This has become a real internet trope, that your 30s will be better than your 20s because by that point, you will have checked a few more accomplishment boxes in life and that now you’re successful. It’s often given as dating advice for men – if your twenties suck, don’t worry because your thirties will be your prime!
But all of this is based off this assumption that future you will just get to the promised land, and it doesn’t just happen. I’ve seen plenty of my friends have this trajectory, maybe they’ve got into fitness and skincare in adulthood and have had a glow up, or they went back to school / worked up the ladder and now have jobs that give them a better quality of life and social class, or they’ve discovered a passion that has given them a joy for life they didn’t used to have.
I also know plenty of people who are stuck in the same job they hated 5 years ago, or that have much less of a social life than they used to, or that have fallen away from their best habits and have “glowed down”.
I’m not saying it’s impossible for your thirties to be when everything comes together well and your life becomes great, but it doesn’t just magically happen – it’s the result of work and effort!
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Tell that to my ex wife
I am absolutely loving my thirties, but I wouldn’t say I’m established and successful.
I am however a lot more confident and comfortable!
It definitely happens to everyone at different times, enjoy the ride 🙂
I think that trope is just because people start figuring out how to be an adult in their 20s but it often doesn’t pay off until your 30s. So from an outsider perspective, it looks like you just suddenly became successful.
If you’re just lazy and make bad decisions in your 20s, you won’t magically change in your 30s without a major turn around
Common sense ass post
This may shock you, but there are guys making 6 figures, living in a McMansion and have a skinny wife + kid(s) and they’re still unhappy.
The American dream is more than a lie- it never existed. It’s just vague aspirations that dudes are supposed to want so they work and give society $, never realizing they don’t know what they really want and finally “succeeding” is hollow and meaningless.
They learn too late they’re supposed to be more than a wallet
I mean it can be if you make it better. You have to an active participant in your life
Do you know what a generalization is? The average person in their 30s makes and has way more money than in their 20s. You have a decade of real life experience under your belt, and it means you probably have grown a lot as a person. No of course it’s not magic and it’s not free. But a lot of people especially who ask about dating in 30s are asking because they neglected dating in favor of career etc. in 20s, so it follows that most of these people are actually established.
Another reason it’s easier as a man in your 30s is because women in and around 30s start to think much more about marriage and commitment, and the power dynamic shifts in favor of men.
You’re right that when you turn 30 it’s not like if you’re a super unattractive man you become attractive. In fact, if you don’t take care of yourself your age will show more and that aspect would work against you. But by and large, all the data I’ve seen points to it actually being easier in 30s.
Um, I became established in my 30s for sure. Just because it’s not your experience doesn’t mean it’s no one else’s. I also know plenty of 30-something fuck ups.
You might be taking things a little too literally.
No one thinks that your 30s are some magical era where regardless of what you did in your 20s, everything will be better. It’s just that for most people, the hard work and effort they put in in their 20s starts to pay off in their 30s. It takes time and for a mid-20s something toiling away, building a life, it can be daunting to not see early or immediate results from their hard work. Hence why people will say this.
If you fuck off during your 20s, no rational person will think it’ll get fixed by turning 30.
So your opinion is actually “You don’t automatically become established and successful in your 30s.” Which, I mean yeah.
It’s more so people begin to know exactly what they want starting late 20’s so during their 30’s things start falling in place. Generally speaking, of course there’s people who figure things out sooner and there’s people who figure things out later. Everyone has their own experiences and life to live. No life is going to be the same.
No you don’t magically transform into a competent and financially stable adult the day you turn 30, but you should be living a more stable existence as you get older and hopefully have learned from mistakes of youth.
You still have to work for it.
>But all of this is based off this assumption that future you will just get to the promised land
This kind of thinking, regardless of what it’s applied to is what’s incorrect. I’ve heard people think about this about relationships as well: “if I get a gf/wife, it’s the promised land and my life will be eternally happy”
In all cases it’s wrong. Life is a constant journey, the idea is to look forward and preferably upwards
I mean yea if your life doesn’t improve, your life doesn’t get better. This isn’t an unpopular opinion, its just common sense.
Nope. I wasn’t established or what I would define as “successful” until my 40s. 30s is just starting the path.
Got into skincare? What? You’re listing this small amount of things like their unattainable, or such a thing that no one wants to do, like “skincare”. You’re forgetting things like found a hobby, found a friend group, found a wife, found a great job, side hustle, had kids, decided to open a business, started playing sports, etc, etc, etc……. All of these are things that people do as adults. They find things that make them happy……and shocker…..do them.
