This has been such an odd and enlightening experience for me… So, I’ve always worked in tech, but previously in much more “feminine” roles – think marketing, events etc. I’ve worked in ai/fintech/web3 so its not like I’m not well versed with crypto bros and insecure mascy men but good god, if this hasn’t been a whole new kettle of fish!
Since Jan, I’ve been seriously throwing myself into ai in practical ways, this has been the steepest learning curve I’ve ever been on, but also the most rewarding. After much work and many weeks, I had successfully done a full rebuild of my friends stock analysis platform, much to his and the users amazement.
I am super proud of what I’ve built so I shared it in a few subreddits around stocks/ai building and colour me surprised when the actual investors who would be our actual target market in the stock subreddits are loving it and yet over in the ai subs, I’m getting lambasted by devs, not because what I’ve built isn’t impressive, but simply because I’VE built it!
I realised in the stock subreddits, i didn’t mention my age or gender, but in the ai posts, i did, the difference in how its been received is insane and whilst you could say “maybe its not sexism, maybe its just devs being arrogant” I would say that is a part of it, but it certainly feels like more than that.
Honestly, it feels a lot like how dare I, a woman who doesn’t code, build a saas app at this level, and how very dare I be faster, cheaper and more flexible than them… Someone literally laughed at me and said that its “nice I’ve found a hobby” and when I asked him to show me what he’s building, he stfu… Like goddamn why cant i just be judged for my work? I’m already having to work 10 times harder to build via no code solutions, give me a break…
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Sentinel Flash – For the sake of transparency and not doing the reddit equivalent of checking into the hospital and then posting “dm me hun” when people ask whats wrong; this is the app if anyone is interested but I’ll be honest, if you’re not into stocks you’re not gonna get much from it hahaha
If it’s possible to have a gender ambiguous email at work (first initial last name) or go by a gender ambiguous nickname on your email signature, you’ll find men are suddenly much more cooperative in the workplace…
There’s absolutely a difference in the way people doubt and question opinions when they know it’s from a woman.
I own my own fintech business and it’s astonishing how often in meetings men will talk to my developers as if they are the decisionmakers, even though I’m sitting right there in the room.
It drives me crazy sometimes.
It is 100% a thing. Pretty sure there are actual studies about it. Anecdotally, it happened to me a lot in the legal field. I have a unisex name, and didn’t have my pronouns anywhere, or a photo on my LinkedIn. I’d get hit with Mr. all the time. I never corrected people because I realized I got more respect if they thought I was a man. They’d be surprised when we would have a phone call and I was a woman. I could feel a shift in tone after that, even in correspondence (not from other women though, just the men). I went on to work for a male lawyer with a name that in this country is more feminine, and I’d frequently get mistaken for the lawyer on the file because my name was more masculine. Letters would be addressed to me specifically, I’d get invites meant for him, etc. Law is unfortunately still full of old school lawyers who treat it like a boys club, and I think they have similar attitudes as those in STEM. It’s sad.
I found this to be true up until I hit a certain level on the career ladder. As soon as I had a “senior” role, all of a sudden I started getting respect from the junior levels. Same thing happened when earning my PhD. It’s more difficult to disrespect someone when you have to call them “Dr.”
When I was lower on the ladder, it was hell though.
My first name is common enough in northern Europe that it’s recognized as obviously female, but for some reason it throws Americans, especially untraveled ones, for a loop (I am American).
It probably helps that I have a doctorate also because people who don’t know me default to “Dear Dr Parabellum” or “Dear Sir” in emails. I let them think I’m a dude for as long as possible, it makes my life a lot easier.