Step one, find a doctor that is a woman. I’ve never had an issue getting my doctor to take me seriously. Why? Because she can relate to what I’m going through. When I tell her I’m having issues she listens to me and asks me questions on what I think it could be and we agree mutually on best next steps. There have been times she just looked at me and said it’s in my head, ran the tests to prove it, and you know, she was right. But at the end of the day she has most likely been where I’m sitting & been through similar things.
I brought my husband with me to advocate and it was then, when he demanded labwork that was able to lead to my Systemic Lupus diagnosis. He now goes to ALL my appointments
be older. I have a serious and somewhat rare illness and as a kid my doctors never listened to me. now I’m 34 so when I need to meet somebody new I essentially come at them like Ron Swanson in Lowes saying “I know more than you.” I quickly document what I have, why I have it, what works, what historically has not worked. then I ask them if they have any questions or concerns. I ask if there’s anything I missed or that is new that they want to consider exploring, and tell them I’m open to discussion. I act like the boss. this is what we’re going to do, can you do it? my success rate has been much better since I turned 25. if they pushed back I would request to be reassigned, but that hasn’t happened yet. I think it helps that my condition is a bit rare, I’ve done a lot of the research and had the lived experience already so they just take my word for it which is amazing lol.
doctors other than gastroenterologist are a toss up though. I can’t make them take me seriously if they don’t want to. request reassessment by new physicians liberally, that’s all that’s worked for me.
I do extensive research before the appointment so I know what I’m talking about and can have a more educated conversation about whatever it is. Then i print out medical journal studies, then go through and highlight the relevant information to the point I’m trying to make, then bring those to the appointment and say “I have provided the relevant study for your convenience, if you would like to read it yourself”. Then they look at the thick stack of papers in apprehension and say “no thanks I’m good” and will normally order the relevant testing or whatever
I document document document – note time and date of symptoms and write a brief description, note if you did anything that might be related to the symptom. I write down what other doctors have said (doctors love to prove other doctors wrong, a lot of the time, it’s pretty motivating lol), and I write down what I’ve done from their suggestions and if it helped or not. I sometimes will even write relevant lab results down because it’s 50/50 if a doc has even looked at my chart before they get into my room.
Bringing along a second person, especially if they are a man, helps, too. Also, making them note their refusal of a test in my record, so then when I switch doctors, they can prove the other one wrong and order the test. 😂 Sometimes you gotta play some mind games to motivate someone who is burned out or dismissive. Love the American Healthcare system 🤌🏻
I will say I was previously treated for said thing if I’m pretty sure of the problem. If I’m not sure, I’ll say that in the past a previous doctor suspected I might’ve had whatever it is I wanna be checked for. It usually works for me lol
I bring my boyfriend. He doesn’t even have to say anything, it’s honestly upsetting how much less I need to work to get my symptoms taken seriously when it’s clear I’ve got the tacit endorsement of a man.
I always bring a handheld voice recorder with me. I have a chronic neurological disease and it’s taken me years and years to be treated well and I sometimes still get treated like garbage from new doctors who are uneducated or have been practicing for years and think they know it all. A lot of times if they realize they’re being recorded they act totally different. There are times though that I haven’t said a word and I’ve reported them because I know if they’re treating me like that then that means I’m not the only one. Then it makes me sad because I’ve been going through this for years and I’ve got tough skin at this point and know how to deal with it. What about those newly diagnosed patients who are sitting there terrified and the doctor comes in and is a total jerk to them….yeah, that’s totally unacceptable.
In 2019, I was having intermittent extreme pelvic pain. I had to say this to my female gynecologist: “Will you please write in my chart that you are choosing not to pursue this issue? And then please make me a copy to take home with me today.” She was furious, but kept her cool and scheduled me an ultrasound. I was shaking like a leaf when I walked out of there.
Switch to a doctor that takes your symptoms seriously. I went through 3 different providers (not including the ER and urgent care appointments) before I finally got my endometriosis diagnoses. I work in healthcare so I know what terminology to use. But I also brought my husband to a few appointments to attest to the pain I was in.
keeping a symptom log that i write down my daily symptoms in. i also have a very amazing doctor. she is young and is a total activist and she is great and soooo helpful. she actually listens
I act as if whatever blow-off bullshit thing they are suggesting I do to get off their case is actually serious medical advice.