That’s the beauty of being an adult. You can make choices that allow you to be happy and you should get fulfillment from doing so. You also have the ability to be miserable and blame everyone else. Guess what? No one really gives af about people who complain about their lives as adults.
Of course not. Just ask Colonel Sanders.
You are correct you just dont suddenly become established in your 30’s.
If you want to become established and successful in your 30’s you have to bust your tail off in your 20’s and do the work no else around you is willing to do. Miss holidays, skip out on parties, invest your money instead of spending it. It can happen, you just have to make it happen.
> I’m not saying it’s impossible for your thirties to be when everything comes together well and your life becomes great, but it doesn’t just magically happen
It did just happen for me. I was kind of a slacker my entire life. I had a job, but I wasn’t that ambitious and certainly never did well financially. At 31 I decided to learn programming myself and within a year I managed to land a role. I’m now 36 and have been a developer for almost 5 years and I, for the first time in my life, feel like I have a sense of direction and responsiblity, and my career is really on an upward arc.
This literally has NOTHING to do with what I did in my 20s or earlier, I simply just picked something up and made it happen.
I went from 60k a year to 140k from 30 to 35. That’s obviously not universal, but I think most people with college degrees that stay in the same field since graduation are more likely to reach middle-upper seniority after 10-15 years or so. I think that’s why it’s a trope.
The negatives you list are literally choices.
“I also know plenty of people who are stuck in the same job they hated 5 years ago, or that have much less of a social life than they used to, or that have fallen away from their best habits and have “glowed down”.”
They are not stuck in their jobs, they choose to stay in their jobs. I am an example of change. I changed careers while raising two toddlers and working overtime to keep my family house afloat. I went to school, and it took years of hard work, but it’s doable. As for the social life, that’s their choice. Glow down? Their choice.
Now that I’m pushing 40 I need to work harder at keeping in shape, eating healthy, and taking care of myself. I’ve “glown up” because I’ve put the work in. I have a career I love because I put the work in.
Most people who hold these opinions just don’t want to put in the hard work, then complain when they don’t reap the benefits.
Rationally speaking, you should always be in a better place in your 30’s because you’ve had more time to develop, learn, work hard, and obtain goals. If you sat around and rotted to the point you’re in a worse place, take accountability for that.
Be the lion.
So your post should have been.. ‘You might “become established and successful” in your 30’s.’
What were you hoping to prove by posting this?
People are sufficiently different that talking so broadly will never make sense.
Some people want the version of “success” that we’re taught and will get it, some won’t… Some hated the game from the start. It’s all valid.
with proper guidance and planning in your 20’s you should hopefully be somewhere in your set of goals by your 30’s
Everyone I know had more experience and success in their 30’s both in their careers and personal life – many of us are late bloomers
My 30s were much better than my 20s, but only because I worked a lot harder and smarter, and gained some focus.
Did you think all of your problems would be magically solved on your 30th birthday?
I didn’t feel it at the time, but my 30’s were probably my happiest years. Yeah, my job that was kind of stagnant (still is) wasn’t optimal, but I was 100% healthy, my wife and I bought our house when I was 32, had a daughter a year and a half later, and my parents were OK. It was idyllic, really. The simple “white picket fence” life that was all I really wanted.
Then, when I was 37. My dad died. He did everything, so my mom was left not knowing how to do pretty much anything and she was only 63 at the time. Leaving me to try and help her all the time, on top of trying to manage my own life, etc. When I was 40, my wife got cancer news at age 39. She made it a year and died at 40. Everything since has been a tooth-grinding affair of trying to hold on to everything for my daughter. Aside from later 30’s on, everything was great….looking back.
Not sure what my point is, just that the 30’s can be an incredibly pivotal decade for many people. Most people (like me) think they’re in full control in their 30’s, but life can and will slap you right in the face for the hubris.
Sigh. I just turned 54. It’s been something. Onwards and hopefully upwards. If life allows it.
It’s a lot of pressure for Americans. It sucks when it doesn’t happen. This is not true in other countries. You visit a place in Japan where every low wage job is held by Asians, who would be the one black sheep of their families if they were in the US. Not everyone can become successful in life.
Man, people on the internet love the word “trope.”
I’m particularly fond of my thirties because just when I thought I couldn’t give less of a fuck about small problems, Ive unlocked an entirely new level of nonchalant.
