I notice that many men enjoy doing activities like walking or driving for hours, gaming, fishing, hiking, etc all in COMPLETE solitude.
As a woman I am intrigued by the amount of hours men spend in silence and I am wondering what is the reason behind it.
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I notice that many men enjoy doing activities like walking or driving for hours, gaming, fishing, hiking, etc all in COMPLETE solitude.
As a woman I am intrigued by the amount of hours men spend in silence and I am wondering what is the reason behind it.
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We like the quiet
We are drawn to peace.
We been burned too much
Silence is bliss.
Too much shit going on. Gotta get away from it all for some damn peace and quiet for a change.
Reminds me I’m gonna go to the little bakery down the street, grab my fishing pole and head to the beach today! 🙂
Peace and tranquility
Everyone needs alone time, men need more of it.
We prefer peace, not chaos.
It’s how a lot of us are wired.
Think about it this way, You don’t find game when talking, when you don’t find game you don’t eat and when you don’t eat you die. We learned over many many years to communicate with simple gestures that get passed down from generation to generation. I can communicate 3 or 4 sentences just by a simple head nod.
I’m a social guy who got shunned. Told not to talk by my mom. Perhaps I didn’t have filter. But what filter would you expect from a kid?
Anyway.
I’m forced into this. I didn’t accept it.
That’s how we recharge ourselves.
Conversely, why can’t more people shut up and be quiet for a bit?
They rather peace than a piece you must handle. Let them go for the guys they objectify.
It feels nice to not have to say anything. I have the ability to be as extroverted as I need to be but I am a super introverted guy, sometimes there’s just no need to speak. Also I enjoy the peace and time I get to dive into something I really enjoy and focus on that 100% for a while
Who wouldn´t like peace and silence without anyone wanting something from you?
I don’t feel like that’s true at all. I know a lot of women and they love their solitude. They’re damn good at it too. They know how to pamper themselves and celebrate being alone
Men are constantly held accountable by society and shamed for not living up to unrealistic expectations of the past. We have no choice but to be alone most of the time it’s the only peace we have outside of society expectations
Been a bit of an outcast all of my life. Figured out that if im gonna get shit done, i do it alone. Things are easier and better this way.
I know for me the answer is that outside of those activities either I’m being asked to do something for others or I’m being criticized or yelled at for something I did or didn’t do or did or didn’t do right. Basically I don’t feel safe around other people. When there are no other people around then I don’t have to worry about the opinions or needs of others.
Are we drawn to it or pushed towards it?
The little (and not entirely conclusive) research we have on this shows women are more comfortable with solitude than men, in general. Related but much more common research shows that men in general are more lonely more often than women, primarily due to western social pressures.
my wife can’t understand me about this either. For context, my wife is a twin and also has another brother and sister. Big Italian family aunts Uncle’s grandparents the works.
I’m an only child. So I have no problem doing things by myself. I can go out to eat by myself, I can go to the movies by myself, I can do anything by myself and think nothing of it and actually enjoy it because I don’t have to worry about somebody else.
She just cannot understand this and gets upset when I wanna go do something by myself.
Plus, men can do anything and think about nothing while doing it.
It’s the path of least resistance.
Because Men crave peace.. Woman love drama
Solitude is peace and quiet. Not bullshit.
We’re accountable for our own troubles and triumphs. Don’t have to get more piled on that is somehow our fault
When men face a problem we go into our “metaphorical” caves. It’s nice being left alone to think.
When we get a chance to actually go into a “physical” cave, we take it.
Men are from mars, women are from venus is a decent insight into the way men and women typically behave.
We value peace. we value time to think about things in peace
Even Superman had a fortress of solitude. I don’t know why that’s a thing maybe it’s from like years of evolution back when we were hunter gatherers or something. Probably not but that’s the only thing I can think of.
They do? The men I know and of course, I don’t know all the men! Usually do things by themselves because they don’t have friends.
I love solo hiking especially when I see almost no other people.
I don’t mind if my wife joins me on hikes, or doing whatever, but I want to do it when I want, not an hour later after she changed 5x. Just be ready to go when I am
My brother is like this and he says he saves money and doesn’t need to always be catering to a girl.. all his time is his own lol. He still has sex but not relationships
Sometimes just being a lone and doing what I want related to those activities is so relaxing. For example I like to explore new locations and going alone I believe gives me the opportunity to explore without having to deal with someone else.
Because men have no choice. Women will always have some kind of attention from men and other women.
It wasn’t a woman who coined the phrase “Hell is other people.”
Some activities are more enjoyable solo. For me, if I’m playing videogames I prefer story driven stuff that I can play at my own pace. That’s typically a solo activity. Same with playing musical instruments, unless I have a GF that plays one too (which would be great) I’m going to be doing that solo.
On top of that, I enjoy my own company, it’s all good and relaxing.
