Well I sent a group message between Alex, her bf and Me. My husband was not included because I didn’t want her getting ahold of his number. However he read the message before I sent it and had my back with it all the way.
The weight that lifted off of my chest realizing that she was indeed hiding things from her bf is amazing.
I’m not 100% sure if I will include screenshots of every single message but I stated my feelings on the matter in a respectful way. I know yall telling me to grow a back bone but wait for it lol. I let her and her Bf know that trust was gone and didn’t exist boundaries were broken and won’t be fixed.
She didn’t respond to my message for just about 2 hours and when she did it was this sob story for the books. The classic “I didn’t mean for this to happen” and “idk why I said that” the whole 9 yards.
Her boyfriend however responded almost immediately. And he was unaware of a few things that had happened between me and Alex. SHOCKER he stated that they would be talking once he got home and that was the end of mine and his conversation.
When Alex finally responded you could tell she was reaching for any excuse she could saying she was “impulsive” and “selfish” š I called her out on it. And all she could come up with was “idk” and she was ofc crying.
All in all our next DND will be our last the DM will be killing our character off and when the others ask me why we are leaving I will not hesitate to let them know. From what I can tell Alex and her bfs relationship is fine surprisingly but idk what goes on behind closed doors. The relationship with the DND group however I don’t think will go over so well with them but that’s not my problem.
For the commenters stating my husband may have had something to do with it or was in on it lol he was definitely not. I know my husband and he knows me. We have had discussions over the years about adding people for spicy time but ultimately figured out that we both get extremely possessive and would never be able to let someone else in on our private time. We are open and communicative to the point if he thought about it he’s comfortable with coming to me about it knowing we can talk about it. Because of the comments he also showed me on his phone he doesn’t have Alex on anything so she wouldn’t have been able to message him even if she wanted to šš
Anywho thank you all so much for the advise it honestly made me think about everything and yall are right I should have just throat punched her š¤·āāļø
1st pic is her BF and I
Last two are Alex and I
I’ve only blocked out names in the messages
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: Well I sent a group message between Alex, her bf and Me. My husband was not included because I didn’t want her getting ahold of his number. However he read the message before I sent it and had my back with it all the way.
The weight that lifted off of my chest realizing that she was indeed hiding things from her bf is amazing.
I’m not 100% sure if I will include screenshots of every single message but I stated my feelings on the matter in a respectful way. I know yall telling me to grow a back bone but wait for it lol. I let her and her Bf know that trust was gone and didn’t exist boundaries were broken and won’t be fixed.
She didn’t respond to my message for just about 2 hours and when she did it was this sob story for the books. The classic “I didn’t mean for this to happen” and “idk why I said that” the whole 9 yards.
Her boyfriend however responded almost immediately. And he was unaware of a few things that had happened between me and Alex. SHOCKER he stated that they would be talking once he got home and that was the end of mine and his conversation.
When Alex finally responded you could tell she was reaching for any excuse she could saying she was “impulsive” and “selfish” š I called her out on it. And all she could come up with was “idk” and she was ofc crying.
All in all our next DND will be our last the DM will be killing our character off and when the others ask me why we are leaving I will not hesitate to let them know. From what I can tell Alex and her bfs relationship is fine surprisingly but idk what goes on behind closed doors. The relationship with the DND group however I don’t think will go over so well with them but that’s not my problem.
For the commenters stating my husband may have had something to do with it or was in on it lol he was definitely not. I know my husband and he knows me. We have had discussions over the years about adding people for spicy time but ultimately figured out that we both get extremely possessive and would never be able to let someone else in on our private time. We are open and communicative to the point if he thought about it he’s comfortable with coming to me about it knowing we can talk about it. Because of the comments he also showed me on his phone he doesn’t have Alex on anything so she wouldn’t have been able to message him even if she wanted to šš
Anywho thank you all so much for the advise it honestly made me think about everything and yall are right I should have just throat punched her š¤·āāļø
1st pic is her BF and I
Last two are Alex and I
I’ve only blocked out names in the messages
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NTA (why would you be the asshole babe dw) I would have been way more upset if I were you, Iām sorry about the friend
what theā¦ā¦. alright so never speak to her again
I remember your OP. Problem is, now she is talking about ācanāt see eye to eye.ā Thatās how you know all those apologies above were not true remorse. Now what IS true is she didnāt see the harm at the timeā¦ and still doesnāt, as evidenced by āsee eye to eye.ā The crappiest part, is that the lesson she took away was not to blurt out things that can get her intro trouble, NOT the deep betrayal in even thinking she could/should/would BORROW your effing husband. And yes her behavior at the time indicates she was well aware she was in the danger zone being inappropriate as hell. Not trustworthy.
