I’ve had several conversations with random women at a bar or club where we start chatting, but about five minutes in, they ask me to buy them a drink. Does this usually indicate genuine interest, or are they just looking for a free beverage
When women ask you to buy them a drink.
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I’ve had several conversations with random women where we start chatting, but about five minutes in, they ask me to buy them a drink. Does this usually indicate genuine interest, or are they just looking for a free beverage
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In my younger years (I’m 52 now), I’ve been in a zillion flirting scenarios and had great success meeting women in bars and clubs. Not once has a woman ever asked me to buy her a drink. Women who have shown interest in me in the past would do so through their general behavior, or maybe they’d talk about hanging out again.
If they initiate contact by asking you to buy them a drink then the interaction is purely transactional. The woman may or not be interested in something more than a drink, but that particular interaction is transactional and is a clumsy way, at best, to open up a conversation.
As for me, I am not buying a stranger a drink just because they ask me. I don’t give homeless people begging for money at the side of the road with a sign money either.
They get a tall glass of ice water.
They just want a free drink.
Personally, I go for it. A few dollars to know if she’s worth it? Hella better than getting rejected.
I’d offer to buy one before even. If we’re talking then few euros for a drink to someone else doesn’t bankrupt me any more than the one I’m having.
I am not judging, but if a woman asks me to buy her a drink.. I assume she’s working!
And that’s a bit of a turn off.
*Granted I live in LA and Vegas… it’s just a hazard of the city.
If you’re in a dive bar in the Midwest US in the middle of nowhere, you have a better chance of getting some action vs doing the same thing in LA, Vegas, NYC, etc.
Lol free drink. I had a girl sit at the bar next to me one time and didn’t even say hi just asked if I wanted to buy her a drink. Just laughed, finished my drink and ordered myself another one
Working girl
“Are they doing 2 for 1s or something?” usually worked for me. Once I had to actually explain that I am not buying her a drink.
I have only ever bought women drinks in bars when I was in Central America and needed someone to practice Spanish with.
Been going to bars for a decade now, I could have sworn the whole buying her a drink think was just a movie cliche. Irl it’s mostly buying drinks for friends, sometimes with random strangers you’ve been vibing with, and like veeeeery rarely I’ll buy a drink for a girl for flirting reasons but even that seems much more casual that movies/shows make it out to be imo
I knew a girl I’d go out to the bars with who only really spoke to guys just to get free drinks. She’d even do it to me after the first time and I said no and just watched her do it to others.
Fucking never literally never
I mean…it can give you the opportunity to talk and show interest, if you make her laugh she might like you and want to spend more time chilling, even see her again. But in and of itself, nah.
In the military, we called those girls “buy me a drink” girls. Not the most creative name, I know, but once you were wise to the game, you could spot them a mile away. Cringe as hell then, still cringe now.
Most of them have boyfriends or husbands. Seriously they’re there feeding their addictions and getting attention.
I’ve had girls approach me and ask if I want to buy them a drink and then get belligerent when I said no.
Chicks who ask for free drinks are looking for just that, free booze and validation. The ladies who are really into you will buy YOU a drink
THIS IS THE ONLY REASONABLE RESPONSE TO THESE WOMEN
I worked in the bar industry. I hear these women talk. The use dating sites for dinners. They bar crawl for free drinks. They hang out at the local bike shop for a free used bike. They go to event parties to get a ride and ticket. I heard one women tell another “I’m on 30 of 30!” She was going on a date a night for 30 days.
The 2 times I did this, right after I bought them a drink, they said they had to go back to their boyfriend now, or they just took off. Them asking you to buy them a drink is a sure sign that they are someone you don’t want to know, at least in my situations.
Careful, in some parts of the world it’s actually a common scam. When you agree to do it, the girl would order an unlisted but extremely expensive cocktail priced at hundreds of dollars. The bar is in on the action, sometimes the cops too.
It’s probably ok in USA, but never do it in other countries.
Strong and independent goes out the window when the restaurant bill arrives.
A lot of the time they just want a free drink.
My canned response is always, “how about you buy me a drink and I’ll get the next round.” Her reaction will tell you if she’s interested in you or just wants a free drink.
Without question the latter. Genuine they would never ask you.
My understanding is that the whole buying a drink custom is not respected anymore. Now women will happily take the drink and walk away. Which is fine in theory. I don’t think anyone should feel obligated to talk to someone else just because they bought a drink, but that was the norm in the past. Now it’s not.
