jerusalem artichokes (only related in name), they contain a carb called inulin. Well I had some for lunch and within an hour my insides felt like a chemistry experiment gone awry. The inulin created a bacteria feeding frenzy.
You’ll want to avoid Brussel sprouts, too …
I love this story. Too relatable. You and your husband are a great pair.
Laughing so hard I’m crying! Thanks
Great story!
Garlic also makes gas. Future reference? Gas X and Beano exist
This is the kind of relationship I aspire to have lol.
Artichokes for dinner!
Oh no, the artichoke betrayal! Maybe stick to pizza next time!
Omg LOL this made me fart in the tub (don’t worry it was just bubbles)
You ever tried turnips?
I loooove artichokes, but have never experienced the farting frenzy you described.
Could it be that you ended up eating a lot more fibre in a shorter amount of time than is normal for you and ended up giving your intestinal system a full-night all-out party?
(I revamped my diet a few years back and while changing it up I was extremely gassy for some weeks, when it stabilised I hardly ever fart unless I deviate from my diet. My intestinal system then complains by making me a bit bloated and very farty)
But regardless of diets. Thank you sooo much for the morning coffee laugh. A perfect way to start my day! 💨
This is EPIC! 😂
My mum went on that cabbage soup diet, also added a ton of onions because it was bland AF. Holy hell did she fart. And they were -rank- . The rest of the family secretly dreaded each of these forays into weight loss and referred to the concoction as ‘fart soup’.
One such was right before a conference with a least-favourite teacher, irked that I persisted in reading psychological horror and fantasy novels instead of ‘little gold reader’s, and persisted in /not/ being converted to her religion, among other things.
They sat down. Mum let out an earth shattering fart. The smell was stomach churning in the small interview room. Mum said nothing, and carried on as if it had not occured. I politely excused myself to go read my fantasy tome in the stairwell. The teacher pulled interesting faces.
Now I’m craving cabbage and onion soup, for fond memories’ sake 😀