“So I’m hearing you say that my headaches are probably stress, and that I should try breathing exercises and meditation. What specific breathing exercises? How long should I meditate? Ok, so I’ll do 10 minutes of breathing exercises and 20 minutes of meditation every evening. How long would you expect it to take before that intervention results in a change in my headaches? When should I schedule a follow-up if it’s not working?”
Half of the time it makes them realize that they didn’t actually expect that to do anything, they just didn’t really believe my problem was that serious. So now that we mention it we might as well also send you for a sleep study or whatever. The other half of the time, my doing the thing and documenting it and the result it has at least proves to my doctor that I am a compliant patient who is actively pursuing conservative treatment to a problem I actually care about, and not just looking for a magic pill to fix every inconvenience.
Be specific, firm, and accurate. Do your research, do not go in unsure of your symptoms/feelings. You feel that somewhere is off, it is their job to figure it out, it is not your job to convince them (although we have to so very often…). Paint a timeline with dates and measurable changes (weight drops/gains, symptom changes, appearance changes). Bring a PATIENT ADVOCATE, I am hardly ever in a doctors office alone, save for physicals or maybe stuff like the flu.
I spent 7 years trying to get doctors to listen to me about my concern. I was born very premature and had to have abdominal reconstructive surgery to hold down food and water so I could gain weight. At 20, I started feeling some internal tugging at an entry site where my feeding tube used to be. I went to so many doctors, and after 2 years, I demanded a scan with contract fluid that confirmed what I had been feeling.
Immediately, I was getting shut down and given the run around. I brought everything with me every time, all 28 times. Documentation, other doctors notes confirming my issue, even a research article I found on the surgery that outlined the probability of my issue. Nothing. No one would listen to me. No one would work around that much scar tissue.
One doctor suggested that I (a petite woman at 102 pounds) should lose weight to fix the problem. My mom made me leave the room and she never did tell me what she said to that woman.
I gave up around 26 and just dealt with it. My boyfriend started getting me into stretching and the going theory is that I loosen the muscle walls around the site itself and that caused some kind of weird tightness on the tendon that was connected from the insertion site to the muscle wall. That tendon was the problem.
In Dec 2024, I got up from my office chair one day and just felt a snap. It didn’t snap, it pulled and then retracted sharply, pulling my muscle wall with it. I was in the floor, unable to move, couldn’t take a deep breathe. My boyfriend had to carry/drag me to the car.
A few days later, I’m seeing in a doctor’s office again. Ready to defend myself and my issue and prepared to get shot down and dismissed. But that didn’t happen. He sat there, listened, asked questions for confirmation and clarity, but not to challenge me. After I finished explaining everything in detail and I told him that I would get him the previous scans. He said nope, we don’t need that. I’m just gonna go in and see what’s going on because you clearly know what you’re talking about, so I trust you. My boyfriend was there and confirmed what I said, but the doctor didn’t really talk to him, he only talked to me. Which was weirdly affirmative for me as sometimes with doctors, they can talk almost to me through a proxy and dismiss us both if I bring a patient advocate.
Two weeks later, I was down to 92 pounds because I was in failure to thrive, but sure enough, the tendon was the problem. He fixed it, cleaned up some additional scar tissue to keep it from happening somewhere else and just to “tidy you up a bit”. And that was that.
I say all this to say, it really does take the right doctor sometimes. But if you have issues, write everything down or record and if they dismiss you, report them. The problem will only persist with those kinds of doctors if people stay quiet about their interactions. Be firm, direct, and know some medical jargon about your issue and bring a patient advocate.
Comments
I have a female doctor who is in her 30s and a feminist. She believes me and advocates for me.
Look up the symptoms before hand so I know what verbiage to use
Get a new doctor.
Find a different medical professional if I feel like they aren’t.
