Went to a pool party where I knew exactly 3 people. One friend stayed sober, the other two were getting absolutely railed at opposite ends of the pool. I chugged a pint of Captain Morgan like it was Gatorade and promptly blacked out. Stripped completely naked, started doing underwater handstands like an unhinged circus seal — tampon string waving behind me like the American flag.
Then I climbed out, ripped that tampon out like a Beyblade, and launched it into a field like a feral raccoon. Got right back in to resume the aquatic gymnastics — all while my friends were still mid-dick.
Cut to Taco Bell: I’m in the passenger seat, puking into a Taco Bell bag, while the other two are twerking in the drive-thru for free tacos like it’s currency.
Woke up in a stranger’s bathroom, in a dog bed, bleeding through the night because my only tampon is now one with nature. My friends showed me the video footage. I can never return to that zip code again.
TL;DR: Got blackout drunk, stripped naked, exposed my tampon to an entire pool party, yeeted it into a field, puked in a Taco Bell bag, and woke up bleeding in a dog bed. 0/10 decision-making.
Comments
Moving is always an option.
riiiiiiight.
Sign to stop drinking
Chugging Captain Morgan always makes you do pirate activities
Sounds like you may be an alcoholic
“I can never return to that zip code again”
I’m not a huge fan of the 12 steps but working some kind of program might be something to consider.
This story sounds a bit bloated.
feetfinder, huh? This is spam.
A problem shared is a problem halved, maybe the same is true for the video?
Just need to post link to your OF now
So what prompt did you give ChatGPT for this one? “Write an absolutely scandalous, unrealistic bat-shit insane story for the “r/TIFU” subreddit”?
AI slop detected , post downvoted.
On a side note , what the fuck is this…
Sooo that’s your wake up call…
How old are you? I know it might sound wild, but this is rather tame compared to my late teens and early twenties with my friends, but we didn’t really record literally everything quite yet in the early 2010’s, glad you had a good time!
Are you free next weekend?
Couldn’t waterboard this info out of me