I’m going to start off by saying I know I have a husband problem. It’s very upsetting at the moment and I don’t need comments saying leave him. We have a happy marriage other than in law issues and I’m a foreigner in another country. I have no support here, nowhere to go. If I leave for home I’d have to leave my children behind as they were born in this country and I can’t take them overseas without the father’s permission. So I’m stuck here
Anyway onto MIL problems
Yesterday a friend of ours called saying they had a heart operation. They wanted hubby to call MIL to let her know. Hubby did so and she asked if he could pop by after work. “I miss you and I want to see you. Come by so we can talk.”
Hubby the absolute idiot he is didn’t think it would be an ambush. He thought she genuinely just wanted to see him.
In my previous posts I talk about sending her a message about boundaries because she just wasn’t getting the hint. Hubby goes in and after the hellos and how are yous she asks “did you know about the message?”
So she thinks I sent it without hubby knowing. He said yes, we sent it together. MIL starts ranting about how she hasn’t done anything wrong. What did she do? Hubby says this is a conversation we need to have with OP present. Basically redirecting to we need to talk about this together
She gets on the deck topic saying she was just trying to help us. Hubby says you never listen to us. We don’t want help and told you 4-5 times not to do it
She has MS. Starts going on about how this is affecting her health. She can’t sleep, she’s getting cramps in her body
She says she’s not allowed to babysit the children, she’s only allowed supervised visits. This is where I’m furious at hubby, instead of saying yes he says we need to talk about this together
Now get this, MIL says I’ve been taken off the pickup list at daycare. How does she know this? Has she tried to pick them up?!!! I’ve asked daycare manager to look into it
MIL has requested we figure out a time to meet and we can have a discussion. I don’t want to do this, I don’t see the point of it especially since I’m not going to back down on our boundaries. But it’s happening so I have to go. Hubby’s asked me to stay calm and collected. I’m so furious I’ve told him it needs to be in a public place because I’ll lose it in private
Why can’t this woman leave me alone!
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Other posts from /u/kiwigirlie:
Low Contact – Child asking to see JNMIL, 3 days ago
MIL on pregnancy losses, 1 week ago
Starting to feel guilty for low contact, 3 weeks ago
Deck Oiling MIL and abandonment, 3 weeks ago
Deck Oiling MIL – Her Bday, 3 weeks ago
I win one but hubby loses, 1 month ago
Deck Oiling MIL – daughters bday party, 1 month ago
Deck Oiling MIL Again, 1 month ago
Update on oil decking MIL, 1 month ago
Told her my boundaries, 1 month ago
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your posts read like a very bad soap opera. I feel for you. stay strong and don’t give in on anything you don’t feel comfortable with.
Husband asks you to stay calm because he already knows his mom will do her usual ranting and whining. Why does he think it’s up to you to be controlled when she isn’t? I’m sorry you have to deal with this, and you are so limited in options.