Men who’ve been in an abusive relationship: What do you wish the people around you did? Or what’s something you’re glad they did?
Men who’ve been in an abusive relationship: What do you wish the people around you did? Or what’s something you’re glad they did?
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Actually ask about how the relationship is going without her around. So I could have an intelligent conversation without her stupid ass barging in the convo.
Most of my friends don’t know how toxic women can be in a relationship. It’s the boiling frog vibe, manipulation, hot cold, (passive) aggressive comments. Up down up down. Cheating on you, masking they’ve done anything wrong. But there’s no evidence, because I couldn’t record anything. I have memories, and can remember all details. But no one understands how it feels.
A therapist is the only solution.
I wish others would voice that they see, way to often “its not my place too….” well that means you just enabled the “abuser”, too often do i hear “he shouldnt stay with her as….” but no one actually told him… now getting him to realize that is another issue, however ive realized that peoiple change the personality based on who sees them
Maybe instead of supporting her and making excuses and justifying her bad behaviours and toxicity as “her just being misunderstood and feeling unwanted” etc
I’m glad I survived that so now I can wake up my fellow bros.
Sometimes however, the spell is too deep even when faced with the facts.
They told me that I should not allow her to hit me and the next time she tries – to slap the blonde out of her hair.
I should’ve listened to them.
I am glad that I divorced her. I wish I got therapy to deal with the PTSD that I apparently have because of her. I also wish I listened to friends and family who noticed that she was abusive.
Mine was very simple but has affected me for 20 years. A girl I briefly expressed interest in in HS threatened suicide if I didn’t have a life with her and so I took care of her for a couple of years. Feeling responsible that casual interest can be life or death out of my control has burdened me my entire adult life. I doubt there’s anything anyone could have done differently. Im not sure that even hearing that what others do outside of my control is not my fault would have helped.
Plenty of people around me tried their best to get me away from her. Unfortunately I was stupid and kept going back for a really long time. It’s over now though, thankfully
Not exactly answering the question the way you intended, but: I’m so thankful that once I got out of my abusive relationship with my narcissistic ex, my friends welcomed me back with open arms.
I was overcome with such immense guilt after this woman had isolated me from true close friends (and had started attempts to isolate me from my family).
They forgave me, even when I couldn’t forgive myself.