Roughly 72 hours ago I get a message from a family member to go check on my dad. We live close and my dad was apparently drunk with a gun sitting in a creek bed.
I spent a total of 2 hours listening to every reason why he needs to end his life. While he tried to hide the gun. He was blubbering drunk. Eyes red and swollen, shaking, swollen tongue so he couldn’t talk. He implied I was an idiot as I sat with him. He preached to me. I have felt out of touch with reality since. I’m a runner and yesterday I wanted to just run and never stop.
I’m done with the trauma. I’m done with being the adult to everyone around me. It’s just being brushed under the rug. I feel like I am fu**ing traumatized. I should have called the cops, but I was just trying to calm him.
Comments
I’m sorry you’re in that position. You don’t have to be the adult in the room with your parents. They make their own decisions as adults. It’s hard to just let it be. You have your life to live and they shouldn’t be dragging you down just because they keep making mistakes.
Jesus Christ im so sorry to hear this. Hope that never happens again, and if happens definitely call cops
What you experienced sounds beyond overwhelming, and no one should have to carry that kind of weight alone. The fact that you sat with your dad in that moment, even when he was drunk, angry, and hurting—you showed deep courage and compassion. That doesn’t go unnoticed.
You’re not an idiot. You were doing your best in an impossible situation. Trying to calm someone in crisis instead of calling the cops isn’t failure—it’s human. You were trying to meet him where he was and help in the only way you knew how. That’s love.
You have every right to feel traumatized, angry, exhausted, and lost. Please don’t bottle this up or try to carry it all by yourself. I hope you’re able to find support—whether through a therapist, a support group, or just people who truly listen. You deserve care too.
I’m rooting for you. You are not alone.