I (16F) have been in an on-and-off dynamic with my ex (17M) for about four years. We’re emotionally very close and deeply connected; he’s attentive, protective, and genuinely cares about me. We share values, humor, and have great communication. In many ways, he’s my ideal partner.
But… truth is, even though I can see a future with him, in the present, I feel the need to pull away. At least physically.
He’s attractive, and the attraction is mutual. But whenever it comes to physical contact, I feel blocked, even kissing makes me uncomfortable, almost grossed out, though I don’t fully understand why. Maybe it has something to do with his hygiene, which is just decent, but something feels off.
Lately, l’ve tried to open up physically, but he’s very touchy and needs constant contact, which overwhelms me. We kissed today, and it just didn’t feel right again, leading me to pull away. He is getting frustrated with that, as i of course understand. He has seen me kiss other people with which i barely felt things for with no issue, but i seem to have it when it comes to him.
Emotionally, I see a future with him. But physically, something holds me back, and I don’t know why
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I (16F) have been in an on-and-off dynamic with my ex (17M) for about four years. We’re emotionally very close and deeply connected; he’s attentive, protective, and genuinely cares about me. We share values, humor, and have great communication. In many ways, he’s my ideal partner.
But… truth is, even though I can see a future with him, in the present, I feel the need to pull away. At least physically.
He’s attractive, and the attraction is mutual. But whenever it comes to physical contact, I feel blocked, even kissing makes me uncomfortable, almost grossed out, though I don’t fully understand why. Maybe it has something to do with his hygiene, which is just decent, but something feels off.
Lately, l’ve tried to open up physically, but he’s very touchy and needs constant contact, which overwhelms me. We kissed today, and it just didn’t feel right again, leading me to pull away. He is getting frustrated with that, as i of course understand. He has seen me kiss other people with which i barely felt things for with no issue, but i seem to have it when it comes to him.
Emotionally, I see a future with him. But physically, something holds me back, and I don’t know why
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Kissing can lead to sex, sex can lead to babies so it’s natural you have no desire for that level of intimacy.
Warning your pheromones are knocking
The lady of my household has declared that this is shenanigans and you are full of baloney. You, sir, are no 16 year old girl.
Not sure if it is possible to sabotage a relationship with an ideal partner by speaking about how you feel and having boundaries.
on off relationships seldom have a bright future, you can not sabotage that which is already broken
Physical attraction is just as important as emotional attraction. There’s something about him in the back of your mind that’s stopping you from being physically attracted to him. On-off dynamic is probably the main thing.
Go out, have some fun. You’re too young for this back and forth. Let yourself pull away and stop gravitating back to him.
The answer you are looking for is in psychology,
Research attachment styles, precisely avoidant attachment style when it comes to relationships.
I highly highly recommend a woman called Heidi Preibe on YouTube. These 30minutes will save you a lot of confusion in your life.