I am having a debate with a friend of mine and I need some help. I know everyone is different but I’m skeptical of men being vocal during sex. Outside of the stupid lines you hear on porn or the typical “good girl”, is there anyone who talks their person through it and it’s actually something good? My friend thinks men have universal statements that can be used with anyone “you turn me on”, “you’re hot”, “you feel good”.
Is it more common to use plain statements or just be quiet?
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/DumbBimboBaby’s post (if available):
I am having a debate with a friend of mine and I need some help. I know everyone is different but I’m skeptical of men being vocal during sex. Outside of the stupid lines you hear on porn or the typical “good girl”, is there anyone who talks their person through it and it’s actually something good? My friend thinks men have universal statements that can be used with anyone “you turn me on”, “you’re hot”, “you feel good”.
Is it more common to use plain statements or just be quiet?
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I am like Tarzan in the bedroom when I have to buss
“Ugh WHAT’S YOUR CREDIT SCORE, BITCH! Urgghhh I’M ABOUT TO INVEST! Yeuughh COME GET THIS INVESTMENT, HO!!”
it depends on how comfortable i am with the girl and how intimate our connection is, if its a one night stand, i’ll probably won’t say that much, but if its a girl i love deeply, i’m in here ear telling her stuff the whole time, so it depends
I’m very vocal. Depends on who the person is but everyone loves to be praised every now and again
Mostly just grunts and groans
I give some compliments on how good she looks and how good she fucks during the act, thats about it.
Moans and laughter throughout, and talking after we are done. If we talk at all, it is because something isn’t right and we need to make adjustments.
She has said “yes” and “right there” a few times over the years but extremely rarely.
Edit: ok talked to wife. She said that we do communicate towards the end. I’ll tell her I am getting close to finishing and ask if that is OK or if she wants me to continue. Or she will tell me that she is almost done and wants me to finish now if I will at all.
>I’m skeptical of men
I cut out this part to shed some light on this thinking pattern in general. This is too broad a demographic for anything. It would yield better results to further specify your target group or you will just end up with vague, barely actionable or insightful information or conclustions.
>My friend thinks men have universal statements
Same issue. The universality (what a word) does not exist, because the referred demographic is nearly homogeneous enough for much of anything to apply to it.
If I had to say anything to underline this I’ll point to something rather obscure that can influence how common or uncommon it is for men to be louder or quieter during sex: Home ownership. A country where more people rent will in all likelihood have fewer people be loud when dancing the devils tango, as we are still somewhat private about ourselves and you dont want the neighbors to listen in, which is less of a concern if you don’t live wall to wall and have half a garden between you and the next couple/family. And with stuff like this already impacting behavior imagine how many other weird things could shift the behavior of people in the bedroom.
Not much vocal. Only performer ! 😅
I love to talk but my partner more often than not starts giggling when I hit some truly dirty lines. So I have found merit in zipping it and letting my dong do the talking.
I don’t talk much except maybe a “Oh yeah this is good”, but I do moan, and my wife loves that.
Moaner
i’ve been told i make sounds. not moans, but like whimpering? idrk she didn’t tell explain it well
I say a lot in the moment but not so much. I could be agressive and say “oh you like that?” “do you fucking like that?” And carry on and say “do you?”
Sometimes I want affirmation and choke her and make her say yes “say yes “ “tell me”.
If I can rile her up I ask her if she wants to get fucked harder “you like it hard?” “You want me to fuck the shit out of you?” I’m not yelling at her at any point . I want my words to pleasure her.
For the most part I try to be original unless it feels right but I’m pretty extroverted and an assertive as it is.
I’d be vocal only if I was asked to be honest
Does crying count?
In my answer trust is key. I can lower my filter and be more present, but I will not do so with someone unless I believe in her.
Im vocal about giving feedback when something feels really good. I’ll be like, “mmm, yeah, that feels good!”. I also moan and groan when I’m about to climax.
Quite vocal as my username also implies 😅
Sometimes she doesn’t even know I’m in the room!!
Very! My boyfriend is less so, though. He says he likes to “get in the zone”
As far as words, I keep myself from using generic lines, like the ones you mention. I also make it a point to blurt out whatever goes through my mind. Because it’s honest. It should come off that way and I usually receive great responses. I (49) have heard enough women through conversations say they want their men to be more vocal. …….don’t have to tell me twice.
I’ve been shushed before.
I try to be.. but I often feel like i’m forcing it..
Sex just doesn’t feel good enough to justify a natural moan
I’ve used, “you feel so amazing” before. The reaction is usually positive.
I talk a lot during sex and so does my gf, and we both yell a lot
I let my partner know what I like and dont (saying “yeah, there” or “hmmm just like that” etc) I moan and I’m vocal when I cum
I was more vocal before, but my ex was a “don’t wake the parents” type, which quietened me down a bit. Then when I was with my other ex, and we had a neighbour who fucked like she was a dog who’d just had a great poop, and another neighbour who’s gf sounded like a seagull getting murdered, we kind of both agreed we’d had enough random noises, and would stick to instructional discussion.
We’re definitely both on the spectrum 🤣
Why are you skeptical of men being vocal during sex? It sounds like your preference is for men to be quiet during sex. Which is fine. But that’s not cause for skepticism or debate. Preferences are totally fine. Some people communicate a lot during sex, some don’t and there’s a wide spectrum in between the two.
I moan when it feels good and she’s on top of me, as a result she comes way quicker. It’s nice.
I could wake the neighbors when she’s giving it good!
I’m pretty quiet most of the time. I might throw out an “oh, baby” every once in a while but it’s in the moment. “Good girl” is incredibly specific and situation dependent and I’ve only used it a handful of times over ~ 37 years of having sex. I did date someone who liked me to be pretty dominant and I would be vocal with her because she liked it. For the most part though it’s more moaning, etc. The one thing I do do is get pretty loud and guttural when finishing.
The only time I’m really vocal is when I tell my wife “I’m gonna cum in your pussy.”
Im more vocal than the girl. Especially if she doing a great job or when im about to cum.
(Ik im not a dude so im not who you asked) but why are you so skeptical abt it, dudes being vocal and enthusiastic is hot.
No one likes a mute in bed. To me it’s comparable to being a starfish.
Boring and annoying.
How do you know if he’s enjoying himself if he’s completely quiet.
I hate it