I personally think someone asking me to buy them a drink is just rude and I wouldn’t want to talk to them anyway.
Nah man fuck that. If you are interested you dont need a drink.
If i am empty and want one myself and i genuenly see her sticking around actually being interested i will ask if she wants one too. Also not aome crazy expensive shit(im not at those places anyway.) or if she suddenly wants to include a friend of hers.
Just looking for a free drinks and will thank you and walk away, dont fall for it
When me and my wife go out I don’t pay for anything. She will get up from where we are sitting, and ask a random guy if he will get her a drink. They usually do, and she just splits them with me.
If she has to ask, its an immediate hell no.
They’re just looking for a free drink
I don’t buy drinks unless we’re on a date
If they have to ask you for a drink they are more interested in the drink. This is a drink they either cannot afford or they get a thrill out of the game of getting others to buy them drinks. Either way that is a ginormous red flag. If she was interested in you then she will not even remember her drink is empty.
Not at all she’s just using you for free drinks but at the same time you have to gauge the context and her behavior
Impossible to tell from only that information.
Dude, unless you’re on a date you never play that card. She’s most likely swindling other chumps for free drinks. Don’t be that chump.
I used to tell them no but I’ll give them the privilege of buying me a drink. If she says no, I would ask what makes her that much more special than me that she can’t buy me a drink.
Yes.
And the correct response would be “waiter, can I get a glass of water?”.
Not enough info to tell if it’s genuine interest. You gotta make that decision on your own. But At the end of the day, it’s your money. If you don’t want to buy the drink, don’t.
Think of it as a sales opportunity. Are you interested in talking to them? If so, then maybe if they give you 30 min. Of their time, you’ll buy them a drink. If you think they are attractive, it might be a good way to learn more about them before they inevitably take your drink and walk away.
This would weed out the ones that just want a drink, and those who do want to talk to you and that’s their ice breaker.
If they just turn and leave, then let some other sucker waste their money on them.
Win-win.
They are just using you. Don’t buy anyone a drink unless you offer.
If they’re asking dor it they 100% just want a free drink
I hate to say it, but most of the time, they really want a free drink. Now, not all women go to get free drinks, however, when they ask for one, that’s an indicator of what they are there for.
Good chance that she’s a prostitute, and will ask you for payment for services she offers you later.
Run.
Usually a free drink. If it was genuine interest, they would offer to buy you a drink. Women pay for the bad boys and players.
I have bought women drinks. But not generally strangers or just anyone that asked.
If I dont know them. Then I don’t… because of the chance of them just walking away and ghosting me afterwards.
I happily buy drinks for women (and men) I know and am close too/friends but not strangers
I know a lesbian who would pretend to be interested in men at the bar for frew drinks and then walk away. Ain’t gonna let that happen to me.
“buy me the first drink then i’ll buy you the next 2”
that will cut through the bullshit relatively quick. if they just want a free drink they say nah. if they want to stick around they say yes.
You need very little pride, self-awareness and respect to reach the point of never asking anyone to buy you a drink.
This isn’t a gender-thing. I’ve had plenty of sleazy guys ask me to buy them drinks. Save your money for those, who are willing to invest in you too.
Ask them why
I would immediately ask them why and challenge them
you will never know for sure, if someone is flirting with you for free drinks they will likely be good at flirting and make you feel wonderful, the same feelings you will get if you are having a genuine connection with someone. Your options are pretty limited, you either risk it or you dont.
i will say if its getting to the point someone is asking you to buy them a drink… its probable the former. in my experience someone interested will want to keep hanging out regardless, that said again, lots of women really want to be treated like a woman in a movie. so its up to you, spend the money take a shot or dont. you need to learn how to judge the situation.
I have a friend who is female that brags about never buying drinks on a night out. Other than that she is a lovely person. She just can’t see an issue with it.
> Does this usually indicate genuine interest
if she was interested, if she wanted you, she’d be ingratiating herself to you. she’d be buying you the drink.
I think it’s a terrible faux pas (nice way of saying it’s rude af) to assume that I want to buy them a drink just because they started talking to me. I usually retort with, “Sure, if you buy the first round.” That’s when you learn how genuine their interest really is.
IMHO there is zero loss if they just stop talking to you by then, because then they have revealed their hand; i.e. that they were only after free beverage after all. But if they do keep talking, that’s when you know you found someone cool.
