TIFU by hearing an intruder while dog sitting.

Picture this: you’re dog sitting for friends. They have a wiiiide open land. Big ass house. You’re alone, and have anxiety.

The dogs sleeping in the room with you bark, at 2am. You startle awake, and listen to what’s happening. There is movement outside. Every so often, there is thudding and a scattering noise, as if someone is making their way through the house looking to steal shit. The owner of the house is pretty well off, and has a lot of very valuable stuff.

You believe that this house is the victim of burglary.

You call so so so many people in a panic in your room. You’re not sure what to do- go out and look? Call 911? Run out swinging your 40oz water bottle wildly in self defense? Lay in wait while whoever is in the house gets closer?

The dogs starts chewing a bone, giving away your location.

You hear the thudding get closer and closer. Whoever’s moving is working their way to you. The dogs are unnaturally calm.

You call non emergency dispatch. They send out F I V E cop cars. When the cops arrive, you walk out from the side porch with your hands up. They sound annoyed.

You let them in through the room you’re stationed in, having to secure the dogs in the bathroom because the cop says he “doesn’t feel safe around them”. You do not want the dogs to get shot. Your heart is beating a million miles an hour. Why you, why now, why must the dogs be going so crazy? The cops make their way through the house. You wait on the porch at their direction. After a torturous few minutes, they gather together with you. The most annoyed of the group (the one that’s scared of the dogs) goes:

“it’s highly likely that that skittering and thudding you hear across the floors is gonna be the roomba.”

Congratulations, you’ve worried your mother, boyfriend, and father, riled up the dogs, and wasted an hour of the cops and dispatchers time.

TL;DR: called the cops on an intruder while housesitting. The intruder was a fucking roomba.