I could really use some advice from some other guys right now, with the state of the world, I swing from despair to rage over current events, and sometimes I feel like there’s no point in living anymore, that even at 21 I don’t have a hope for any type of future. I can’t do anything about the horrible shit that happens but I can’t just shut that out of my mind and move on. How do you/did you overcome the overthinking and depression that you may of had?
How do you fellow men keep going without giving up?
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I could really use some advice from some other guys right now, with the state of the world, I swing from despair to rage over current events, and sometimes I feel like there’s no point in living anymore, that even at 21 I don’t have a hope for any type of future. I can’t do anything about the horrible shit that happens but I can’t just shut that out of my mind and move on. How do you/did you overcome the overthinking and depression that you may of had?
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Turn off the news.
Get off social media. Invest in yourself and your hobbies. Might require a dopamine reset.
A combination of self-discipline and hard headedness. With a dash of willful disobedience thrown in for good measure.
Unplug yourself from current events of the world. If you feel the weight of the world is too much, unburden yourself with therapy or someone you trust. And remember, we’ve all been there.
I’d say have a pet, it’s kept me going.
Turn the news off, most of it is just click bait. Just look around you locally to see that the world is 90% in working condition. If at all possible have a look outside of your comfort zone in your country of residence, meaning if you are in the EU or US, get to South America or Asia, you will see that 99% of the problems you think there are, aren’t there.
I come from The Netherlands where “everyone” is going batshit crazy about multiple crisis that no one even heard of in Asia.
A year outside your bubble is so refreshing you might never want to go back in.
Stop the news, stop social media, focus on your own life and connections with partner/friends/your work.
Godspeed young man, the world is a big place most of it is nice.
As others have said, get off social media, turn off the news. Go for a hike, hang out with a friend, get a beer, pet a dog, play some video games, read a book, do what you love. It’ll help keep your spirits up.
Basically take time for yourself.
Keep your back straight and keep walking. Every time there’s flowers, smell them too
These days, I don’t focus on what’s going around me so much anymore. I try to focus on one day at a time. Work, save money, continue paying my bills, and deal with problems as they arise. It’s helped me through a lot. Having the goal of buying a house keeps me going. Seems impossible now, but regardless of whether or not I try, time will still pass. It’s better to have spent that time doing something rather than nothing.
Reducing triggers helps considerably, especially when it comes to stress or anxiety related to things you can do nothing about. Recently, for the first time in my life, I disengaged from all social media and news for about 4 months. I removed everything from my phone except for text messages and email. It had a profoundly positive impact on my overall mental state. I’ve since returned somewhat, for example I’ll put Reddit on for a few days then take it off again for a few weeks and I’ve started visiting non-polarized news websites like Reuters or the Associated Press so I’m not completely in the dark, although only for a few moments every other day. Try and locate the triggers, and do what you can to remove them.
Its hard but the best things you can do is just put everything down, instead of scrolling, go rolling, buy a skateboard, adopt a pet, I wish you the best.
What’s the problem?
Find one thing that’s bugging you and find a way to fix it- or avoid it, or reform your attitude about it. Rinse and repeat for each little tiny mundane problem that seems like it might actually have a solution. Rejoice in these small victories. Manage whatever you can, make small sustainable improvements that build upon each other. Make resilient networks. Learn to communicate better, write out your frustrations and confusions.
“Overthinking is the biggest waste of human energy. Trust yourself, make a decision, and gain more experience. There is no such thing as perfect. You cannot think your way into perfection, just take action.” – Sylvester McNutt
I understand your pain of wanting to change the world and do more. That’s what every person who enters the real world immediately is met with. But the reality is life will continue to move forward. I’m not saying ignore your passion for wanting to change the world. But don’t sacrifice your current age for the uncontrollable
If you have a couple of hours to spare, lay back and listen to this.. Trust me, just listen to this.
Im 26, without my parents I’d be living with them or homeless. I have CPTSD, called off my wedding 8 months ago, borderline personality disorder, and panic disorder.
The key is to keep it one day at a time, tomorrow is another day, and you never know what can happen. Yesterday was bad? Maybe today will be good.
I like to believe in karma, too, that I suffer sometimes so I can experience pleasure, and in my life, it seems to work well.
I’m 25 and what I did was stop looking at the news, all it did was get me worked up over things I can’t control. If something is important enough someone else will tell me. Another thing about the news is that they love to spread stories about bad things since it gets more views and causes people to doom scroll. Things are usually better than they seem. Also look at some positive facts about the era we live in. For example, less people today live in extreme poverty than ever in human history.