On the other hand, if you’re in a good mood, and it doesn’t bother you, then idk buy them a drink. I like to do that before they make the rude suggestion for you, though. Or to show them that I actually do appreciate them. But then it’s usually someone I already know from before. Buying randoms drinks on the town? Not my thing. Though it can buy you a little extra time with someone. I remain doubtful whether it’s a great tac to get a girl home with you though.
They’re “working” girls, they order top shelf, get something bottom shelf & get part of the difference. The drink won’t be mixed & they’ll only drink the top half through stirring straw as the alcohol is denser ands stays in the bottom. (This usually happens in strip clubs, but sometimes in fancy hotel bars.)
Sounds to me like they want… a free drink. No thanks. Don’t waste your money.
Free beverages. I once had a woman say, “You buy me a drink, and I’ll buy you a drink.” I bought her her drink, then she left.
Such selfish evil.
Free beverage or they are hookers.
spending money on a complete stranger just cause i find her attractive never sit right with me. maybe if we chat and hit it off i’ll treat her but before even knowing her name? crazy
Don’t do it, trust me on this. They don’t give a fuck about you, they’re just trying to get a free drink and then they’ll fuck off and leave you alone in the bar/club.
She wants a free drink. That’s some huevos though to just boldly ask like that.
I’ve never asked a guy to buy me a drink, although I’ve had guys offer or just ask the bartender what I was drinking and have it sent over…. probably because they watched too many movies 🤣
50/50. Roll the dice. 🎲
Are you in vegas?
I’ve asked a man this before… but only because he repeatedly told other men approaching me asking to buy me a drink to get lost essentially. I’m pretty shy and considered saying something to be pretty flirtatious and forward.
After about an hour of conversation with this dude (who I was genuinely interested in) and the third guy coming over asking to buy me a drink and him cutting in saying “no man she’s good she’s clearly talking to me” or similar, I basically said maybe you would like to buy me a drink or I would like to head over to the bar and order myself something… but it so depends on the situation
“Thanks I have one”
Works like a charm
If see that as a sign of her being a drink scab: Someone who just wants to guys to buy them a drink all night.
Bars are SO not worth it my friend.
I offer to buy a woman a drink after chatting for a little bit, I don’t think I’ve ever bought a drink if a woman asked me to buy them once since I was 23
My mom taught me to that you always pay your own way so you’re not obligated to another person. In this situation the girl should already have her own drink or order for herself, and if she sticks around to have a conversation with you, she’s interested. 😀
Why so much importance on the price of a drink?
Men or women, you’re in a bar.
If the atmosphere is too much for your attitude or wallet, go elsewhere.
Just looking for a free drink, I cannot count how many times I hear girls laughing about how many free drinks they’ll get in a night. If a girl asked me outright, the answer would be no lol
75% free drinks, 25% might be interested.
All I know is in college girls would brag about how many free drinks they got.
I buy them a drink, then direct them to my friends cus I didnt wanna interact with them anymore. Only has happened to me once.. 😅 I didn’t like it. I’m pretty egalitarian, if I wanna buy someone a drink, I’ll do it when I want to, not when someone asked for one.. it’s so awkward, like what do I say? “No”?
Free drink hoes
“No.”
Only women getting drinks paid for by me are my wife and good friends (when it’s my turn to buy a round).
If they asking you to buy a drink most likely it’s because they gonna ditch you after. A women who is interested in you will genuinely offer to get you a shot or two a drink too lol. Do not buy no women no drinks in the bar or club.
Buy a stranger a drink? Not as their first approach, no. They view you different immediately. Want to see if they really like you? Smile, tell them what you’re drinking and tell them you’ll buy the 2nd round.
You’ll get laid just as often and not waste your money.
Hell no she isn’t interested in YOU. She’s interested in you paying for something she wants.
Homeless people also ask me for money and I ignore them.
I offer if I’m interested but definitely not the opposite.
They just want a free drink. If they’re into you – they’ll dance with you or straight up tell you. They won’t ask for drinks 🥴
She’s using you. Women that are truly interested in you don’t ask you to buy them things. Especially not that soon.
