I’ve noticed a recurring pattern with some of my female friends: they expect me to be the one who initiates conversations and plans hangouts. If I don’t message them for a while, they say things like, “You never text me anymore” or “You’ve forgotten me.” But it rarely occurs to them to reach out first.
Sometimes they even ask my male friends to remind me to call them, instead of just messaging me themselves, which honestly feels childish.
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I’ve noticed a recurring pattern with some of my female friends: they expect me to be the one who initiates conversations and plans hangouts. If I don’t message them for a while, they say things like, “You never text me anymore” or “You’ve forgotten me.” But it rarely occurs to them to reach out first.
Sometimes they even ask my male friends to remind me to call them, instead of just messaging me themselves, which honestly feels childish.
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You communicate directly with them
It is childish. You’re disposable to them.
I don’t. Once I realise that’s the pattern of our relationship, I give up and stop making the effort.
I have a friend that I’ve known since school. We were very close for a long time, but I realised that it was always me arranging lunches, drinks etc. so I stepped back. We don’t see each other as much any more. Every time we do chat, she always promises to arrange something. The last time was 2 years ago and I’m still waiting.
I also had a friend who was an ex-coworker. The same thing applied, except she was flaky in cancelling last-minute and never suggest alternative dates. She’d also have strong ideas about every single detail of any meet up we’d have. She’s never arrange anything herself, but she’d always demand that things be her way. Same thing: I stopped making the effort and the only time I hear from her is the odd message a few times a year telling me she misses me. But she doesn’t miss me enough to arrange drinks or dinner or lunch.
You should wait a week or two and then text them first saying the same thing just to see what happens
Heres a change of perspective. How about making your female friends feel wanted by reaching out often and starting conversations even short ones frequently. Find one who does reciprocate your energy, until then just gotta keep chatting and see whos interested.
They aren’t your friends. They just like the attention.
I communicate these issues with them and stop hanging out if they remain uninvested.
If the friendship feels one-sided, it’s okay to let it fade. Mutual effort is a basic respect..
Earlier i had this feeling but at some point i came to peace with this. I tend to see such people more as children and not adults. Some people are living their lives in an extremely reactionary way. They would just sit at home on the weekend if nobody offers to do something. Of course it is not an attractive trait but if there is something that balances that out in this relationship it is fine.