I come over to their house to bring over something I had bought earlier that day. All is fine until I come into the home and am met with their dog. While I’ve never had problems with him in particular, I personally feel that he is very badly behaved around guests. Upon coming in he starts barking and jumping all over me. While im not a fan, I essentially say hi and move forward into interacting with my partner. The entire time my partner and I are conversing, hes sniffing me in areas that make me feel mildly uncomfortable. After a while of either of us speaking he goes and pees on a carpet in the hallway. He also proceeds to lick it up. Immediately following this he runs to another carpet and shits on it, licking his anus to seemingly clean it.
He then starts trying to lick my legs and hands while im standing there. I lightly guide him out of my general area of space or simply move out of where he is. However he continues to follow. Eventually we all end up in my partners room. The moment I sit down he jumps on me with untrimmed paws and not only scratches my leg but starts trying to lick my face. I place him back on the ground and he immediately doubles back scratching my leg once more and attempting to lick my face again. This time I push him off of me with mild force. Due to our positioning there was a dresser adjacent to me and he hits the dresser on his way down. He’s not visibly hurt whatsoever and essentially goes back to doing whatever he wanted to do.
I decide its time for me to leave and see myself out. My partner and I then discuss after the fact. While I do apologize for shoving the dog I raise the argument that I feel the dog is terribly trained and that it is my partners job to make sure he isnt jumping all over people especially trying to lick someone’s face after also licking up urine and feces.
A bit of additional information: I am a germaphobe hence why I was so adamant about getting the dog to not lick my face. The dog breed itself is a husky german shepherd mix but hes the runt of the litter so hes smaller than average. After the fact I stated that I feel entirely justified in what I did and that id only be willing to apologize for shoving with mild force as it would have never come down to that if the dog had been properly trained around guests.
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I come over to their house to bring over something I had bought earlier that day. All is fine until I come into the home and am met with their dog. While I’ve never had problems with him in particular, I personally feel that he is very badly behaved around guests. Upon coming in he starts barking and jumping all over me. While im not a fan, I essentially say hi and move forward into interacting with my partner. The entire time my partner and I are conversing, hes sniffing me in areas that make me feel mildly uncomfortable. After a while of either of us speaking he goes and pees on a carpet in the hallway. He also proceeds to lick it up. Immediately following this he runs to another carpet and shits on it, licking his anus to seemingly clean it.
He then starts trying to lick my legs and hands while im standing there. I lightly guide him out of my general area of space or simply move out of where he is. However he continues to follow. Eventually we all end up in my partners room. The moment I sit down he jumps on me with untrimmed paws and not only scratches my leg but starts trying to lick my face. I place him back on the ground and he immediately doubles back scratching my leg once more and attempting to lick my face again. This time I push him off of me with mild force. Due to our positioning there was a dresser adjacent to me and he hits the dresser on his way down. He’s not visibly hurt whatsoever and essentially goes back to doing whatever he wanted to do.
I decide its time for me to leave and see myself out. My partner and I then discuss after the fact. While I do apologize for shoving the dog I raise the argument that I feel the dog is terribly trained and that it is my partners job to make sure he isnt jumping all over people especially trying to lick someone’s face after also licking up urine and feces.
A bit of additional information: I am a germaphobe hence why I was so adamant about getting the dog to not lick my face. The dog breed itself is a husky german shepherd mix but hes the runt of the litter so hes smaller than average. After the fact I stated that I feel entirely justified in what I did and that id only be willing to apologize for shoving with mild force as it would have never come down to that if the dog had been properly trained around guests.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe i may be the asshole because i pushed my partners dog off of me and as a result it started and argument. 1. Pushing my partner’s dog off of me 2. Because pushing a dog off of you can be seen in many different lights
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA.
People who don’t train their dogs properly do their dogs a disservice, and also every other person in the dog’s life.
No, you’re not the asshole. You respected the space, the dog, and your partner, and only reacted after your boundaries were repeatedly crossed. You didn’t hurt the dog, just pushed it off after it scratched you and tried to lick you following some very unhygienic behavior. As a germaphobe, your reaction was understandable. Your partner should have stepped in and managed their dog. You even apologized for the shove, which shows maturity. You’re justified in feeling frustrated, and it’s fair to expect better behavior from both the dog and your partner.
NTA – I love dogs, but I don’t always love dog owners! That home is unsanitary and the dog is extremely poorly trained. If your partner doesn’t want to put in the work to train their dog, the least they could do is put the dog in a separate area when they have guests over.
NTA
I bet that place smells great.
NTA.
Not only are you NTA but I’d have that dog put down.
NTA for pushing the dog off of you, though I do wonder how as an admitted germaphobe you’d want to be in a relationship with someone that seems to not care that their dog is peeing and pooping all over their house. I would be out of that relationship so fast.
I prefer dogs to people so YTA.
NTA. But you and your partner are doomed long-term.
NTA
And this was incredibly gross to read, yuck. I love dogs, I do not love dog owners who let their dogs piss and shit in the house and certainly not eat it! wtf this was disgusting, wish I hadn’t read it
NTA I love all animals, but an untrained dog is a no-go for me. I already live in a house with two individuals, both with a large dog, one Rott and the other a Great Dane, and neither are civilized beasts. The Rott is, but she has impulse issues, and barks whenever her mortal enemy, the Dane, goes up and down the stairs to be let in/let out into the backyard. Not only does the Rott bark and body slam into the door like she’s a part of the SWAT team, but the Dane barks literally. Every. Single. Day, Morning, Noon, and Night. At what? I don’t know, but this giant hellhound is a barking fiend once she’s out in the backyard, and I have to put up with this because the rent is $450. I bloody hate it here 😡
NTA, I regularly shove my own dog away with my knee when she starts trying to inhale my crotch and she doesn’t care. It’s absolutely not normal for any healthy adult dog to pee and poop in the house, and I’d seriously reconsider being with someone who doesn’t teach their dog these basic skills.
INFO: what did your partner say about it? You didn’t describe any conflict or anything that they said to you.
NTA side note though is your partner giving the dog water? Dogs don’t normally drink their own pee it sounds like the dog needs a new owner and you need a new partner
I can’t imagine casually disregarding the fact that my dog was not only pissing and shitting indoors but also consuming it. I’d nope out of this relationship so fast I’d leave a dust cloud.
The poor dog…. Dump the partner, take the dog and train him. (I know this isn’t going to happen. It’s what I would want to do as a trainer.)
NTA but you and your partner and his dog are not compatible long term. It’s going to cause major issues in your relationship which is evident just in the tone of this post.
You’re not the AH. Whatever you do, don’t blame the dog because it was never trained, that’s on your boyfriend and family.
Your partner needs to train his dog.
NTA
Why are you, a germophobe, in a relationship with someone with a very unsanitary dog and living arrangements?
NTA. I work with animals and untrained dogs are the worst. However, this dog seems TOO untrained. Why is it not housebroken? That’s literally basic training. Also super gross, even to people who aren’t germaphobes.
The dog sounds like he’s being neglected. Dogs can def be gross just for fun but something about this doesn’t sit right with me, does your partner adequately take care of him?
this is too unbelievable XD
A knee to the chest is a common way to stop jumping dogs. If the owner cant accept that an intrusive dog might get shoved away, it’s their problem.
You didn’t hurt the dog — you protected your personal space after he repeatedly crossed boundaries, especially given your germaphobia.
The real issue is lack of training and supervision — not your reaction.
Apologizing for the shove shows you’re reasonable, but you had every right to defend your space.