Bit of a strange one, but I’m navigating something kind of tender and figured I’d ask the guys.
I’m in my early 30s and just had all my teeth removed after years of dental trauma. I’ll be without them for a couple of months while my gums heal enough for dentures. So far, only my roommates and the woman I caregive for know. I’ve been wearing a mask in public to cover it, but I’ve never been good at wearing masks—literal or otherwise—and I’m already tired of hiding.
It’s not about my close friends. I’m talking about the barista who knows my name, the woman I chat with at the dog park, the guy at the checkout who always compliments my dog. People who might notice something’s changed, but don’t know me well enough to ask. Do I make a joke? Say something? Let them wonder?
And then there’s the more vulnerable layer:
I’m calling in a husband. I want to build a family. And if I do run into someone who feels important during this healing chapter, I want to be able to show up as myself—even if that version is currently toothless and soup-sipping.
Because I still know who I am. I make incredible soup. I’ve got a great ass. I’m going to be a phenomenal wife and a playful, loving mom. And this little toothless phase? It might even come with one unexpected perk. (You know the one.)
So here’s what I want to know:
Would you still flirt with a woman you found beautiful if you noticed she had no teeth—without her saying anything?
Would it change how you see her? Would you say something? Would you still feel that spark?
Also—please help me come up with better jokes for when people do notice. So far I’ve tried:
• “Can’t chew, but I can charm.”
• “You should see the other guy.”
• “The tooth fairy took everything and ghosted me.”
But I need better material. Help a girl out.
Thanks for reading. And if you’ve ever had to move through the world while healing something visible, I’d love to hear how you handled it too.
Comments
Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/hijademimami’s post (if available):
Bit of a weird one, but here goes.
I’m in my early 30s and just had all my teeth removed after years of dental trauma. I’ll be toothless for a couple of months while my gums heal before I get dentures. Right now, only my roommates and the woman I caregive for know. I’ve been wearing a mask in public to cover it, but I’m not great at hiding, and I don’t want to feel like I’m constantly performing.
I’m not talking about close friends—I mean the barista, the woman at the dog park, the guy at the store who always compliments my dog. Casual people who don’t know me well but might notice something’s “off.” Do I say something? Make a joke? Let them wonder?
And here’s the vulnerable part:
I’m not dating right now, but I am calling in a husband. I want to build a family. So if the universe decides to drop someone amazing in front of me while I’m healing and soup-sipping, I want to be able to show up honestly. I want to know:
Would you still flirt with a woman you found beautiful if you realized she had no teeth?
Would you say something? Would you feel awkward? Would you still feel that spark?
Also, please drop your best joke suggestions. I’ve tried:
• “Can’t chew, but I can charm.”
• “You should see the other guy.”
• “The tooth fairy took everything and ghosted me.”
…But I’m running out of material.
Thanks for reading. I know this is kind of a strange one, but I’d genuinely love to hear your perspective.
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I think as long as you’d be straight up about it and the fact you’re getting dentures in time, I wouldn’t be bothered too badly.
Just be transparent about the situation; it’s temporary… not a deal breaker.
I don’t wanna get banned but there’s some other comments men may make coming to mind. Good luck !!
To be honest. This is purely based off of the people in my family and in laws…I would assume drug addict. It sucks that it is the first thing I think but that is the way it is sometimes. If you came out right away and explained then sure I would believe you.
I’d see what that mouth do
I’d silently wonder why she had no teeth. But wouldn’t ask because that’s a weird thing to ask about from someone you don’t know well.
> Would you still flirt with a woman you found beautiful if you realized she had no teeth? Would you say something? Would you feel awkward? Would you still feel that spark?
So you’re not asking how a guy would react if we saw a woman who visibly has no teeth, right? But more what we’d think if she was wearing dentures and we knew she had no teeth?*
Honestly, to me, it would probably not even cross my mind most of the time if I was with someone like that. A terrible joke or two my slip out sometimes but that might be it.
But I’d be much more interested in what caused the dental trauma in the first place, and it would for sure be the first thing I’d ask if a woman told me she had no teeth.
> I’m not dating right now, but I am calling in a husband.
Also… I’m just curious. What does it mean to not be dating but… to “call in a husband”?
* Edit: that distinction matters because I’m not entirely sure how I’d react if I went on a date with someone and she suddenly gave a huge toothless smile haha…
What does “calling in a husband” mean? Like you’re trying to manifest it?
unzips
“you should see the other guy” lmao
I’d silently wonder if gummers really are as awesome as people say they are, and finally be interested in finding out since it is someone not in her 80’s.
