Man flu, by definition from a woman who has seen it in many men: it’s a normal cold or flu but it’s more serious than YOUR cold or flu. You don’t seem to understand mansplain voice he’s sick. He can’t do anything but videogame or watch tv but this is his normal behavior anyway. No, he won’t take medication. No, he’s not going to see a doctor until his symptoms actually get bad. No, YOU’RE less sick so should look after the kids on your own. No, he couldn’t possibly cook or pay for to order food either. No, he’s the sickest person in the house.
But yeh, please do everything you already do like housework, childcare and cooking because you’re not as sick as a man is. Look after him. He won’t ever look after you the same way even though he knows how to from past experience of being looked after. You’ll be dehydrated because he won’t offer to get you a drink. You might get a plain sandwich or a piece of toast but that’s just because he knows, on some level, that you need food. He won’t cook soup because soup isn’t dinner but also he’s not cooking because he’s sickkkk.
Fuck man flu. Fuck men who “suddenly” get sick when you explain you’re feeling sick. Fuck men who go to work sick and get others sick. Fuck men who treat their wives, girlfriends or even random women they’ve only known for a few weeks as caretakers when they would NEVER look after a woman they supposedly care about.
Reason for story today: I’m sick but I’m self employed so have taken the day off working. I’m apparently the default parent and maid in our house so can’t take a day off properly.
My partner is now also sick out of nowhere but he claims he’s been sick longer. He’s working right now (from home) and passive aggressively stating how unfair it is because I can choose not to work for the day so I can actually rest and get better. Dude won’t take painkillers, drink soup I made or even take a nap when he’s finished work. He doesn’t go to bed early or eat vegetables. I don’t careeeeeeeee anymore. I’m sick and preparing for our kid to envitably get sick too, to which I’LL have to look after them, being also sick or not.
I’ve done laundry, had a nap, put rubbish out to the bins, rested, had a glass of water & meds and now feel like I need another nap. I’m that god damn sick and in pain. I’ve got my period. Don’t fuck with me today. Fuck your man flu and have some soup!
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Honestly I’m sick for the second time in two months and I’m really grateful my (male) partner has been doing the heavy lifting
We were both sick the first time. I was sicker. I assume it was the same virus (given timing) and it just affected us differently.
I didn’t see a doctor. It was a flu, I would have just risked making someone else sick.
TL;DR: sometimes partners get sick at the same time. Sometimes one partner is sicker than the other. Usually it’s nice to help each other out, regardless of gender.
Why are you staying with someone who isn’t willing to make you a damn soup when you’re sick? And this is just a flu, what about when you get sick with something more serious? And it’s “when”, not “if”, because we all age and we all get sick with something or another as we get older. You can’t count on him now, how can you count on him then?
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How does it feel to always be “wrong” in the relationship?
Did you check his temp rectally? He’s got a case of liar liar pants on fire
These boys, so fragile sometimes. I shouldn’t complain too much about my husband, he’s been a pretty good partner in these months after our daughter was born, taking on his fair share of feedings, diaper changes, etc. But I swear to god, he was more wrecked by labor than I was, just due to the sleep deprivation. I was up the next morning delighted to be eating a normal breakfast after 3 months of gestational diabetes, with as much coffee as I wanted, and IBUPROFEN (Yassss), and he was completely non-functional after missing the night of sleep. I was astonished.
I’ve never met anyone who said man flu and meant it. It’s a joke.
It’s such a common dynamic, it should be taught in premarital counseling (which should be mandatory, imo): EVERY illness or injury they have will be worse/ more painful than ANY illness you will ever have. Write it down, repeat it until it’s imbedded in your brain.
If you even start to see this in your partner, correct it immediately or quit the relationship. You will never get the support or respect you deserve from them otherwise.
I have an employee (who is about to be a former employee), and when he gets “sick,” he’s out for a week. No doctor’s note, nothing. Now? He hurt his knee and has been out for 2 weeks. No doctor’s note, nothing. Go to the doctor and get yourself checked out. For fuck’s sake, be an adult.
God my ex. He needed a lot of coddling on a good day, but when he wanted extra fussing, he got “sick”. His only symptom was feeling not well. And for that, I was to drop everything else, and cater to his every whim, all day long.
When I finally realized he wasn’t at all sick and I stopped running around like a crazy woman, it was amazing how quickly he now recovered from being “sick” and how rarely he got “sick” after that. Like from a couple times a month to a couple times a year.
