TIFU by sending my EX the mail with things I had wanted him to know but not directly

r/

So I have this EX with whom I wasn’t in contact for almost 2 years, we were in the same college, but I had restrained from reaching out because 2 years ago he had made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to be contacted. I agreed. We both had broken up on awful terms, leaving me yearning for him for most of the time.
Before the ending of previous semester, I decided to ask him few things that had remained unclear post breakup because of his shutdown. Well tbh I really like him even now , even after knowing his fu, but let’s not go there

Now, when I call him, he picks up, we have a good 2 hr walk wherein he accepts his mistakes and tries to apologize, I also forgive him, because according to me, we shouldn’t be digging up the past too much.

Now we had a good convo there and went back home. He was supposed to shift to Bangalore for his summer internship
Now I get how stressful it can be shifting to another city, on your own, a new workplace, new people. I get it all.
But what I don’t get is the ability to drop a single “Thank you” text
Like I texted him, all the best for your first day and shit and shit, but I don’t receive a text till 3 days of the text, that too also when I reached him out again.
I try to text him again, but I feel like when he’s not replying in that duration, I feel really put down, I feel as if he’s ghosting me, even when he’s told me he isn’t.
I understand time commitments and everything, but is “I’m busy, I’ll ttyl” too much to ask for?

I felt very bad, also because I still love this person. So I drafted a mail to him
Wrote why I loved him, wrote that he might have avoidant attachment styles, and ofc I am the anxious type, which is why I think what I think.
In a very nice way, we closed our friendship because I still love him, and I wouldn’t wanna be friends with someone I love, because that would be torture for me.
Kind of also tried to tell him how much physically attractive he is to me

And after drafting I thought to take lite and simply put it in the draft
But that did not happen
It was 5 in the morning and my eyes were already closing and I sent him the mail ** accidently
now, after a day he texts me thankyou for the free psych eval and how he owes me no explanation now for ghosting me and hopes me to move on

Damn it!
I didn’t want that
I wanted him to want me but that didn’t happen

and now I am blocked. Should I just text him that this was accidental
Would that even make a difference?
Help me, folks!

I still miss him, want him, but sometimes, all he does is hurt me, I cry to his name while going to the bed, Idk what should I do to get him back, I just don’t know, and he refuses to comply or tell me what does he even want

TL;DR Fucked up by actually trying to get back together with my EX, but on the contrary made him believe otherwise, Now I am blocked.