Okay, so this happened a few months ago. I (26F) began working at an international university as a lecturer. From the beginning, the organization hasn’t been fantastic, to put it lightly.
We are in Germany, if that matters.
My coworker (30s M) has been here about 6 months longer than me. He’s also a lecturer, working on a part-time, and not making a huge amount of money. He’s working many hours in class, but the admin refused to change his contract from 50% to even 75%.
Anyway, one Monday he came to work super excited, and we had lunch together. Turns out him and his wife won in a lottery. Not the main prize, they’re not millionaires, but the win was something between 700k€ and 800k€ I believe. So really decent money.
He has still continued his job, as he genuinely likes teaching. Since the win, he has been more chill though. He’s clearly not as stressed as he used to be.
Sometime after he told me, our manager approached me and asked if I know what’s been going on with him. I just told her that no, what’s up. Didn’t really know what she was even talking about. Anyway, she then told me that one of our mutuals had overheard him telling me about the lottery win, and whether I knew anything about this. I said yes, he mentioned it.
My manager was quite upset, and told me that I should’ve informed her or someone in HR. I was confused, as what does his financial situation, and whether he’s poor or rich, have to do with his job performance, as he’s clearly doing well and one of the strongest lecturers in the department. My manager just, as a response, got really huffy and short-tempered, saying that she doesn’t believe it’s good to gatekeep this information from the staff.
So AITAH for not informing others? I believe that his, like everyone’s, finances are private and should be kept private. Maybe it would’ve been different if he had keeping this information from his wife, for example, but that’s not the case.
Comments
Your manager is a moron and a busybody. NTA
NTA. Your manager is a gossip and has no clue how to be a supervisor. If anyone gets reported to HR, it should be your manager. His lottery win is none of her business.
That’s not your managers business.
NTA. A person’s financial status is their own private matter, and it’s not your place to disclose it. Your coworker’s lottery winnings have no impact on his job performance. Good on you for respecting his privacy.
Nta and that’s none of her business at all. If she or anyone retaliates on him, hes going to have one hell of a lawsuit.
Idk what German customs are like but ratting out a coworker financial situation to your boss in the USA is social suicide. NTA
Even her requesting you to share this info is super illegal. Especially in Germany (as compared to the US), where we value and cherish our privacy laws.
It’s not your information to share in the first place, so where exactly are you gatekeeping it? Let your coworker know and support him if he chooses to go to HR about this.
Something isn’t legit about this. You would maybe have a Head of the Department at a University but not a manager.
Either way, they don’t need to know this info.
None of hers or especially HR’s bloody business.nta.
I would also tell this guy what she said and that she was saying you should have reported his private matters to HR.
“Schadenfreude” your manager seems to be schadenfreude and your NTA (keep an eye on her!)
None of their business
Tell your co worker about this.
He needs to report this with your support.
You’re NTA – it is very wrong of manager to want to know about it personal information that has nothing to do with his work.
Are you crazy, NONE OF YOUR OR ANYONE’S BUSINESS.
NTA. I work in HR and let me tell you – there’s zero obligation to report someone else’s personal financial matters to management. If anything, spreading that kind of information could be seen as creating a hostile work environment. You’re being professional and respectful.
NTA
Ain’t your place to tell.
NTA. Why do they need to know? It’s nothing to do with them.
Maybe you should let him know she’s prying into his personal life, maybe let HR know too.
This is when you should gatekeep some information! How many people are going to come out of the woodwork to ask him for money now!
NTA at all. That’s not just a stretch it’s Olympic-level mental gymnastics from your manager.
Your coworker shared something *personal* with you over lunch in confidence. It’s not your job (or anyone’s) to broadcast his financial status to HR like it’s breaking news. People win money. People also choose not to immediately quit their jobs when they do. Shocking, I know.
And unless his job performance suddenly took a nosedive, there’s literally *zero* reason why this should concern your boss. Being rich, poor, or somewhere in between doesn’t change whether someone shows up, teaches well, and does their work. Which, based on what you said, he does.
The fact that your manager thinks you “gatekept” info like it’s classified intelligence says way more about their priorities than yours. Honestly, if anything, you showed integrity by not gossiping. That used to be considered a good thing, right?