Turn off the news. Find something you enjoy, take some time for yourself. Breathe, relax. The world is messed up and full of problems. Always has been. It’s not your responsibility to fix them. You can’t fix everything. All you can do is be a net positive influence to the world, and hopefully end up putting more good than bad into it by the end.
Sometimes you just go to work, come home, have a beer, make a fire, listen to some music, call your dad, do some dishes, and read a book. And that’s enough. That’s life. And that’s all you’re expected to do. Someone needs help, you help them. Someone needs cheering up you make them laugh. Someone needs a ride, you give it. And you just live.
Turn off the news, get out of those community groups, get some therapy. Find some hobbies, touch some grass.
The number of people that do nothing but watch a doom scrolled loop of negativity is appalling. gotta break that cycle. get you a podcast for current events limit your intake on it because they want to OVERWHELM you with negativity. Set a hard boundary for content intake and control what you can. lastly find ways to give back to others regularly.
As for me? I got a family man. Giving up ain’t an option.
This is going to sound corny but …
the first step is to get away from the “news” most of it is designed to illicit an extreme emotional response they aren’t just giving you the facts it’s all heavily colored by their networks opinions.
As your moving away from all of this manufactured drama I then recommend religion. For me the ritual and fellowship that comes from my faith along with the guidelines for how to live my life helps to keep me centered. So for me that has been Roman Catholicism but I encourage you to investigate and find something that makes the most sense to you and helps you grow the most.
Now you’ve removed the distraction of impending doom and have switched your focus internally now it’s time to flesh out with studies in simple philosophy like stoicism and add to this new internal discipline you’ve developed physical self discipline exercise and routine can do wonders for mental health.
If after implementing all of this or if you find implementing this to be too much then see a psychiatrist and get your blood work done as well. See if there is a chemical or genetic element to how you feel and see what they recommend to help you counter it.
Also build and maintain a close group of male friends IRL that can help push you to grow and will check in on you if you start to backslide. And keep up and maintain hobbies. You may find that as you focus more on yourself that you have more energy to help others and improve the world around you.
Sorry for the brick of text but I hope this was helpful
I’m a fan of history. People have lived through much worse “current events”.
You now have access to all the knowledge of the human race. AI to help you take advantage of it.
You can go to the Dentist.
Just worry about yourself, once you are happy with you only then do you start worrying about anything else
GTA 6
I feel you on lacking hope, but just try to focus on the now. Find things you enjoy and just be present.
Thinking too much about the future can be unhealthy :/
Focus on your nutrition and exercise.
Much like monitoring caloric intake, i try to monitor and cut out content that isn’t beneficial for me (insta/youtube algorithm maintenance and dropping anything remotely negative or divisive).
Focus on a hobby or make your content algorithm work for you (e.g., I’ve been watching videos on the history of the universe and biology and also cooking/recipe vids, as they’re all passions of mine) and get plenty of sleep (i also listen to frequency music while I sleep to help relax me and its nice to wake up to as well).
Hang in there, brother. If you put in the time to maintain the garden that is your mental state, you’ll see how beautiful the colours can be.
You can’t do anything about the shit going on, lets grant that as true.
Is anyone who can currently 21? Or are they 50, 60, 70, 80 etc?
If you give up now, you won’t be in a position in 30, 40, 50, 60 years to do anything either.
So focus on where you want to end up and work each day to get just a little bit closer to being someone who can do something about it.
Hey, very relatable.. I just keep doing something.. whatever, physical, mental activity I find.. work related or not..
Not doing anything > Overthinking > Depression
Break the cycle, just do something
When i feel like shit and want to give up i sometimes go pretty far down the give up rabbit hole. Then i eventually realize i feel even worse then before so i find a way to drag myself out which can be fucking brutal sometimes. Then if i do get some progress i remind myself the next time i want to give up that giving up actually makes me feel worse and pulling myself up is harder than staying afloat. I don’t always listen to myself and find myself giving up again sometimes but so far ive always eventually realized live is better when i try on at least small things or in small ways.
Who says I haven’t given up?
Let that shit galvanize you bro. Tempered by fire. The trials you are going through right now are training for the rest of your life.
My life up to this point has been absolutely fucking brutal. I don’t know how I have kept going. But I am. Set goals for yourself and dont let anything stand in your way. Also one of the biggest things I have learned is that if you’re in a rut, change the scenery. Where you live, what you do, or even just your approach to your daily life. If you are not fulfilled, then something isnt quite right. Figure out what the something is and change it
All you can do is affect the world around you, be as good a person as you can be. You can work towards being someone who can change the world, but that’s rare.
There is absolutely no use in stressing about things that you have absolutely no control over, when there are so many other things that you do have control over that deserve your attention.
