My apologies if this is too wordy. I’m 25 and would really like to be in a relationship, but it is very difficult.
I think I work a great job. I travel weekly so it’s a bit difficult to join some clubs or find new hobbies during the week. I do go out during the weekends with my friends but a lot of those activities are sports-related.
I did join the dating apps (Hinge and Tinder). It’s been 6 months or so and I’ve never gotten a match. I am aware I’m not the most attractive person, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. I’m short and bit too skinny and I’m going to the gym so I can look better.
Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I’m running out of time and this is getting to my head. If anyone is interested in giving feedback to my profiles, please message me. Be as ruthless as possible and I’m open to making my profile better in any way.
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My apologies if this is too wordy. I’m 25 and would really like to be in a relationship, but it is very difficult.
I think I work a great job. I travel weekly so it’s a bit difficult to join some clubs or find new hobbies during the week. I do go out during the weekends with my friends but a lot of those activities are sports-related.
I did join the dating apps (Hinge and Tinder). It’s been 6 months or so and I’ve never gotten a match. I am aware I’m not the most attractive person, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. I’m short and bit too skinny and I’m going to the gym so I can look better.
Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I’m running out of time and this is getting to my head. If anyone is interested in giving feedback to my profiles, please message me. Be as ruthless as possible and I’m open to making my profile better in any way.
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If the datimg apps haven’t worked for you so far, just cut your loses and start approaching women in real life, not even with ghe intention of dating, but just to get comfortable with cold approaching. Learn to read body language and be mindful of boundaries.
The best advice I can give is start talking to everyone. Make it a habbit to look strangers in the eye and greet them. Ask their day is going.
This did wonders for me. Male, female it didnt matter. And it made talking to attractive women a breeze. Im just greeting them and making eye contact with like everyone else.
Good hygiene/grooming/dress are definitely positives, along with getting in shape.
And you’re probably gonna have to approach in person.
Brother,
I feel you, I had my girst girlfriend at 25, but to be honest, its more in your head than in reality, what I learned is that forcing it true dating apps is really not the way. Being Single is actually amazing, you can focus on your hobbies and goals, and trust me, the women that fits for you will come by itself, dont focus too much on it, and enjoy your moments as a free man, its much better than you actually realize!
I feel like dating apps are more of hookup aps nowadays anyway. I would not dare to find long time partner there.
If I was single today, I would do what I enjoyed doing – talk to strangers on streets. Probably the best way for me.
I don’t have any answer, suffice to say 25 isn’t running out of time. I know a few people who were well into their 30s before finding love. A very good friend of mine found his at 45 and became a dad at 47.
It sounds glib, but chill. Be a nice guy, laugh, joke, flirt .. it’ll happen.
Sorry man, its already too late for you.
You are definitely not running out of time at 25. I’m quite a bit older than you, and can tell you that feeling is always there, somewhere. It’s normal but you can’t let it live in your head as it’ll affect everything you do, especially on a date. Desperation is a turn off.
Ask your friends if they know anyone who is available. It’s best to have a friend talk you up to a person they might know.
25?? Bro life’s basically over. What’s the point of trying now
Desperation shows. I’ve gone through dating dry spells in the past, and have oozed of desperation when approaching/talking to women. Meanwhile, when in long-term relationships, I have had no problem with talking with women, no matter how attractive. Guess when women were more interested in me? Just like men can tell when women are desperate to get married or have kids, women can tell when men are desperate for a relationship. You have to find a way to play it cool when talking to women in public. Talk without the intention of asking her out. Get comfortable with the idea that women are people, not someone to date/sleep with. It sounds cliche, but dating has to happen naturally/organically, without trying to force it. Do you have platonic female friends in your life who can give you some pointers on clothes, attitude, and how to talk with women? Also, dating apps are a complete waste of time for men. Uninstall them. The only thing they will do is destroy your self-esteem.
Finding a partner sometimes is more about self perception/ confidence. what things you do or about you make proud or will make you proud of yourself? what things you are passionate about? Based on that I will work on those things to build up your self esteem and confidence. Then since you have not interacted with woman you need to know some communicational skills so you need to practice. I would work on myself make the things what I want to do while increasing the amount of friends where there will be eventually girls and I guarantee that the more friends you have the more probabilities of finding a gf you have. Also don’t be anxious girls can smell from a. Block away desperate guys lol. Join a craft class lol
Listen, do not put a timeline on things you cannot control.
