I am a 31 male who is about to propose to his girlfriend. She is my first and only girlfriend, as i was a late bloomer. I’m tall, athletic, smart, have a good job but just never dated before due to severe mental health issues that I’ve since resolved through a lot of hard work.
I love my girlfriend and I got lucky to find her and have her be my first relationship. But at the back of my mind I can’t help but want to date around and sleep with as many women as possible. I don’t think it would be very difficult to do this. But I do want and value deep, long term relationships and that’s what I have now.
I think I’m partly grieving the fact I didn’t have a normal childhood and want to make up for that. But the thing is, as shitty as my upbringing was, it made me into the man I am today. And I’m very proud of who I’ve become.
Has anyone been through something similar? Any advice? I’m going to go through with the proposal as it feels right in my gut/heart. And these feelings of wanting to sleep around will likely pass but curious to what others think.
Thank you!
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I am a 31 male who is about to propose to his girlfriend. She is my first and only girlfriend, as i was a late bloomer. I’m tall, athletic, smart, have a good job but just never dated before due to severe mental health issues that I’ve since resolved through a lot of hard work.
I love my girlfriend and I got lucky to find her and have her be my first relationship. But at the back of my mind I can’t help but want to date around and sleep with as many women as possible. I don’t think it would be very difficult to do this. But I do want and value deep, long term relationships and that’s what I have now.
I think I’m partly grieving the fact I didn’t have a normal childhood and want to make up for that. But the thing is, as shitty as my upbringing was, it made me into the man I am today. And I’m very proud of who I’ve become.
Has anyone been through something similar? Any advice? I’m going to go through with the proposal as it feels right in my gut/heart. And these feelings of wanting to sleep around will likely pass but curious to what others think.
Thank you!
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If you’re still feeling like that you aren’t ready to get married yet. Going through with the proposal clearly DOESNT feel right in your gut, because your gut still wants to sleep around lol. Proposing would be a mistake my guy. You need to resolve this first.
You’d be doing both your gf and you a disservice by sweeping this under the rug. At the very least you owe it to your partner to let her know about these feelings so she can be informed about what she’s getting into.
But these kinds of things don’t just pass on their own. The feelings are unresolved now and will remain unresolved. You’re setting your gf up to get cheated on.
I’d listen to that voice. You don’t have to break up with her. Is she applying pressure to get married or something? If that’s the case then absolutely do not propose.
Mate. You answered your own question.
You want to sleep around. So do not, under any circumstances, drag the poor girl into a marriage or LTR if you still haven’t gotten it out of your system.
It’s not fair on her, and you know it.
You cant have your cake and eat it too. If you go back for the experiences you never had then you lose this girl and have to try to find another one you want to marry down the line. It took you 31 years to find this one, thats not a worthwhile trade. You found what everyone wants at the first time of asking, just be grateful for it.
i see your point but you girlfriend deserves better than to get engaged to someone having second thoughts about marrying her and wanting to sleep around instead.. if that’s how you truly feel than leave her and do as you please but why would you wait until this moment to second guess yourself when you’re clearly serious enough about her to wanna propose ?
Thank you both. She knows about these feelings. Is it not a normal feeling to have? These are not all consuming feelings and I have no intention to act on them. And as for what I want, I want a long term, committed relationship. And I have that and am happy. Am I missing something though? This is more serious than I’m making it out to be is the vibe I’m getting?
Your girlfriend is living out one of my biggest nightmares in real time 😭 I feel so bad for her omg don’t propose PLEASE 😭 “sleep with as many woman as possible” while about to propose and thinking “I’m proud of who I’ve become” sorry to say there is still ALOT of work ahead.
Slow your roll bro.
Yeah once you propose it’s over. You’ll still get tempted by the thought of other girls as you’ve never experienced anything else than with 1 girl. The feelings will go in good time but if you’re thinking about it now, you’ll be thinking about it for some time.
How long have you been dating her?
From someone who’s been in your shoes (childhood trauma, former fatty) who became fit and successful and slept around with a lot of girls I can tell you that A) The need is coming from a place of pain to prove your worth based on a immature you B) Its probably your mind trying to sabotage a great relationship because its getting serious C) At my peak after sleeping with about 8 women in a span of 2 weeks I was left depressed and souless, and decided to never do it again as it felt so pointless after it all and went monk mode and never felt happier. Hope that helps.
Tell us you want to be the biggest nightmare of her life without directly stating you want to be the biggest nightmare of her life. Do not propose. Let her go and go sleep around. As a “late bloomer” those feelings will not go away. As a female, I just got out of that type of situation and it sucked. Spare her please.