Step one, find a doctor that is a woman. I’ve never had an issue getting my doctor to take me seriously. Why? Because she can relate to what I’m going through. When I tell her I’m having issues she listens to me and asks me questions on what I think it could be and we agree mutually on best next steps. There have been times she just looked at me and said it’s in my head, ran the tests to prove it, and you know, she was right. But at the end of the day she has most likely been where I’m sitting & been through similar things.
No Dr should gaslight you. But many do. Find a new Dr. that behavior is bullshit.
I brought my husband with me to advocate and it was then, when he demanded labwork that was able to lead to my Systemic Lupus diagnosis. He now goes to ALL my appointments
be older. I have a serious and somewhat rare illness and as a kid my doctors never listened to me. now I’m 34 so when I need to meet somebody new I essentially come at them like Ron Swanson in Lowes saying “I know more than you.” I quickly document what I have, why I have it, what works, what historically has not worked. then I ask them if they have any questions or concerns. I ask if there’s anything I missed or that is new that they want to consider exploring, and tell them I’m open to discussion. I act like the boss. this is what we’re going to do, can you do it? my success rate has been much better since I turned 25. if they pushed back I would request to be reassigned, but that hasn’t happened yet. I think it helps that my condition is a bit rare, I’ve done a lot of the research and had the lived experience already so they just take my word for it which is amazing lol.
doctors other than gastroenterologist are a toss up though. I can’t make them take me seriously if they don’t want to. request reassessment by new physicians liberally, that’s all that’s worked for me.
I do extensive research before the appointment so I know what I’m talking about and can have a more educated conversation about whatever it is. Then i print out medical journal studies, then go through and highlight the relevant information to the point I’m trying to make, then bring those to the appointment and say “I have provided the relevant study for your convenience, if you would like to read it yourself”. Then they look at the thick stack of papers in apprehension and say “no thanks I’m good” and will normally order the relevant testing or whatever
So I cite my sources lol
I document document document – note time and date of symptoms and write a brief description, note if you did anything that might be related to the symptom. I write down what other doctors have said (doctors love to prove other doctors wrong, a lot of the time, it’s pretty motivating lol), and I write down what I’ve done from their suggestions and if it helped or not. I sometimes will even write relevant lab results down because it’s 50/50 if a doc has even looked at my chart before they get into my room.
Bringing along a second person, especially if they are a man, helps, too. Also, making them note their refusal of a test in my record, so then when I switch doctors, they can prove the other one wrong and order the test. 😂 Sometimes you gotta play some mind games to motivate someone who is burned out or dismissive. Love the American Healthcare system 🤌🏻
I will say I was previously treated for said thing if I’m pretty sure of the problem. If I’m not sure, I’ll say that in the past a previous doctor suspected I might’ve had whatever it is I wanna be checked for. It usually works for me lol
I bring my boyfriend. He doesn’t even have to say anything, it’s honestly upsetting how much less I need to work to get my symptoms taken seriously when it’s clear I’ve got the tacit endorsement of a man.
I work in the medical field, so I start dropping terms that only someone would know who works in the field
I always bring a handheld voice recorder with me. I have a chronic neurological disease and it’s taken me years and years to be treated well and I sometimes still get treated like garbage from new doctors who are uneducated or have been practicing for years and think they know it all. A lot of times if they realize they’re being recorded they act totally different. There are times though that I haven’t said a word and I’ve reported them because I know if they’re treating me like that then that means I’m not the only one. Then it makes me sad because I’ve been going through this for years and I’ve got tough skin at this point and know how to deal with it. What about those newly diagnosed patients who are sitting there terrified and the doctor comes in and is a total jerk to them….yeah, that’s totally unacceptable.
In 2019, I was having intermittent extreme pelvic pain. I had to say this to my female gynecologist: “Will you please write in my chart that you are choosing not to pursue this issue? And then please make me a copy to take home with me today.” She was furious, but kept her cool and scheduled me an ultrasound. I was shaking like a leaf when I walked out of there.
Switch to a doctor that takes your symptoms seriously. I went through 3 different providers (not including the ER and urgent care appointments) before I finally got my endometriosis diagnoses. I work in healthcare so I know what terminology to use. But I also brought my husband to a few appointments to attest to the pain I was in.