It wouldn’t be an issue. On same level as having a slight limp. Best wishes.
I married a woman who did not have her teeth. We got her a full set of dentures eventually. It wasnt a huge deal. Although she was very self conscious about it.
Ngl, I’ve never met anyone without any teeth. It’d be a bit weird until I get used to it.
I would like to say you sound like a fun and exciting person willing to run towards the roar. Continue to be unapologetically you, be brave, he’s looking for you too!
I mean why do u need to find a husband in the period of gum recovery? why can’t you just chill and let your gums recover before worrying about others.
I mean once you get dentures, you should be back to normal right?
I’d have questions. Like why do you not have any teeth? On the plus side, if things go well with that human trial in Japan, you might be able to regrow your teeth at some point. I think they are targeting 2030 for mass release assuming everything gets approved.
Personally wouldn’t bother me at all. The only reason I’d ever care about something like that is the concern about her dental health, but no teeth is better than rotting teeth. If I connect with her as either a friend or something more due to similar interests or I just like her personality, finding out she had no teeth wouldn’t make me see her any differently.
I dated a girl with dentures, we were both in our mid to late 20’s. It was pretty sick, she was really generous and it was incredible lol not meant to be for us. As a guy, when she told me about it, I didn’t care.
If you’re comfortable with it then go for it, but it will make a different first impression from one where you had teeth if dentures are only a couple months away I’d say pause the tinder for a few months but other than that it’s fine. The kind of dude that wants to get slopped by a toothless woman he just met probably isn’t husband material to be honest
When I did it, the dentist pulled all my back teeth, upper and lower. A couple weeks later, he pulled the rest of my teeth, and put my new dentures right on top of my raw gums. Sucked. 🙁
Manny years ago, I used to make dentures.
Once, I made a set for a 13yr old girl.
I may be a little biased here, but I wouldn’t particularly care. I’m missing a few myself (got in a fight with a steer).
Girl, why are you trying to date with no teeth? Can you not wait until you have your dentures?
I dunno probably ask some questions, raise my eyebrows once or thrice, and continue on the conversation like a normal person. 😆
If I weren’t gayly in love with my brosky Kim then yes I would flirt. Aside from the glorious zero risk of teeth lacerating my penis I would see her the same. Yes, I’m going to ask, especially since you mentioned trauma. Me feeling a spark has nothing to do with appearances and teeth; For that is dependent on her personality, behavior, and hobbies.
It would be surprising certainly, but i would probably just assume you had an injury or were getting teeth work done.
If you made a good joke out of it I’d probably laugh hysterically, would definitely break the tension. There are Def some guys who would be wicked fuckin weird about it, but that should help you filter out some duds if anything.
It’s not like I’ll know if you have dentures or normal teeth. But probably wait till you have dentures.
Personally not an issue. It’s temporary, like braces, or recovery after surgery.
I will be completely honest: I find not having teeth a turn off. That doesn’t mean you’re not a person. I will respond to your jokes. I will still try to get you to laugh. I will still want to talk to you like a normal person, but I won’t be asking for your number.
…then again I’ve been married for 26 years so that wasn’t going to happen anyway.
Wouldn’t bother me at all. I don’t tend to hold these kind of medical or cosmetic things against anyone. It’s often how we handle the cards life deals us that makes us who we are. There are probably people out there who, not only won’t care, but will appreciate the ways in which you’ve decided to not let it keep you down when so many people would absolutely retreat from life over something not being ideal.
And if I’m being real… I’d also see it as 100% positive upside, as your partner, if you made a point of often utilizing the special perk available to you now. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, you could be God Tier in theory.
I try to be completely neutral with all new people that i meet. But no teeth is a big deal. As much as I try to reserve judgment and I always think about how any given person is fighting one battle or another; this one would be hard for me personally to overlook.
My partner has a bunch of teeth missing due to an accident at work. It did not change how I feel about them and was not an issue.
Some people will have questions. Some people may make assumptions about you using drugs.
My oldest sister who I dont speak to has been doing meth for years. She has lost her teeth due to that.
Be honest and up front about any one you date. Its probably not a huge deal.
I REALLY thought you were gonna go with “I can’t chew, but I swallow.” Missed opportunity really =D
tbh you sound like a kickass person with a good personality, the right man won’t care you have dentures or not (might even end up having fun with it…yenno).
If someone asks just tell them your turning into a hip hop artist and getting gold teeth XD
Always wondered what a gumjob would feel like 😁