Wow so you’re saying your 30’s will be better than your 20’s only if you make good choices and work hard? thank you captain obvious
In your thirties you become what you will be, for better or worse.
The 20s and early-ish 30s are the time were people build their foundation. After that, while not impossible, it gets harder and harder to become established and successful. Very few people make a turnaround later in life.
20s were a slog and I was unfairly laid off my first career job out of college. Took most of my 20s working multiple jobs, moving cities just to get my foot in the door. Now I’m 35, have a great job and skills and the experience to feel secure, a solid relationship, and we just bought a house. I’m lucky that things have been so linear and that I’ve experienced enough at a young age that I now have the confidence to weather any storm.
I think it’s more that you start not letting what people think of you bother you as much. I’m 29 now and I don’t get nearly as tilted at criticism as I did when I was 21 or 22.
>But all of this is based off this assumption that future you will just get to the promised land
Your first mistake is thinking that anyone thinks this. Nothing is handed to you in life. If you want the ‘promised land’ you better be prepared to work your ass off for it. You spend your 20’s working shit jobs for people that hate you and treat you like crap so that you can build the kind of real work experience to apply for the jobs that aren’t shitty. You have to go through crap to get to the other side.
>I also know plenty of people who are stuck in the same job they hated 5 years ago, or that have much less of a social life than they used to, or that have fallen away from their best habits and have “glowed down”.
In those cases most of those people have kept themselves in that position. They stayed at a job they hate instead of looking for one they don’t. People are scared of change and will cling to the familiar even if the familiar is shit.
People not having social lives are typically the result of not putting in the effort to the social relationships. They think… should we go out… nah let’s go home and crawl into bed and binge watch something. That’s a personal choice.
The saying has nothing to do with being guaranteed that life somehow becomes easy in your 30s but it does become easier and it’s generally when people start to crawl their way out of shitty entry level positions, and shitty companies that will hire anyone into jobs that you have to earn and beat out other folks for. Folks are typically establishing relationships and marriages by then becoming two income households.
This isn’t one of those bootstraps posts lol, but nothing in life is free. If you want that kind of life you have to work for it. If you need a mental health day once a week and you fear a job that requires 40 hours, it’s going to be much much harder for you.
My thirties have been miserable. COVID. Shitty job market. Everything costs a ton. Got evicted.
You become established and successful in your 30s *if you put in the work.
Well I certainly didn’t.
I would say my mindset was definitely what changed in my 30s to make it better, not my actual life being better if that makes sense. I’m just a lot better and more clear mentally and wiser.
The reason a lot of people become more successful in their thirties is because you have typically spent your twenties figuring out you own path. No one says it is a given but that’s when it typically happens. You actually have to try.
My 30s have been so much better than my 20s.
My 20s were a total mess – I had NO idea how to be a mature, responsible adult. My 30s got much better, with a stable job and having children. Also a divorce and 2nd marriage, lol.
I’m in my mid-40s and, no jokes, my life keeps getting better. I got what I wanted out of life, so now it’s just bonus points for fun things I want to do and learn.
It’s not that you “become successful” in your 30s. It’s that the choices people made in their 20s really start to show
I’m 38 and starting in a new career field. I plan to work my way up from the bottom just putting one foot in front of the other. No tragic circumstances in my case, just kind of bounced around for many years. But honestly, I wouldn’t trade where I am in my life for anything else. I feel like my life is just getting started. And I think many people my age are stuck in a life that they’ve realized they don’t want but can’t leave. I wouldn’t want to be them.
Are you telling me magic doesn’t exist? Aww man…
I’m not sure you need to work hard to be successful is as unpopular an opinion as you think. Downvote.
That’s just factually wrong. The second you turn 30 they deposit the million dollars into your bank account, give you a great job, and all of your dreams come true.
Maybe you don’t but I did
If you’re saying there’s not a magical transformation, yeah that’s true.
People enjoy success and freedom and whatever else in their 30s because they’ve spent part of their 20s (or 30s) taking incremental steps towards it. 30s is just an anecdotally common age range for these efforts to culminate.
You can.
If you never went to the gym, you’re probably tired/in pain most of the time and don’t love the mirror.
If you didn’t take care of your skin or basic hygiene, you’re probably paying for it in your late 30s.
If you didn’t find ways to progress professionally, the wages aren’t going to cover inflation.
If you made bad financial decisions throughout your 20s, you’re probably picking up the pieces in your 30s.
If you did the things you were supposed to and things just didn’t work out, you’re at least confident in your ability to handle what life can throw at you. If you didn’t do any of the right things, it’s probably haunting your daily life more than most would admit.
