This is a super popular opinion and most boys will be given the advice to fight their bully. It’s commonly regarded as the best way to stop a bully. However, I don’t think that kids being bullied are warned about this approach.
Here’s the typical line of reasoning for why you should fight a bully:
If you fight the bully, you will show him that you’re not an easy target, and it will deter him from bullying you in the future—especially if you win.
However, I argue that this all depends on how much of a fight you give the bully. I do agree that overtime the bully may indeed leave you alone, so I’m not saying fighting isn’t worth it in any sense.
Rather, I think that kids aren’t generally prepped for the possibility that they might have to get their ass kicked 2, 3, 5, 10 maybe even 15 times, etc before the bully leaves them alone. Most people probably believe that one fight will be sufficient enough to deter the bully, but if you fight the bully and you go and get your ass beat quickly. It may be a lot worse before it gets better.
In fact, in some cases you may just embolden the bully. The bully may bully you even more now. To make matters worse, if with each sequential fight, you don’t make it harder on the bully, things may actually never change for you. On top of that your risk of injury increases every fight.
At worst, the bully may even start to look forward to fighting you, because now he wants to break your spirit. He gets a rush every time he fucks you up. He wants to see you give up for good and become subservient to him entirely. He’ll even invite you to fight him directly or try to taunt you into a fight. The most careless of bullies won’t wait for an excuse to hurt you.
So honestly, for some kids fighting ISN’T a worthwhile decison altogether. At least not fighting by themselves. If they can get somebody else to fight for them, that may just work. The only thing a kid like that has to worry about is getting caught by himself.
Though depending on how much of a threat the kid’s “bodyguard” is, the mere thought of the bodyguard retaliating may be enough to deter the bully from trying anything even if the kid is alone.
This is something that I don’t think victims of bullying are warned about when they’re given the advice to fight. Handling a bully isn’t always so simple.
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You don’t fight a bully on equal terms. You cheat to assure victory.
Bullies bully for their own reasons, usually insecurities and unhappiness. Fighting them seldom addresses those reasons. Look after yourself, whether it is avoidance, fighting back, or whatever is most appropriate. It’s about you, not them.
Maybe, definitely depends. I choked out my bullies, and they never even made eye contact with me again.
Nonsense. Bullies only target people because there are no repercussions. If you show them they’ll have a fight by messing with you (Even one they’ll win 9/10) they’ll still just leave you alone in favor of a softer target.
Why throw hands with this guy every day and potentially lose or face constant administrative actions when the guy next to him won’t do anything? This post was made by someone afraid to confront their bully but you got to get over that fear man. The longer it goes on the bigger the target you put on your back and the harder it will be to break the cycle.
I’m a girl and when I was in middle school I broke my bully’s nose, he cried so bad and no one ever bullied me again.
Also, the movies always assume the bully is not as good at fighting as the victim. In most cases, bullies will be above average at fighting. If they weren’t, they’d be unlikely to get into bullying. And usually they’ve had more practice.
This is why guns exist.
I was a skinny kid but stubborn, fearless, and scrappy because of my dad who drilled into my head that I am not to be anyone’s punk—no matter their size, win or lose.
And I wasn’t some badass. But I would fight anyone. If a kid outclassed me in size and strength, sure they’d win. But it’d be a battle that would never end as I was determined to go farther than they would to get back at them. Maybe my dad is a bit crazy, but that’s what he instilled in me. I never had a bully in my life because of what he taught me.
You can lay down and take it if you want man, I won’t
What’s your actual solution instead of ‘don’t do the thing’
idk man punching my bully in the nose and making fun of his weight seemed to do the trick. he ain’t ever go near me after that
Stand up to your bullies
Fight only when necessary
Talking to the bully one on one worked 100% of the time for me
Avoiding is great until you can’t
Fighting works as long as no one gets seriously injured
a glock 19 is easily beating my bullies. but im british.
You need to be absolute sure you can win a fight to win a fight. That should be universally understood.
I just had my first fight this year. It wasn’t pretty. I got slung around a lot, but I didn’t lose. And I didn’t go that hard considering it was my teammate, I’m not gonna hurt him. I’m almost entirely certain that if there were no other parties, it could’ve ended badly for me.
But knowing what I know now, I trust myself getting into a slugfest, and if I know what I’m fighting over, losing doesn’t bother me that much.
If you’re fighting a bully and lose, at least you fought. You don’t have to win to earn respect. However if you lose, lose with dignity— that means keep it close and grind it out. Bite. Kick. Gouge.
Elementary school here is 8 years. I fought half of it through so they will leave me alone for the other half.
I had many bullies. Some stopped at the first time I fought back, some I had to fight more than once and there was a small percentage that got angrier and angrier each time. Guess what, for the last 2 years the last type of kids were the ones who would hide behind me and ask me to help them fight someone else since they know 100% I’m capable of anything in a fight.
Fight your bullies. Most of the time it works. Sometimes it works with a bit of a delay. Anything is better than to tolerate. You’re already hurting, best thing you could do is to hurt them back even more.
Upvote since 8 years of elementary proved this otherwise. In the end the victor will be the one who kept going despite everything.
I think it is fairly apparent that fighting back is a good solution. But the problem is many kids who are bullied in the first place don’t have the gumption to fight back. I was bullied for a while age 13 and the fear would overpower me before I’d think of hitting back, just the way I am. I witnessed an attempt to bully a friend of mine – he was smaller but with more fight. He did throw a punch back and as a consequence was left alone. I can absolutely see that it would have been to my advantage to hit back but I just couldn’t do it. Fortunately for me it was only a passing thing that I was targeted anyway.