TIFU by trying to be romantic and letting the rooms loose

So yeah this happened last night and I honestly still don’t wanna talk to my girlfriend.

We just moved in together like a week ago and I thought I’d be all sweet and plan a chill spa night at home. You know, candles, rose petals, music, little foot soak thing. Real Pinterest-core. Thought it’d be a nice surprise when she got back from work.

So I clean up the living room real good, vacuum, tidy everything, all that. Then I sprinkle rose petals around like some kind of romcom guy and light a bunch of candles. Lookin real cute honestly. Before I leave the room to finish setting up the drinks and snacks, I get the genius idea to run the Roomba one more time. Thought it’d make everything extra fresh. Set it to run and dipped out.

Yeah.

So what I forgot was that our 17 year old cat had a bit of an incident earlier. Like a little poop surprise in the corner of the room. I thought I cleaned it all. Apparently not.

Roomba found it. Roomba did not like it. Or maybe Roomba liked it too much. I come back 10 minutes later and the whole place looks like someone lost a food fight with a diaper. Poop smeared everywhere. All over the floor, the rose petals, the rug. It somehow got a chunk on the wall. The Roomba is just spinning slowly in the middle of it all like it knows what it did.

And two of the candles got knocked over so now there’s wax on the rug. One of the petals caught a little flame but luckily fizzled out.

Girlfriend walks in right then. Sees the mess. Sees me.

I panic and just go “it was supposed to be sexy”

We didn’t do spa night. We did shame cleaning. Silent poop wax rage cleaning.

TL;DR: tried to be romantic, forgot cat pooped, Roomba painted with it, entire night went to hell