Tbf, doing all of these things is hard, and you can’t stop, despite what life throws at you. But if you did that for a decade, I’m proud of you and you deserve your rewards.
I’d say every decade has been better than the last. 20’s weren’t bad, but job pressures, money pressures, small children in the houses, stress of home owning for the first time, etc. 30”s were fine, but a lot of the same pressure and now we had even more young kinds in the house. 40’s was where I started to feel like I had made it career-wise, the money pressures started to ease, the kids started hitting college-age and became less dependent, etc.
I’m in my mid-50’s. Not living in paradise. But life is pretty good. Money isn’t an issue for us. Career pressure is largely off – I’ve achieved as much as I am likely to achieve and will probably stay in same job until retirement. We’ve put five kids through college and they’re mostly off “our payroll”. All the kids seem to have turned out well. Most of them are sensible & career-driven. Several are already married to stable partners we like a lot. Wife and I are still very much in love and finally have time for our stuff. We stayed in the same area we grew up in so we see our siblings a lot, help our parents out now that they’re elderly, etc.
It’s like anything else. You have to plan ahead and work hard. If you expect good times to magically come to you or fail to plan for your next decade. It’s probsbly not going to be better.
Your 30s are where hope goes to die
Who’s saying it’s magically happening?
So far my 30s have started out as very depressing as my girlfriend and I of 6 years broke up when I discovered she was cheating and while I make decent enough money I moved to a town where I don’t love the people in it and struggled to make meaningful friendships here.
30s can be good for some people and bad for others. But that’s mostly just how life is sometimes.
So my thought is age 25 is a turning point to how successful you will likely be down the line. If you went to college you probably have a few years in a job, if you went to work straight out of high school you’re enough years in to see the overall trajectory.
People not doing well in their 30s generally had a lot of time to make financially responsible decisions. Yes I am aware there can be special circumstances but the question still remains what did you do from ages 22-30?
I am in my 20s and things seem to be coming together quite nicely. Can only hope and strive to keep it this way
breaking news: the natural consequences of decisions you made in 20s are gasp your 30s
Everyone has a different baseline for success.
Nothing is promised. But just because some people’s lives still stuck well into their 30’s doesn’t mean most people aren’t able to figure it out by then
You become established in your 30s if you aren’t a cock up in your 20s. If you waste it getting drunk and high all the time of course your 30s aren’t gonna be better
If you’re established and successful in your 20s, you’ll have a much greater chance the same holds true in your 30s and so on.
Fucking around in your 20s is a mistake. It’s the best possible time to learn fast, grow fast, work and play hard, but without losing sight of the growth.
If you aren’t established and successful in your 20s you’re going to have a hard time catching up.
Almost turning 50 and I feel just as clueless as before. I simply know of good ways to hide cluelessness. I’ve also redefined success quite a few times such that it doesn’t matter anymore.
Brutal truth nuke:
Most people who have ever done anything with their life, were already doing it in their early 20s.
As someone who is going to be 30 in a few months, I would say I’m finally enjoying the fruits of my labor from my twenties. I’m so much more established, I know myself more, and im just way more comfortable. I have a house, a family, a job that pays me very well, and a decent amount of money to travel and enjoy my life with.
But then there’s my brother who’s 28, wiped his savings and is starting from ground 0.
Its totally possible to get to the promised land in your 30’s but you have to put in the work
I’m forty and I’m a fucking mess. Doesn’t look like it’s going to get much better.
What were we talking about?
I’m not established and successful in my 30’s, but I’ve finally unlocked the ultimate power: I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of me anymore. With that, my confidence has skyrocketed, I’ve broken out of my comfort zone and tried new things, and I’m immeasurably happier than I ever was in my 20’s.
Well i was 29 in 2019…..19 an hour…2020 30 yo and got up to 26 an hour and now 40an hour, so it does feel tons better lol
I’ll be 31 this month, I spent my 20s establishing myself now life is easy.
Top 10 things nobody ever said
You only ” become established and successful” in your 30’s if you work your ass off or hit the luck jackpot in your 20’s.
“Success” is a moving target and means different things to different people. I’m in my mid-30s and I make good money and have a great work-life balance which are the biggest parts of my personal criteria for success. Unfortunately the 2008 crisis and COVID inflation were some very influential rug-pulls for me as far as mid and long-term career trajectory goes but I’m definitely in the camp that, at least anecdotally, my 30s have seen me become much more established and successful than my 20s. It depends on a lot of circumstances though.