I know everyone is saying to find a female doctor but I’ve had more of a problem dealing with this from women doctors than men doctors.
Bring a male (partner, trusted relative, etc) with you
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keeping a symptom log that i write down my daily symptoms in. i also have a very amazing doctor. she is young and is a total activist and she is great and soooo helpful. she actually listens
I act as if whatever blow-off bullshit thing they are suggesting I do to get off their case is actually serious medical advice.
“So I’m hearing you say that my headaches are probably stress, and that I should try breathing exercises and meditation. What specific breathing exercises? How long should I meditate? Ok, so I’ll do 10 minutes of breathing exercises and 20 minutes of meditation every evening. How long would you expect it to take before that intervention results in a change in my headaches? When should I schedule a follow-up if it’s not working?”
Half of the time it makes them realize that they didn’t actually expect that to do anything, they just didn’t really believe my problem was that serious. So now that we mention it we might as well also send you for a sleep study or whatever. The other half of the time, my doing the thing and documenting it and the result it has at least proves to my doctor that I am a compliant patient who is actively pursuing conservative treatment to a problem I actually care about, and not just looking for a magic pill to fix every inconvenience.
Be specific, firm, and accurate. Do your research, do not go in unsure of your symptoms/feelings. You feel that somewhere is off, it is their job to figure it out, it is not your job to convince them (although we have to so very often…). Paint a timeline with dates and measurable changes (weight drops/gains, symptom changes, appearance changes). Bring a PATIENT ADVOCATE, I am hardly ever in a doctors office alone, save for physicals or maybe stuff like the flu.
I spent 7 years trying to get doctors to listen to me about my concern. I was born very premature and had to have abdominal reconstructive surgery to hold down food and water so I could gain weight. At 20, I started feeling some internal tugging at an entry site where my feeding tube used to be. I went to so many doctors, and after 2 years, I demanded a scan with contract fluid that confirmed what I had been feeling.
Immediately, I was getting shut down and given the run around. I brought everything with me every time, all 28 times. Documentation, other doctors notes confirming my issue, even a research article I found on the surgery that outlined the probability of my issue. Nothing. No one would listen to me. No one would work around that much scar tissue.
One doctor suggested that I (a petite woman at 102 pounds) should lose weight to fix the problem. My mom made me leave the room and she never did tell me what she said to that woman.
I gave up around 26 and just dealt with it. My boyfriend started getting me into stretching and the going theory is that I loosen the muscle walls around the site itself and that caused some kind of weird tightness on the tendon that was connected from the insertion site to the muscle wall. That tendon was the problem.
In Dec 2024, I got up from my office chair one day and just felt a snap. It didn’t snap, it pulled and then retracted sharply, pulling my muscle wall with it. I was in the floor, unable to move, couldn’t take a deep breathe. My boyfriend had to carry/drag me to the car.
A few days later, I’m seeing in a doctor’s office again. Ready to defend myself and my issue and prepared to get shot down and dismissed. But that didn’t happen. He sat there, listened, asked questions for confirmation and clarity, but not to challenge me. After I finished explaining everything in detail and I told him that I would get him the previous scans. He said nope, we don’t need that. I’m just gonna go in and see what’s going on because you clearly know what you’re talking about, so I trust you. My boyfriend was there and confirmed what I said, but the doctor didn’t really talk to him, he only talked to me. Which was weirdly affirmative for me as sometimes with doctors, they can talk almost to me through a proxy and dismiss us both if I bring a patient advocate.
Two weeks later, I was down to 92 pounds because I was in failure to thrive, but sure enough, the tendon was the problem. He fixed it, cleaned up some additional scar tissue to keep it from happening somewhere else and just to “tidy you up a bit”. And that was that.
I say all this to say, it really does take the right doctor sometimes. But if you have issues, write everything down or record and if they dismiss you, report them. The problem will only persist with those kinds of doctors if people stay quiet about their interactions. Be firm, direct, and know some medical jargon about your issue and bring a patient advocate.
I recently moved to texas so i’ve given up