Your former friend told you she wanted to use your husband for her threesome. Wtf would you have anything else to do with her? You don’t have to go to the next DnD session. They can kill your characters off without you there.
NTA, but why drag this out?
He’s a puss. Stand on your business and say what you wanted. I hate that ” I was just joking” bullshit
NTA- every single person that knows us KNOWS that I donāt share, and neither does he. Iād glitter bomb her car, at the very least.
So cowardly. She said what she said, repeated it, it wasnāt funny or appropriate in any shape or form and when called out on it, decided to play the misunderstood poor girl who was just being quirky. Thereās nothing quirky about suggesting anything sexual with someoneās spouse or partner. Itās extremely disrespectful to dance around notions like that and the fact that she was a friend only makes it worse.
I am jealous of you and your husband.
“…I guess we can’t see eye to eye.”
Yeah. She wants to screw your husband. And you don’t want her to.
If she’s trying to srrange threesomes behind her boyfriend’s back, I can’t see their relationship lasting much longer. Maybe they’ll break up and you guys can continue your DnD group without her?
NTAH! She is no longer a friend. I’d be going no contact from now on.
NTA
Run far away
This is not normal behavior from start to finish. Her replies to you look like someone with a history of bad behavior who thinks saying “sorry” repeatedly fixes everything.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she was bipolar & dealing with a manic episode or a narcissist or both. Obv, not enough information here to diagnose but …. Just… No. Stay far away!
People like that wreck your life and then say “Oops! Did I do that?” Why yes, bish, yes, you did.
NTA. I wouldnāt accept a threesome ever, out of principle, let alone with or for a friend. Lol, I wouldnāt even bother texting her back.
Iām appalled she didnāt even try to offer her husband as guy as collateral
You’ve done great, but I’d really emphasize the word BETRAYED in one more text before blocking. Just so she’s clear, it has nothing to do with seeing eye-to-eye. It’s about how she crushed your feelings and your friendship by completely betraying that friendship and trust with her actions. She needs to hear how completely unacceptable that is of someone who calls themselves friend.
BUT, in another light… is it really your husband she’s after, or could it possibly be you? Worth asking yourself and her, and maybe her bf, since you seem to know each other well. That might add a layer to this dilemma, if she feels a certain way about you, but thought this was maybe the only way to approach those feelings that may conceivably work for you.
Both are plausible scenarios without knowing anyone involved.
> Because of the comments he also showed me on his phone he doesn’t have Alex on anything so she wouldn’t have been able to message him even if she wanted to ššĀ
This is protesting too much. I really hope your relationship isn’t damaged.Ā
OP. Reread the message from her BF again. He said that :” She never wanted to do a threesome AGAIN. (Bold to emphasize).
In other words, Alex and her BF have had 3somes in the past. Her BF was under the impression that Alex never wanted to repeat the experience(s). Which is why he is fine with still proposing to her. They, as a couple, are comfortable with having 3somes. It isn’t a dealbreaker for their relationship.
I would personally ask her BF (the DM) to have Alex’s character stab you in the back. That seems appropriate.
Your dying words can be : “You bitch! Is this retribution for not agreeing to let (husband’s character) boink you? You traitorous skank! My spirit will forever more haunt you! May a Night Hag imprison and torment you for all eternity! Gasp, death rattle. Dramatic convulsions and death.
I’ll be honest, DND is a lot more sexually active than I had imagined!
She did not make the cut
Give that Fat bitch a hiding
Idk. From your first post, my guess is that you and your husband got caught in one of their kink games of some cuckoo stuff fantasy that never was supposed to become reality. He sounds too used to it and is down playing it.
She’s trying to backpedal now that you exposed her. It wasn’t just to push your buttons or just venting, she literally asked you to consider loaning out your husband for sex. If the bf doesn’t dump her I’d be concernedĀ
If you want a 3some and everyoneās cool then do it. If there is other dramas preventing that because you guys arenāt adults then please donāt waste my time. Good luck
I might be old and out of touch on relationships these days but Iād be out of a friendship the moment a supposed friend asked to have sex with my husband.
Iād never trust that āfriendā again around my relationship