I just turned 40 this year and my 30’s changed me from a young optimist to an exhausted pessimist.
35 I feel so so good and confident about who I am and what I know and about my dealings with whoever.
I am passed to point of trying not to embarrass myself like when I was young it was about ‘looking cool’ and I guess it still kinda is but I am not totally brainwashed by media now
Of course it doesn’t magically happen and not everybody is on the same timeline. You do have to work for what you get. It’s just that for a lot of people, they’ve spend their 20s working toward things and start seeing the fruits of their labor in their 30s.
My 30s were a mixed bag. I went back to graduate school while working full time, so about 3 years of my 30s was pretty stressful. And during that time, I was so busy that I neglected some of my physical health and fitness, so I spent my late 30s working on that. But my career also took off, we bought a house, were able to start really putting money away. Also, we were able to travel a bit.
Plain miserable post.
OP, I hope your own life proves this wrong
“Anything can happen in your 30s” doesn’t seem like too of an unpopular opinion
Almost through the 20s- depressies… Really hoping my 30s are better.
There’s also the problem that happiness in life has little relation to career achievement
I don’t think when people say that they mean that things magically get better in your 30’s if you’ve been a complete bum in your 20’s.
Even for me, I’m not successful or established by any means, I’ve just been working at different jobs that are hovering around living wage since my 20’s, and has just been plodding along. However, even though I haven’t made a lot of breakthrough, just plodding along, paying off student loans, paying off my car, saving for home-ownership… by the time I was in my 30’s my car’s paid off, I’ve made a big enough dent in my student loans that the repayments are manageable and affordable, and was able to get a modest apartment in a comfortable suburb.
I’ve learned better life skills like cooking, meal planning, and budgeting, and even though I’m making less money now than in my 20’s, where I had to work 2-3 jobs to stay afloat whereas now I just have a 9 – 5, my life is more comfortable and I feel much more secure knowing that I can stick to my budget. I’ve established a good community of support and have good friends I can rely on, I’m tight with my fam jam and I have gotten good at my hobbies and have community there as well. I also don’t have the crazy peer-pressure of my 20’s and have developed a lot more emotionally maturity and communications skills. All these contribute to a better life, even though I have not had any major career breakthroughs that mark me as a “successful” person.
Who think it will just magically happen lol?
My 30s are infinitely better than my 20s, but you’re right, it was not by accident. I worked hard, got two degrees, and perhaps most importantly divorced my very toxic ex-wife. Being with the right partner can be incredible for personal growth. Being with the wrong one will actively stifle your opportunities. Now I’m married to a wonderful woman, have a young son who is doing great, I’m making six figures in a job I enjoy, and have a beautiful house nearly three times the size of the one I owned in my 20s. It can be done, but it is a lot of effort.
Not sure who ever told you that you’d be set by your 30’s but by my 30’s I was in a WAY better spot than my 20’s. And now that I’ve entered the 40’s I’m in a lot better spot than I was in my 30’s.
I get that this isn’t the case for a lot of people, things happen, get divorced, laid off, massive unforeseen circumstances but for many people it’s a path that slowly gets more and more comfortable the further you go.
No..
that’s when you’re supposed to start focusing on it..
They usually say this meaning its better to hold off that purchase/big life decision because you’ll be more established later and that’s the time to do it.
It’s not a guarantee to happen.
I don’t know what the opinion here is though… You can still be an unsuccessful person in your 30s, more news at 11?
Glad I did all my shit in my 20s and get to live my life with no need to prove anything to myself nor impress anyone (except my 6 year old son) at 42.
It’s not unpopular to say that success requires effort lol
my 30s have been pretty tits, got the career i want, i can afford the things i like to do, and im way wiser then in my 20s, that said it took a lot of sacrifice to get to that point
Anyone who says dating in your 30s is just as easy or easier than in your 20s has never dated in their 30s.
“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”
I think people say this to refer to situations when your 20s suck due to grinding through a proffession to potentially move up, or for education and training towards a great career. This has the potential to result in better 30s.
But if your 20s suck for other reasons your 30s won be better. You dont become magically lucky in your 30s.
So… Looking at your examples;
People who get their shit together have a good time, and those that don’t, don’t?
I mean, no shit?
Sounds like your opinion is actually “You don’t become established and successful in your 30s without putting in intelligently applied effort”. Which is just so obvious, is barely an opinion.
Your 30s are good if you worked hard in your 20s.
