So I am currently in College and my brother got married few years ago. I decided to visit him during my vacations and then he revealed something I didn’t expected.
So my elder brother has been married for a few years now. Both he and his wife have full-time jobs with equal working hours, but the reality is he earns almost 7 times more than her. Despite that, he has never once made an issue out of it. He takes care of all the expenses at home i.e. rent, electricity, groceries, clothes, trips, gifts, everything you can think of. Even her personal stuff like jewellery and salon visits is covered by him. He has never questioned her about what she does with her own income because he believes that in a marriage you shouldn’t start counting who is paying what. Her pride is his pride. He always felt like it’s his responsibility to give her the best life he can.
But recently he asked her if she could help a little more with the household work because he’s been mentally and physically exhausted handling everything alone. Her reaction was quite unexpected. She told him he was being sexist and said that just because he earns more doesn’t mean she should do more at home. She kept saying that both of them work equal hours so it’s unfair to expect her to contribute more to the housework. My brother calmly tried to explain that it’s not about earning more or less but about supporting each other as partners. Even then, she told him that he only started helping with chores because she pointed it out and that otherwise he would’ve never done it on his own.
She even said it’s his job to take care of the finances because he is the man of the house. That’s when he truly felt like they were thinking in two different directions. He asked her if he is expected to handle the finances just because of his gender, then wouldn’t it also be unfair to assume that she should not contribute at all to household responsibilities. She then changed the direction of the conversation and started talking about how society expects men to be the providers.
In the end, when he opened up to her and said he is genuinely emotionally exhausted and feeling completely drained, she softened and said they can fix it and she will start helping more. But now he is unsure whether he can trust that promise or not. He loves her, no doubt about that, but he is tired. Tired of doing everything, handling every financial and emotional responsibility, and still being made to feel like the problem. He doesn’t expect a perfect 50-50 relationship, just a bit of support. He wants a partner, not someone who picks and chooses when to talk about equality.
My SIL considers herself a Feminist but is she truly considers herself one then how she can make statment like it’s a man duty to provide? Like seriously.
My brother was seriously looking exhausted while he was narrating all this to me.
So I want your opinions in this case.
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/ad_itya8901’s post (if available):
So I am currently in College and my brother got married few years ago. I decided to visit him during my vacations and then he revealed something I didn’t expected.
So my elder brother has been married for a few years now. Both he and his wife have full-time jobs with equal working hours, but the reality is he earns almost 7 times more than her. Despite that, he has never once made an issue out of it. He takes care of all the expenses at home i.e. rent, electricity, groceries, clothes, trips, gifts, everything you can think of. Even her personal stuff like jewellery and salon visits is covered by him. He has never questioned her about what she does with her own income because he believes that in a marriage you shouldn’t start counting who is paying what. Her pride is his pride. He always felt like it’s his responsibility to give her the best life he can.
But recently he asked her if she could help a little more with the household work because he’s been mentally and physically exhausted handling everything alone. Her reaction was quite unexpected. She told him he was being sexist and said that just because he earns more doesn’t mean she should do more at home. She kept saying that both of them work equal hours so it’s unfair to expect her to contribute more to the housework. My brother calmly tried to explain that it’s not about earning more or less but about supporting each other as partners. Even then, she told him that he only started helping with chores because she pointed it out and that otherwise he would’ve never done it on his own.
She even said it’s his job to take care of the finances because he is the man of the house. That’s when he truly felt like they were thinking in two different directions. He asked her if he is expected to handle the finances just because of his gender, then wouldn’t it also be unfair to assume that she should not contribute at all to household responsibilities. She then changed the direction of the conversation and started talking about how society expects men to be the providers.
In the end, when he opened up to her and said he is genuinely emotionally exhausted and feeling completely drained, she softened and said they can fix it and she will start helping more. But now he is unsure whether he can trust that promise or not. He loves her, no doubt about that, but he is tired. Tired of doing everything, handling every financial and emotional responsibility, and still being made to feel like the problem. He doesn’t expect a perfect 50-50 relationship, just a bit of support. He wants a partner, not someone who picks and chooses when to talk about equality.
My SIL considers herself a Feminist but is she truly considers herself one then how she can make statment like it’s a man duty to provide? Like seriously.
My brother was seriously looking exhausted while he was narrating all this to me.
So I want your opinions in this case.
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I think we can already see where it’s headed, don’t you?
I don’t know what feminism has to do with being a selfish leech but if all she has to give back is a bad attitude, it is time to remove this leech. Get a good woman instead.