You said be ruthless, so imma be ruthless. You see.. it’s very simple.. you pursue.. the fat women. They love skinny men. Get that experience under your belt and then you upgrade and better your game overtime. Start at level 1, bro. Every man has a fat girl experience.
You’re 25 and never had a girlfriend. Trust me you’re not late. You don’t wanna be messing around with immature girls anyway (not saying all are immature). People say dating sucks when they’re older. Some say it’s worse when they’re younger. Truth be told I find dating to be the best around 27-34, but that’s just me. There’s not shame in not having a girlfriend yet. As I always say, your end goal is to end up with 1 woman anyway.
Will you… explode… if you aren’t in a relationship by 30?
Dm me I’ll look at your profiles, no matches in 6 months is odd
I’d take a deep breath. The apps rarely lead to anything long term anyway. I’m a 28 y/o female. I’d look at your profiles if you wanted
I’m 31 and never had a real relationship. Nothing to be worried about man. Focus on yourself and your life, be yourself (unless you’re a creep, then stop being a creep) and eventually you’ll run into someone and it clicks.
There is no rush, relationship is a society based dependency anyway.
Going to the gym is always a great place to start in wanting to feel better about yourself/more confident.
I’m going to level with you as a fellow vertically deficient gent: dating apps are designed against us.
This isn’t a “woe is me” type self-victimization, apps are designed against all of us. Dating apps commodify people as easily as Amazon 1-click-buy and delivery app instant reorders do: they’re meant to be impersonal and devoid of social repercussions for treating dating as if we are shopping for a perfect partner. It preys on the superficiality of appearance more than anything else because honestly no one’s bio is really important when you can see hundreds of different people in a matter of minutes.
One can select height, education, religion, etc. as preferences because they believe that those outweigh the value of the person they would be meeting. If you have value in those things, that’s fine, but it naturally restricts you from everyone else outside of those bounds.
Dating apps are a very real way people meet nowadays, so I’m definitely not going to tell you not to use them. However, I do want to tell you to try and focus on real world connections and interactions where possible. Try working on your confidence, as confidence is an attractive characteristic for a partner to have. I have seen my friends drive potential partners away on first interaction just because they exude so much desperation. Remember that women are just people, and are deserving of respect and normal interactions all the same. If you happen to be out at a bar with the guys and see someone you think is attractive, there’s nothing illegal about saying “hi, my name is ____, I think you have a very nice smile/laugh/etc” or even just “hi, I just want to say I think you’re beautiful, have a nice night” and continue along.
P.S. I’m 24, turning 25 this year. I understand how you’re feeling from a “it feels like everyone’s in a relationship, or married, or is having kids” perspective, but believe me, you’re not falling behind everyone: there’s no race, milestones aren’t timed. I thought I’d be in hundreds of different lives with different careers or with different people, but life has a funny way of twisting and turning all over the place and landing you where you need to be.
P.S.S. TimeLeft App sets up dinners with 5 strangers, gives you an opportunity to meet people in a neutral setting.
Go to the gym. Get someone to take good pictures for a profile of you. Travel a bit and get some good ones abroad. You’ll get a ton of matches with just a little effort then you can find a partner easily
Hey Man, I don’t really have some advice how what to do better. However, it’s never too late. Don’t think that if your not in a relationship by x amount of time your failing. We all have our different roads that we walk.
You are the same person I was 6 years ago, even down to the weekly work traveling. I met someone at 26, stopped traveling (didn’t stop cause of her, but don’t think it would’ve worked in the early stages if I didn’t in hindsight). I am now 31 married with 2 kids happier than ever.
I’m average height though, so no comment there. It’s not fair but people do judge on height if we’re being honest.
Your not too late
First off, address that being desperate thing. You’ve got plenty of time!
Second continue the gym thing also look for other ways of improving. (Hygiene and grooming, cooking, good conversational skills.)
This last one might will come out a little mean. You mentioned that you know your not the best looking.
Are your expectations/criteria for a partner in line with your own? Or might you possibly need to reevaluate the type of people you swipe right on.
I’m not saying don’t follow your heart or pursue whatever rustles your jimmies, just keep in mind what people see at first impression before getting to know you.
My wife was WAY out of my league, but I was in a situation where she got to know me over time.