Do I wish I was physically 21 again? Sure, but my body is really no more broken down now than it was then. I’ve settled into my career, have a fiance, and a house. Those things seemed nearly impossible at 21 and the anxiety that came with it sucked.
I don’t know if this is a unpopular opinion but still gave you an upvote.
I read it on Reddit mostly and I think same goes for you.
You are in this bubble where people think life works that way.
There is no guarantee that shit gets better and no guarantee that shit gets better without effort.
You can be dead by tomorrow.
Ofc I can’t say if my 30’s will be like that, but since in my 20’s I have gotten an education, a good job I like that pays well, and a house I can comfortably live in and pay for, wile still having enough for savings and hobbies, I will say I got a good chance of my 30’s being like that.
No shit it doesn’t just magically happen lol
It happened to me. I worked hard throughout my 20s and then it all paid off at the beginning of my 30s. Success doesn’t happen by magic but if you put in the work starting at 18, 30s does tend to be the decade when all that experience and networking becomes worth it.
The older I get, the more I like myself
I’m in my thirties. Established, family, “successful”. But I know PLENTY of people from my highschool days who are not at this point. Just saying it’ll get better does nothing. You have to be ambitious.
AND EVEN THEN it might not happen for you.
Maybe you don’t automatically, but you have a lot more years to accomplish something
Eh. Life is a different trajectory but in my experience working in an office life, 30s is when careers take off for many people and also kids are a bit older so parents are out of the diapers phase and more into enjoying their children’s activities. So for a solid portion of people this is 100% accurate. Our bias is of course determined by those we are exposed to.
These subs need to just ban posts about word pronunciations and turns of phrase at this point.
Your 30s are for reaping the rewards for the hard work you put in, in your 20s. Your 40s are for enjoying the success and building upon your continued hard work from your 30s and so it continues. Making good decisions, working hard, making connections, and furthering your qualifications as early and often for future success is important to reaching the summit of your own potential, however high or low for you as an individual. Unless you’re from a wealthy family.
In this day and age, even if you do all the “right” things in your twenties, there’s still a great chance that everything will not turn out well. It’s very hard to get a job, very easy to get laid off, living expenses are so high. Even if you work hard and have a well paying job in your twenties, there’s still a great chance that you become unemployed for a long period of time or have to have a significant pay cut in your thirties.
Yeah I had a moment in my life where I was at one point expected to be a successful person in my 20’s yet at the same time I was thrown away for not being a successful person in my 20’s.
My thoughts were if I keep going at it, I might land at success in my 40’s…if I’m lucky.
Yeah this is not an opinion
Of course your 30s will suck if you don’t do anything.
But if you are driven and generally do good stuff with your life your 30s will be the period where you start getting a lot of returns from your investments.
“Working hard to become established” is baked into the statement.
Things may be hard now but if you preserve, you’ll be in a better place later, like in your 30’s.
This is an assumption that you are maintaining normal life milestones. Established in career, student loans paid off if you had any, starting a family, buying a home, etc.
If you go back to school or restart your career then you start your clock over and 8 years later you hit your “thirties” era.
Getting lazy or not living to your potential has nothing to do with being in your thirties.
My 40’s are screaming towards me and I hope it’s the decade I really figure it all out
I am yet to ever meet a man (outside of the Internet) who has lived this Redpill “life plot” of being rejected and dismissed in his 20s and then becoming succesful thanks to no factor else than time. This is a freaking Dharr Man video plot, not what real life looks like.
What happens in reality is that the 30s are simply the continuation of the 20s. If a man was a Skoof in his 20s, he won’t magically become a Chad in his 30s, nor be any likely to decide to change his life around because energy and initiative usually go down with age, not up.
I dunno. I did a few years in the military in my 20’s and spent 8 years messing around with a business that didn’t work out in the end. Wrapped it up a few years ago and now I’m speed running normal life, house wife kids etc. Although I’ve essentially started from scratch, the experience from both of those things in my 20s has made everything a lot easier and I have a nice job now and stability that I didn’t have back then – especially without a degree.
Don’t kill my hope OP 😭 I spent my earlier 20s as a drug addict. Homeless at times, always poor, working dead end jobs. I went to jail. I’m about to turn 27. I’ve finally settled into a job where I can pay my own bills, have my own housing, and I’m going back to school to be a nurse. Most importantly, I’m sober now. Piecing my life back together after the absolute wreck I made of things.