You did absolutely nothing wrong. If someone trusts you with private news, it’s not your role to rat them out to the admin just because they’re in a better financial place now. That’s just weird. Keep being the professional adult in the room. The others can catch up. 🫡
NTA. Your manager is an unprofessional idiot.
NTA. Personal finances are none of anyone’s business.
Nope. Not your story to tell. Hr is being shady af.
You’d be the AH if you went around sharing it. It’s nobody’s business if he won some money or not. Boss is a b@tch. Report her unprofessional attitude
NTA it’s none of their business.
NTA. First off, I fail to see why they’d need to know. And even if they actually did, I fail to see why it would be on you to report it. Are you the personal finance police now or something? Maybe you ought to have a raise if they are going to add this to your responsibilities.
NTA
Your manager is upset cos this guy was worried about his job before, so he worked harder and did tasks that SHE was supposed to do.
Now he’s laid back and only does his own work, and likely puts her and others in their place when they try to offload their work on to him.
I’ve seen this happen with workers who were retiring, and/or who got life changing opportunities. Without the fear of losing their jobs, people dont out up with crap.
Some companies and managers don’t like it when their employees come into “fuck you” money and lose stress of keeping a roof over their head.
NTA it wasn’t your information to divulge. You are correct that it is no one’s business.
Not your business to share, not the company’s business to know. If your coworker hasn’t told everybody about it, then you don’t know about it either.
Next time just flat out say: I’m afraid I cannot disclose this due to GDPR/DSGVO
“My manager just, as a response, got really huffy and short-tempered, saying that she doesn’t believe it’s good to gatekeep this information from the staff.”
—Her reaction shows exactly why she wouldn’t be told.
The lottery win was not the employer’s business and they have no right pumping other employees for information about it.
NTA – sounds like they don’t like that their vice grip over him and leading him on has losen.You have literally no business inregards to a coworkers financial situation and she should not expect you to talk to HR about something that at best should should only be between them and even then it should be non of their business – just like it would be non of their business if he had inherited money.
NTA. “Maybe we do need to discuss this with HR so they can explain just how much of an over-reach your believing you have a right to somebody’s personal financial information is. Shall we walk over there now or shall I set up a Teams meeting? Lemme guess, suddenly it’s Not That Big a deal…”
Someone’s financial situation is nothing to do with someone else, unless you work in some sort of place where your debts etc could be used to manipulate/corrupt you…
NTA. Not your story to tell and the story has zero to do with work except now dude doesn’t have to kill himself working 150% for a 50% position. Manager mad they now have to pick up the slack.
NDA, it’s the same in Germany as it is in Austria, the employer can go fuck himself
Definitely NTA, your manager is. It’s nobody’s business to know another’s financial situation unless it directly impacts their job. Sounds like the manager is a bit too nosy.
Nta. Not your information to share.
“Gate keep” is she just using buzz words she’s too ignorant to understand?
NTA and tell your coworker that one of your other coworkers who was in the room with you two did tell HR about his win and that the HR Lady thinks she is entitled to know.
(Btw they knew they were wrong how They Act with him. since he worked more than he should and they thought they can do whatever they want because he needs the money they didnt gave him a rise. Now he doesnt needs the money so they are scared he quits. Good time for him to ask about more money or a Intermediate report (and as soon as he has his you can also ask for one just for fun…))
NTA
Since you are in Germany. Report said manager to HR for pressuring to disclose personal information. That was the last time happening assuming HR is halfway reputable
It is absolutely none of your manager business. You should inform HR about her nosey ass behavior.
NTA
NTA. Not your news to share
Manager had no right to know your colleagues private info. They can choose who to tell.
NTA – You’re not gatekeeping anything, it wasn’t your story to tell. That’s called discretion. It sounds like the manager is worried they’ve lost their leverage and are likely to lose one of their best employees.
Your coworker didn’t the lottery,
His Wife Did so he had no reason to inform anyone at his job.
Also, What does it matter if a coworker does win something. As long as doesnt affect their job performance then its none of their business
NTA. Sounds like it’s time to start a rumour that you manager won the lottery and won’t even buy cakes.
“Gee, boss, we were all wondering why you didn’t tell us about exactly how much money you have. Shouldn’t you have set an example for how to communicate that sort of thing?”
