If you are unhappy alone, you are going to be unhappy in a relationship because you are still you. Relationships won’t fix that. That’s the job for incremental changes over a sustained period of time. Yes I am paraphrasing the Romano Tours SNL skit, but it is actually just good advice on a comedy show of all things.
It seems like some modern faux-philosophical spin on “don’t make big decisions when you’re emotional,” which on its face seems like good advice.
But here’s the thing: Being in an unusual mental/physical/financial/emotional state can actually HELP humans see outside their boundaries. We get very used to living within our little box, and sometimes it takes things that “weaken” us to snap out of that.
So no, I don’t think this necessarily applies in all cases. I think sometimes when you’re scrambling to “make it,” the partner you happen to find amidst that process forges a bond with you that is priceless.
Love finds you when it finds you. If you turn love down just because you’re not at your best, there’s no guarantee it’ll come around once you have your shit together
“Don’t pick a partner when you don’t want the best for them.” This could be when you are in a Situation with hurted feelings and just want someone to use for your well-being.
This sounds like something a manosphere-poisoned person on YouTube would say. People obsessed with power dynamics and always wanting to project power and strength and masculinity, always wanting to operate from a position of strength & leverage.
Meanwhile back in reality, it’s fine to meet a partner when you’re not at your best. You meet people when you meet them.
If someone meets you when you’re down and they still dig you and still treat you with respect, you don’t need to panic about the fact that you’re not operating from a position of strength in that moment. If anything, you can rest easy knowing this is someone who glimpsed the less impressive side of you and had no qualms with it. They aren’t someone who will expect perfection and strength every second with the threat of leaving you looming if you ever have a weak moment.
How would that be bad? They’re not forcing unfavorable terms on you to somehow capitalize on the fact that you’re in a weaker moment, are they? If they are, they’re a whole big stew of issues and there’s a dozen reasons (having nothing to do with your weakness or strength) you should avoid them and their fucked up mindset.
A less harsher take would be “Work on yourself before looking for someone else”. You can’t take care of other people if you can’t take care of yourself
I’m always weak, sooo nah. I get the sentiment, but if you meet a helping hand willing to lift you up again ? sounds like a kind soul, a good option to choose anyways
Its a sentiment held mostly by the strong and self-hating weak people
I have some chronic issues that make me weaker than the average person, physically and mentally. My choices are work with being weak and try to compensate, or stay alone.
It depends on the kind of “weak”. If you’re weak for some snatch, yeah, DON’T pick a partner. But say your dog and mom just died and you find a woman who lets you cry it out and, more importantly, still wants to be with you, well, she’s a keeper.
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First time I hear that…
Just a good rule of thumb for life. Don’t make potentially life altering decisions when you’re not emotionally or mentally sound.
What a weird thing to say.
Most men don’t have the luxury of having partners to choose from when they’re at their lowest.
I have no idea why this made my mind go like “why do they kick you when you’re down”
If you are unhappy alone, you are going to be unhappy in a relationship because you are still you. Relationships won’t fix that. That’s the job for incremental changes over a sustained period of time. Yes I am paraphrasing the Romano Tours SNL skit, but it is actually just good advice on a comedy show of all things.
Can you explain excatcly what that means
I’m an old man and have never heard this before.
It seems like some modern faux-philosophical spin on “don’t make big decisions when you’re emotional,” which on its face seems like good advice.
But here’s the thing: Being in an unusual mental/physical/financial/emotional state can actually HELP humans see outside their boundaries. We get very used to living within our little box, and sometimes it takes things that “weaken” us to snap out of that.
So no, I don’t think this necessarily applies in all cases. I think sometimes when you’re scrambling to “make it,” the partner you happen to find amidst that process forges a bond with you that is priceless.
It ain’t for them to deal with.
Idk man, I married the woman that stayed with me through major depression. Not sure that counts though.
It’s the same advice as don’t make life altering decisions immediately after losing a loved one.
You’re not in the best state of mind to be making decisions when your self esteem is low.
Sounds like it means “Make sure you have a sound mind and heart when making big decisions.”
Love finds you when it finds you. If you turn love down just because you’re not at your best, there’s no guarantee it’ll come around once you have your shit together
“Don’t pick a partner when you don’t want the best for them.” This could be when you are in a Situation with hurted feelings and just want someone to use for your well-being.
This sounds like something a manosphere-poisoned person on YouTube would say. People obsessed with power dynamics and always wanting to project power and strength and masculinity, always wanting to operate from a position of strength & leverage.
Meanwhile back in reality, it’s fine to meet a partner when you’re not at your best. You meet people when you meet them.
If someone meets you when you’re down and they still dig you and still treat you with respect, you don’t need to panic about the fact that you’re not operating from a position of strength in that moment. If anything, you can rest easy knowing this is someone who glimpsed the less impressive side of you and had no qualms with it. They aren’t someone who will expect perfection and strength every second with the threat of leaving you looming if you ever have a weak moment.
How would that be bad? They’re not forcing unfavorable terms on you to somehow capitalize on the fact that you’re in a weaker moment, are they? If they are, they’re a whole big stew of issues and there’s a dozen reasons (having nothing to do with your weakness or strength) you should avoid them and their fucked up mindset.
A less harsher take would be “Work on yourself before looking for someone else”. You can’t take care of other people if you can’t take care of yourself
I’m always weak, sooo nah. I get the sentiment, but if you meet a helping hand willing to lift you up again ? sounds like a kind soul, a good option to choose anyways
Its a sentiment held mostly by the strong and self-hating weak people
I have some chronic issues that make me weaker than the average person, physically and mentally. My choices are work with being weak and try to compensate, or stay alone.
It depends on the kind of “weak”. If you’re weak for some snatch, yeah, DON’T pick a partner. But say your dog and mom just died and you find a woman who lets you cry it out and, more importantly, still wants to be with you, well, she’s a keeper.
Don’t make a lifetime decision if you’re not in the mental state to think it through.