Holding onto hope that my 30s will be kinder, softer and easier overall is pretty much the only thing getting me out of bed recently. It sucks to feel like I’m already “so far behind” since I pretty much wasted 17-25.
Cheers to a better decade ahead 🎉
Well, duh, not everyone is going to be. However, your 20s is when you are allowed to be goofy and experiment with life. Yours 30s should be used for building to become established and successful. Also established and successful are very broad metrics.
This title feels misleading
Well anyone who believed it magically happens had the wrong idea in the first place. You’re supposed to put forth your best effort in life to succeed. If you’re lucky you’ll hit it off right off the bat in your mid 20s. If not by then, then likely by your early to mid 30s.
I truly believe if you hit 35 and you’re not successful, and you’re not even on a trajectory for success (say finishing grad school, or moving to another country) then you will likely never be successful. Human inertia is very powerful. As people get older they become more of who they always were.
Established I’d say yes , successful that too. Being successful varies. It’s not just whoever is a boss or has a million dollars
I’d like this person to go live my 20s and then the first 5 years of my 30s and get back to me.
Good for the sub though
It’s all perspective really, happiness is subjective and derived from within. I’m by no means in the situation I want to be right now, but I have enough behind me to know my 30s are destined to be better than my 20s. My early 20s were a phase of self destruction, my late 20s was spent making up for that, now my 30s are mine to turn into whatever I wish with a healthy relationship being the core of it. I’m happy, that’s really all that matters to me
It should not take 20-40 years to establish yourself.
My 20s taught me that no one knows what they fuck their doing and there’s plenty of idiots in leadership roles or that start wildly successful business. It’s given me the confidence to go try and be successful as I enter into my 30s.
If you aren’t at least setting a strong foundation in your 20’s your 30’s will be no better
Speak for yourself. I’m 32, established and successful.
But it wasn’t some magic wand that got me here automatically.
No shit
I’ve gotten more done professionally in my 30s than my 20s, but I’ve also fucked my life up way worse in the last 5 years than I ever could have in my 20s.
Feeling established and successful finally in my mid 40s. Never felt that way in my 30’s.
Also feel much closer to death, so there’s trade offs
No one said it was magic.
I would say 50s, usually student loan debt is finally paid off as well as credit card debts
It should be “30s are the pay-off to the work you did in your 20s.”
I’ve never heard anyone say it happens magically. I think it’s pretty obvious that’s not what people mean when they say that…
Most People need to rationalize everything. Categorize and organize In a way that’s easy to exploit and judge people over. Don’t you get it?!
Speak for yourself. 30s have been my best decade BY FAR. More money, more time, better friends. All you have to do is not piss away your 20s. Harder than is sounds but stick to an industry, save and live below your means, build good habits.
Knowing my luck, my thirties are going to be shit.
It takes time for tropes to be born. 30s being better than your 20s is like a Gen X thing now. Nowadays? There’s two classes of slightly young people – those who bought a house before COVID and those who didn’t.
You’re taking it the wrong way. A lot of mistakes and setbacks you make in your twenties can be resolved for the most part by your 30s. In the same vein a lot of the seeds you planted in your 20s start to turn into trees in your 30s as well.
You 30s, if you’ve been even somewhat intentional, should be a lot less stress free, should have more direction than your 20s, you likely have more money than you did in your twenties, and you’ll be wiser.
Of course there’s plenty of people who piss their life away, but generally speaking even just kinda trying in your twenties should get you a pretty decent 30s
I think the idea is if you invest a lot in yourself in your 20s, financially, physically, socially, the 30s take you into a potential zone for competency and flexibility while still having some youth. Especially if you start unwealthy. It’s not a guarantee by any means. A lot of people also have kids in their 20s and that makes life hard. By 30s they’re more independent and out of daycare. It’s what I’m experiencing at 36, kids out of daycare means I can feel my raises as disposable income versus just keeping up with annual daycare price hikes.
Simple explanation. Its about what you do and what life does to you. Somwtimes you get paralyzed waist down from a ak47, that’s life getting you. Sometimes you dont want to saceifice and work hard, that’s your fault.
I don’t think even a small number of people think it will happen magically. We all understand that the meaning is, in your 30s you will begin to enjoy the fruits of your labours in your 20s.
I’m more solid mentally in my thirties than I was in my twenties, but I’m far from accomplished in a conventional sense. I still don’t know what I wanna do when I grow up 🤣
I’m 32 and have literally never been happier.
I have a beautiful loving wife.
I love my job.
My friends and family live close.
And I’m sending this from my pool at my new house.
