I’m a 47-year-old woman. I’m writing because I am feeling sort of low, as though nothing will ever change. My relationship (of 13 years) is a good one. I am successful in my career. My (male) partner and I never wanted children, and I do not regret it. But I feel as though the next thirty (or however many years I have) will be like the last decade, and this feels bad. I cannot see what could possibly change. I have lived in the same city my whole life and I don’t know where else I would live. While for decades I felt I was shooting for something, my ambition has slackened. I don’t know what there is to look forward to. I used to be someone whose life changed around a lot, but that seemed to stop.
I feel an edgy feeling sometimes where I think only if I destroyed my life could I come into a better place, but I also don’t really believe that that’s the best path (though maybe it is??). I wonder if this age represents a natural down-turn in a person’s life, where things sort of plateau, and all you were working towards reveals itself, and then you have it: a life.
I consider myself a lucky and fortunate person. I wonder if anyone else had this feeling around this age, and what happened next: did you become single, find a new partner, and become happier? Did you do this and regret it? Did you just hold tight and feel increasing gratitude with your life and partner over the years? I don’t know whether to consider myself old or young. I would appreciate any thoughts for getting through this time and going on to be happier in the coming years. I know age 49 is statistically the hardest time in life for people. Thanks!
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First love
Broken hip
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Well, a once every hundred year global health tragedy/crisis happened a year after I turned 50 so that was new.
My life is different than yours but when I turned 50 I decided if I had to deal with it so did everyone else in my life; but with that came responsibility on my part to change if I was expecting other people to respect me more.
That’s all I’ve got, I didn’t follow a traditional trajectory and in the end I have a nice and flexible life, which really came in handy in the long run. I embraced and became more proud of that.
Since I turned 50 I changed up my exercise routine, picked up gardening as a hobby, moved and had to rethink my new dwelling and started volunteering at a thrift store and turns out I have a knack for marketing, merchandising and personal shopping. Quite a bit of new.
My friends began to die.
Moved to a new city, met my now husband, got married, got promoted, bought 2 condos and 2 homes. I was a late bloomer.
When was the last time you set a big goal for yourself? Can you train for a marathon, do some bucket list travel, learn a new language, anything that will give you a positive sense of the future and a sense of gain/accomplishment?
84m. I’ve been doing this: Natural Stress Relief/USA twice-daily for the past 47 years. It regulates the brain and nervous system by remote control.
This allows the buzz of daily stress to “evaporate” away so that the child-like joy of just being alive floods back in. The value of this technique lies in the regularity of its practice.
Got cancer & diabetes. Cancer has not reoccurred and diabetes is under control without medication.
At 50, I was 250lbs (5’11”), had a desk job, did not exercise and ate complete garbage.
Getting those diseases forced me to permanently change my life style. At 62, I am now 185lbs, exercise daily and eat healthy. I feel better now than I did when I was in my 20s.