Giving up won’t make anything better, but it’ll destroy any chances that it will. Trying doesn’t guarantee success but not trying guarantees failure and misery so it’s the only option. Your life is all you have and we don’t know what comes after, may as well at least try to make the ride worth it, otherwise it is all truly just a waste.
Mom and little brother would be sad
Well, what has worked best for me has been taking action on any pending task, going out of the house and having interactions with friends or making new ones, having real conversations, creating and maintaining your social network / support network. The later network of friends is what I call my chosen family. Them or your real family in close contact is most important for your motivation, your balance and for aligning yourself to your identity and goals.
The other very important thing to do is to exercise, to be more physical. Once you spend that mental anxiety on some physical activity, either a hobby or sport, or simply going to the gym, it’ll really help on keeping you in a better emotional and mental state. 💪🏻
You’re very young, keep your head and chest up, and go and get what you want, you best years are just ahead of you. Believe me.
Don’t worry about the things you can’t control and focus on the things you can control.
First, tune out the word. Click, shut that crap off. You won’t do anything about it because it is to big of a problem for just you.
Turn your focus inward and radiate out from there. What good can you do for yourself. What good can you do for your family to help them or make their lives easier. What about your friends? How can you help them. What about your neighbors? What do they need help with? Do you even know? Go find out. Then start reaching out to the community to help people in need. Lean into religion if that makes sense for you.
There is very little impact that you can do on the world stage until after you have made a noticeable impact on everything else around you. Consider your community your people. When those big issues impact your people, you join them in fighting back.
And even if the world is falling apart. You can make a real impact to real people just like yourself.
As everyone points out turn off the news. Most of it is unimportant though I still follow the business stuff.
I think of life as a game and you have to slog or grind through to get to the other side. But even as you’re dealing with the monotony and minutiae of life, you’re still growing but at a slower pace. One day you will be aware that you’re making decisions and they are correct. This is from instinct and experience. So go forth and grow old. You too can become wise beyond your years. You’ll still have to wash the dishes and do your laundry.
you just have to be really, really selfish. Just care about yourself, fuck everything and everyone else. And you have to learn to not give a shit about things.
I’m still breathing, means I’m still worth something.
Maybe you need to get offline then and touch grass. I’m not even trying to be hyperbolic. If the weight of a world that isn’t directly even affecting you is too much for you to bear, then there’s no harm in distancing yourself from it. Find hobbies. Go to the library and read books. Volunteer your time. Learn to do new shit.
The bottom line is that social media has turned everyone into half-narcissistic bots who believe that their opinions NEED to matter. This fuels the hyper-individualistic assholes who are currently running things. Sorry, but your opinions don’t really matter that much, and if you want your actions to matter, then go find a charity and help them out. If you’ve got free time to whine about shit on the internet, then you’ve got time to do other things.
I’m 35, here’s some advice, take it or leave it, all up to you. Nihilism isn’t going to get you very far. Deep deeeeeep down, we all know that life has no inherent meaning. There is no God. I mean come on, explain to me why babies die. Why good people suffer so much. Yeah, case closed I’d say. The whole point is to be the reason why people forget the bad shit going on. Be cool, positive, hopeful. That will get you far. Not in just the world but within yourself. Anger will destroy a man. I’ve seen it firsthand.
Some of my “angriest “ temperament wise friends are still single, childless, and no real relationship in years. Women don’t want that. My friends who are doing the best on the surface, have a LTR, kids, etc. are the kind, stable, calm dudes who never start fights, you get it.
You’re super young man, try to be the change the world needs. Even if it’s just you impacting your close family and friends, it’ll cause a ripple effect.
Just get a gf, tbh. Shit takes the edge off. If I’m not where I want to be by the time I’m 35, I’m ending it. Until then, I’m doing everything in my power to end up where I wanna be.
I just think to myself “it can’t always stay this bad, can it? It has to get better eventually, right?”
And honestly, it kind of has. My life isn’t great by any means, but it’s a hell of a lot better than it was 10 years ago. Usually don’t even notice it because I’m still constantly worrying about the issues I have right now, but I’m in a much better place than I used to be. And I didn’t really have any crazy accomplishments or anything, just a bunch of small things that happened here or there that have started to add up and a combination of hoping things would get better and being to scared to die lol.
And like I said before, my life isn’t great, it actually still kind of sucks lol, but when I compare it to how it used to be it gives me a little more hope and determination to keep on going and see how much better it can get.
Through pure audacity and cheek.
The same impudence that lands us in detention is the same reason we keep pigheadedly disrespecting life’s limitations.