Even more stoked for my 40s tbh.
The assumption that one’s future is a promised land is funny though.
Yeah, speaking as someone who didn’t have their shit together until they were like 27/28, you got eventually stop fucking around and pursue your goals like your life literally depends on it.
I did exactly that. Spent my 20’s partying and not taking anything seriously. Built a real life in my 30’s
I think there is an un-stated understanding that things will get better IF you continue to make good choices and work hard. The choices part is VERY important. So far this advice/saying has proven true for me, and for most people I know. You start out entry-level in your 20’s in whatever career you chose, and by the time you’re in your mid to late 30’s, ideally you’ve been working in your career for 10+ years – things SHOULD be getting better. If they haven’t, maybe you’ve made some bad choices along the way, or just had bad luck. Bad luck does happen, sometimes things don’t work out through no fault of your own. Usually though, your life should be much more “established” in your 30’s than in your 20’s if you were smart about things.
What others have said and also that success and happiness is usually defined by career and salary which takes experience and time to acquire. A simple fact of life is that money makes life easier especially when it comes as part of a satisfying career that provides purpose, security, etc.
most 20 yos simply havent acquired the experience for such a lifestyle that is routine for a 30-40 yo
Ummm…it’s not at all based on the “assumption that future you will just get to the promised land.”
You don’t even understand what the saying means. It’s meant to insinuate you spend your 20’s working your ass off so that you’re established and successful in your 30’s.
The phrasing means you become that in your 30’s because you spent your 20’s working to get there.
You become established and successful when you start engaging in CONSISTENT behaviors that contribute to becoming established and successful.
Love my 30s. Just quit my job to find a better career move so I get what you mean though. I have a baby, a house, and a beautiful tribe
If you’re in a professional occupation, your 30s are better than your 20s. You spend half your 20s finishing college and getting your post-graduate degree. Then you need to spend a few years separating yourself from all the idiots who have the same degree as you.
I tripled my income from 26 to 31.
The last paragraph contradicts the headline.
I think from my point of view it’s more that hopefully by the end of your 20’s you’ve learnt enough about the world and yourself to start taking yourself a bit more seriously and give yourself the support and backing you need to achieve those things
There’s no promised land. It’s just years of building skills, assets and relationships.
I think age has less to do with this. I am 27 and have friends from all age ranges. One observation of mine is that the successful people I know, refuse to settle for whatever slop life decides to throw their way. They actually get up and put in the work. They’re driven individuals. This applies to emotional/mental/physical/financial success. On the contrary the people that became complacent with just getting by or settled with their high school sweethearts.. ouch. Not so much. Also note I live in SFL so considering the work ethic Hispanics are raised with it is very much hustle til you have it. How bad do you want it? I always ask myself that to keep myself motivated.
The future is always coming, but it never arrives.
Speak for yourself.
Wrong. Everyone is different. I’ve been telling my wife our 30s are going to be baller. We’re almost 31, have great paying careers. I only have to work like 20 hours a week. Buying a house. Have ONE kid, and some awesome cats. 30s are amazing.
Everybody has their own path to walk, universal axioms applied to age and position are mostly nonsense.
Mark Zuckerberg was a billionaire at 23.
Morgan Freeman didn’t get famous till he was 50.
Anybody out there believe Morgan Freeman wasn’t always himself?
What is perceived as “success” is a compatible combination of opportunity and timing.
Everybody has opportunities.
Some people don’t see them, some people miss them, people recognize them- but the timing is bad.
I’ve certainly experienced all three.
Your time will come, just be on the lookout for it.
Sure feels like it
I am hating my 20s, will hate my 30s, probably die in my 40s. I dont care anymore, man
25 – 35 was the best decade of my life. Just everything firing on all cylinders.
Um, well maybe not if you work in fitness or skincare but if you work in an industry that rewards time served with regular promotions odds are high that your 30’s will be an improvement over your 20’s
Your thirties are absolutely for settling into yourself and starting to crush it. If you aren’t by 36, it’s not gonna happen for you.
My 30s are the most successful I’ve ever been. We have continuously grow and work hard. Don’t be a bitch and blame the world for your bullshit.
Nothing in life is guaranteed, and some people are just luckier than others
Maybe it’s the way you worded the title to be so…absolute, but your take is false. I made VP at 27 and my 30s were pretty established and successful. I’m technically still in my 30s (turn 40 this summer) but have made my way up to Regional Executive.
So it’s not that you “don’t” it’s that “some people” don’t while others most certainly do.