Free drink..and most importantly an ego boost. As a chick(who doesn’t drink and never has but even if I did) I would never ask a dude to “buy me a drink”… That is incredibly forward and cringe. I’ve heard girls ask dudes to buy them drinks whom I came to the bar with for girls night out or whatever. Here I am cringing at the desperation they’re portraying. And on the way home when their quota of free drinks did not fulfill their ego and they all crying about “why?” …u bess believe I schooled them. I’d have 3 untouched drinks all rowed up in front of me that guys bought, and mind you I’m just an average looking chick, nothing to write home about, I did not view my number of free drinks as a measure of my desire ability, I saw them for what they were..which was tools to lower my inhibitions so one of em could “get lucky” and take advantage of me. So guys, yes it’s cruel girls using guys to get free drinks but y’all gotta admit, with those drinks y’all have alterior motives for buying too..so it’s a 2 way street. That is why the bar is no place for me. I’ll stay home and do a few lines of blow any day lol(I know, that came outta left field, eh?) but same goes, I’ll buy my own that way I’m not beholding to some asshole all to have a fun evening.
If she’s really interested then she would be offering you the free drink, not asking you to give her one for free.
I learned in high school to stop buying drinks for girls.
Free drink
I’d just buy one and then drink it myself in front of her 🍸🤷🏻♂️🤣
My go to line is “why don’t you get the first round and I’ll get the second”
This weeds out the girls just trying to catch and release for free drinks. If they actually vibe with you, they will be fine with that option
You could also say “I don’t feel comfortable buying someone a drink until I know them more”
because they are broke, most of them has finances in the zeros,crippling credit card debt, and in life they got handed everything, and they used to it. Woman lives their life in recruit difficulty. While we doin hard mode right out the gate.
just don’t bro. Never do that. I only buy drinks when i own her a favor.
edit: if they do ask me, i just act dumb and stupid, and lalalalaalala
They’re looking for a freebie
Freebie
Most women will only ask for a drink if that’s all they want… a freebie. If she’s genuinely interested, whatever that may be, she’ll ask you to get a drink with her or even offer to pay. Then it’s up to you. This is a staple of clubbing culture.
Freebie. Sorry to say but that comes from the experience of not realising that’s the case far too many times.
Testing to see if you are a sucker.
They want a free ride, answer no and walk away. Dignity intact and self esteem sharpened!
Don’t buy them anything unless you are dating them. Typically they are just trying to get free drinks from random men.
If they are TRUELY interested, they dont need a drink. Especially one that you will be buying for them.
resident woman here. 90% chance they want something for free 🙁
Say you’ll pay the second round, it’s what I do, and the ones looking for a free drink filter themselves out. 🙂
Be ready to take the heat though.
When I was single pre 2020 I only met one woman in London who asked me for things, all the women I met and dated were self sufficient to the point where I would ask them to buy me a drink as a pick up line. Not sure if it’s you have a good job when you live here but if a woman asked me to buy a drink and I was interested I wouldn’t mind to see where it went.
One time I was in similar situation &asked her, will we be making out later tonight?
free loaders tend to do this more often, unless there’s a flirty vibe instead of a direct demand
Not a man, but I can tell you that as a woman, I have never once in my 42 years ever asked a man to buy me a drink. I think that’s tacky as f*ck… and I think these women know that, but they don’t care because all they want is a free drink.
They justify it by telling themselves that the only reason you are buying them that drink is so you can get in their pants (which is probably true). A woman who actually likes you or doesn’t hate men, in general will want you to actually like her and won’t ask you to buy her things… she’ll let you buy her a drink, but she won’t ask.
One of many reasons why it’s important for men to still be willing to be the ones who approach. It might sound old-fashioned, and sexist, and it definitely cannot be applied to every situation, but generally speaking, the type of women who cold approach men are not the type of women most men actually want to be in a relationship with in the long run.
There was one instance I recall a woman asking me to buy her a drink. I was sitting next to her, kinda knew her outside the bar, and was reasonably attracted to her; she probably could have guessed. I wasn’t sitting next to her to be near her, just how it happened.
She turns to me and says, “hey, buy me a drink?” Not quite flirty but not monotone or demanding either. I give her a look of genuine disgust and say, “uh… nope.” She shrugs, stands up, pulls money out of her back pocket, walks to the bar and gets herself a beer. I was not sitting there when she returned. Never spoke to her again.
I’m not saying all women that ask are like that, or that I would never buy a woman a drink. It was the way she asked, I was “worth” one potentially free drink if she bothered to ask and that was the entirety of my value to her.
Well most of the times it’s for freebee
I’d rather smear my face with bird poo than ask a random man to buy me a drink