I would guess it’s because men were raised with the expectations that they will support themselves and others. They aren’t raised to seek the comfort of others, nor to share emotionally. They’re told to suck it up, be the strength for others, be the pillar, be someone others can rely on.
This leaves them not only emotionally isolated, but also lacking in emotional (and therefore social) intelligence. As a consequence of this, social interactions are more distant and less fulfilling. They don’t provide the same level of support or emotional comfort. They can’t step as fully into relationships. They can’t invest as fully in the emotional connections.
Solitude is easier. It’s what they were taught is expected of them. What they were raised to endure.
Bc men prefer peace, and women don’t often bring that
In my case my wife hates or dislikes all of those activities and I love most of them so I have to do them by myself
What can we say, it’s fun! Don’t get me wrong, it’s almost always more fun when a friend accompanies, but it’s nice to focus on oneself and the surrounding environment with no other distractions.
Solitude means freedom from the expectations of other people.
My best guess is since so many women are more socialized by modern societies to be communal/caretakers and men are socialized more to be self-sufficient/providers, it’s more of an attitude towards solitude and the use of it that makes the difference.
That being said, people can be raised to be however so there’s always exceptions to the rules.
I think it depends on the person, not the gender. I’m a woman who loves solitude and I know a lot of women who are like me.
Great time of my life was living alone in my own house. I could happily spend a weekend at home doing projects like refinishing my deck or replacing the bathroom floor. I enjoyed just being left the fuck alone to listen to my own thoughts and contemplate life, make decisions, make plans.
But I have also met women who are not like me. It’s like they think they’ll die if they go 30 seconds without talking, polluting the air with complete nonsense. I’ve met some men like this too, worse, I’ve been on a DATE with one, unfortunately for dinner, and I was ready to shoot myself in the face to put myself out of my misery before the goddamn appetizers came. He could hardly shut the fuck up long enough to take a breath.
Most males of any species on this earth seem to prefer solitude. Many species of female do not care for the males accept when they want babies. It is not quite that extreme with humans. Some of the human females do like male company.
I am currently single and am fine spending time alone. If I had a partner I would be happy to spend my time with her instead of alone.
The only problem my ex and I had was that I wanted to to spend time with her while she wanted to spend time with other people, lol.
Not sure if it’s because I’m a man or I’m an introvert, but I NEED to have frequent periods of solitude to recharge my batteries.
As a man who has had a chaotic life, I enjoy my moments of solitude when I can sit back and enjoy life as it is vs being immersed in the chaos that comes with having a wife and kids. There’s no loud noises, no flashing distractions, just you and the noises that are natural with the environment you’re in. You finally get to think, to breath, to not have to worry about what comes next or the stresses that comes with life. It’s the magical time to shut off your brain and just only focus on the here and now.
For women, the equivalent would be a romantic book, candles, and a nice warm bath. That’s your fortress of solitude. For men, it’s being outdoors or something immersive that allows us to shut down and not think.
We are used to it. Men are overwhelmingly alone most of their lives. Even when in the company of others (friends, family, girlfriends, wives etc). We are trained from a very young age that we aren’t shit and that the only way we become worth anything is grinding to become something.
Society in general does not care about our struggles, problems, thoughts or feelings. It’s been this way since the dawn of man for the most part, so we are just used to it.
And it only increases as we age as we have a far lower tolerance for bullshit or anything or anyone who gets in the way of the thing we value most in life: Peace.
Prefer solitude over windhelm
Most men don’t really have well-developed social and emotional intelligence because society doesn’t encourage that in men the way it does in women. As such, a lot of men straight up have no idea how to process their feelings, let down emotional walls and confide in others. Solitude gives them a chance to actually try to sort through their fears, feelings and insecurity in a way women would typically do by talking to friends or a therapist.
A lot of people depend on you, which is draining. And they can’t exactly offer any comfort to you because it is both not expected in our society and it would somehow be emasculating in the eyes of many if they did.
So being alone is a way to get away from all that drain and practice some self-love.
We love peace and quiet.
Men generally don’t yearn attention and women generally do.
I’d honestly be surprised if there’s not women like this too. I don’t think it’s so much that I want to “get away from women” or anything like that, it’s just nice to have time to yourself to decompress. It’s extremely important for me to have moments of peace like that; it allows for some time with my own thoughts where I can actually process any negative things that have happened, or plan and think about some of my goals and who I’d like to be and what I want to accomplish. Just hard to do that when you’re talking to another person sometimes.
After slaying the dragon and saving the word, we just want peace and quiet.
Men are not valued for who they are but for what they do. They get rewarded by society and family, of course, but never for being who they are as people. I once went on a 5 month hike, and someone asked if I felt lonely, and I surprised myself by saying it’s the first time in my life I haven’t felt lonely. I was seeing myself as valuable, capable, and grateful for showing myself how important it is to reward myself.