The sting is that he felt entirely justified in hijacking my day whenever he wanted the extra attention. It’s just so inconsiderate and dishonest.
Every time I was sick in my last relationship, so was my partner. Flu, cold, whatever. So I ended up making us soup, taking care of us, buying us medicine, passing out said medicine, etc.
When I was sick with things particular to me, and he wasn’t, I still ended up making myself soup and taking care of myself.
Fucking waste of time and space.
This is why we shouldn’t coddle men.
Mine has a hemorrhoid. I’ve had hemorrhoids in the past and yeah, they suck but HIS hemorrhoid is apparently the suckiest manifestation to ever have cursed a butthole. He groans. He limps. He bought a special pillow because the couch cushion is too hard on his tushie. And of course he can’t fucking spell so guess who’s been googling “hemorrhoid treatment” for the past week? I’ll be getting ads for walk in tubs and reverse mortgages for the rest of my life. So, yeah. I get it.
I had the flu early this year and was so sick that I couldn’t leave the bed for 1-2 days. I also collapsed outside doing chores two times when I though I was totally recovered. So did I get a man flu or what? /s
There’s some evidence that men actually do tend to feel worse from the same virus, something with testosterone levels. It’s clearly not the case with OP’s partner, he sounds exhausting. But I can tell with my husband, he really seems to feel worse when we both get a cold/the flu/a stomach bug.
(he used to stay in bed all day for a simple cold, which I found offensive and ridiculous, but he’s improved so much since we have a child and he knows he has to struggle through a certain amount of blegh sometimes)
>No, he’s not going to see a doctor until his symptoms actually get bad
I know I’m coming from a very, very Dutch perspective here, but…. that sounds normal?
I was dating a guy for two years. In that time he had been sick twice and I took care of him each time. Then I got sick, and I asked him to boil some water for tea while he was in the kitchen. He ROLLED HIS EYES and said “if you’re so sick you can’t boil water, maybe you should go to the hospital”
I looked him dead in the eyes and told him he wasn’t partner material. I got my ducks in a row after that and left him. Never regretted it. What a bum!
I was dating a guy a few years ago. After going to a concert at the height of covid, he suddenly felt feverish. We’d only been dating for a few months. As soon as he started feeling sick, I suggested he go home… he still lived with his parents, and I was worried it might be covid. I have type 2 diabetes, and I knew if it was covid, it would hit me much harder than him. He just ignored me and went to my bedroom to lay down. I asked him to take a covid test, and he said he was too sick to do so. He fell asleep. He cried and moaned in his sleep. When he woke up, he asked for gingerale and soup. I got it. He drank the gingerale, didn’t eat the soup, then complained that the upstairs bedroom was too hot, so he went to the basement and contaminated my guest bedroom, too. He asked me to put a cold compress on his forehead, and was really needy and whiny. I took care of him like a good girlfriend. He was sick for maybe 24 hours, and the next day, he was miraculously better.
I was starting to think it hadn’t been covid at all… and of course he refused to take a test. 2 days later, I woke up and could not breathe. I took a test, and I had covid. It was way worse than his. I had a fever so bad I was hallucinating. I was having breathing problems. I stayed in bed with a fever for 3 days. I couldn’t eat. I had to Uber Gatorade. I live alone and I had nobody to take care of me. I thought I was going to die alone. When he found out I had covid, he immediately went home because he didn’t want to “catch it”… despite obviously giving it to me.
When I got better, I broke up with him.
My ex omg. We both had the flu when our kid was 6months. We took turns. I was with the baby for 3 hours while he rested. Then he called his dad to come over for 3 hours while we both rested. Then it was my turn again when his dad left.
But! Our son is now a teenager. He heats up heating packs unsolicited for me, always offers to bring me things when I’m not feeling well. When I told him I was having surgery and would be tired for a few days in bed, his first response was ‘and I’ll be the butler for you!’
Whiny babies that claim to be the superior sex and soo mwuch stwonger than us.
I would never disrespect myself enough to be with a selfish man baby like this. Get out of it.
Who taught you that love had to be like this?
What if your children end up in marriages that look like yours?
You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
You deserve restful sick days. You deserve compassion and kindness. You deserve better.
My ex used to do this. My life is so much easier without him trying to prove his suffering was worse.