NTA, clearly.
NTA.
I know that many European countries have pretty fierce ideas about whether certain things are any of your boss’s fucking business.
So this surprises me, that she would think this.
It’s no one’s business what his winnings are.
Nta
GDPR/data protection laws have ….viewpoints about what is essentially violations via gossip
Tell your co worker to go to HR and inform them the manger is requesting his personal information from other co workers
None of your business, and more importantly none of your employers business…
NTA. Why would it be your business to inform your manager about a change in your co-worker’s financial situation? This manager is too nosy for their own good.
NTA. It’s not your information to share, and it’s not the manager’ss or anyone’s business to know. It’s a private matter. And that’s one of the good things in Germany (I’m German, btw) — there are solid laws in place for protecting your privacy. (And worker’s rights/labor laws)
And an employer can’t demand information that have nothing to do with work. The same goes for coworkers and so on.
Tho, generally, I would dissuade your coworker from sharing this information. He may not be a millionaire, but it’s still a lot of money. And there are criminals and leeches out there, that love such information. I really would advise keeping it very private and not go and tell people. Could be dangerous.
Anyway, your manager definitely doesn’t have a leg to stand on. And not hiring people, based on their income/property, is illegal too in Germany. Because you aren’t allowed to openly discriminate for whatever reason. It should be solely about qualifications. Sure, we know, people still do discriminate. But most don’t do it openly, because they know it can have repercussions. So, they mostly give you nondescript reasons like “Alas, we can’t offer you the position as you didn’t make the cut” without ever telling you why you didn’t make the cut.
Updateme, in case there will be more to it or the manager makes some drama.
NTA. Manager wants to know how she can profit off of this.
No, you’re not HR’s spy. As long as it’s not affecting his job performance, it’s none of their business.
HR from the public sector in Germany and Datenschutzbeauftragte.
You did nothing wrong. Your lottery winner did nothing wrong.
This is a severe violation of Privacy protection law. Both by the mutual colleague and your manager.
Please contact HR and the responsible for privacy protection (Datenschutzbeauftragter).
NTA
NTA
That’s not your news to tell.
Next time, feign ignorance. Don’t let on you know anything.
NTA – Your manager is just pissed he lost control over him, and he can’t push or pressure him if he wants to…
This is a personal matter that your colleague told you in confidence, as a friend. You (or even him) have no obligation whatsoever to disclose his lottery winning.
Not sure how things work in Germany but in US that would be a non of your damn business moment. NTA.
Some employers would rather keep their staff on edge thinking it will keep them productive. My thoughts would be, it would just keep them stressed.
What’s the German for “It’s none of your fucking business!”
Edit: Google translate tells me it’s “Das geht dich einen Scheißdreck an!”
Welcome to Germany
NTA, but you might want to look for another job. You got on your boss’s bad side and they might not renew your contract since they already said they would not have hired you.
You should check German and EU laws about what your boss has said and if it is legal. Places are strict on what you have to divulge and what you are protected from revealing.
Not your business, keep it that way.
This is none of your employer’s business. Your manager should know this isn’t her business and, if she doesn’t, HR should know that it isn’t.
Never admit knowing anything personal about another employee. Never tell your manager or boss anything about another employee that they haven’t learned for themselves. These are not friends, they are transactional relationships – you owe them nothing. They owe you a paycheck and respect for your service. That is all. Never confuse a boss or manager with a friend.
I would not have advised confirming this. I would have asked, who is surveiling, evesdropping, and reporting to you on coworkers? I thought the Stasi disbanded.
Let her try to make this less awkward.
NTA. Employers don’t like it when you don’t need a job, they prefer if you have to have a job.
I recently heard that employers try to force lottery winners to quit. If they can’t hang “you need this job/money” over your head, you don’t fear management, so they don’t want you working for them.
NTA and you should gtfo of there.
NTA, WTF is she on about “gatekeeping information”…but I would advise you pull him aside, where no one can overhear you, and warn him. Though he might have already gotten in trouble. I guess his mistake was talking about it at all. And try to figure out who ratted on you. Someone you work with doesn’t like either of you
This sounds like a US manager. Not a euro manager.
NTA. You don’t have an obligation to reveal someone else’s news. EVER.