I 22M was having a conversation with a friend about a week ago about dating. I’ve casually dated and hooked up a few times but nothing to the point that it’s materialized to a relationship. Admittedly, my teeth aren’t great nor is my physique which I admitted to her is most likely a contributing factor as to why I haven’t had a serious relationship but she completely disagreed with me. When I asked her what it was she said and I quote “you give off mad dad vibes”. When I asked her what she meant she couldn’t give me an exact answer as to what she meant by dad vibes.
So, what exactly are “dad vibes” and why is that working against me when it comes to wanting something long term?
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Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/Ok_Relationship1599’s post (if available):
I 22M was having a conversation with a friend about a week ago about dating. I’ve casually dated and hooked up a few times but nothing to the point that it’s materialized to a relationship. Admittedly, my teeth aren’t great nor is my physique which I admitted to her is most likely a contributing factor as to why I haven’t had a serious relationship but she completely disagreed with me. When I asked her what it was she said and I quote “you give off mad dad vibes”. When I asked her what she meant she couldn’t give me an exact answer as to what she meant by dad vibes.
So, what exactly are “dad vibes” and why is that working against me when it comes to wanting something long term?
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Most probably meant you too mature for her. She most probably just wants something casual.
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>When I asked her what she meant she couldn’t give me an exact answer
She didn’t want to because fish don’t teach fishing. People want to play the game not fully disclose its rules.
I’ll say this: Dad vibes attracts daddy issues. If you don’t want to deal with women looking at you to take care of them (emotionally, financially) as if they were children, dont treat the women you are interested in the same way you treat the friend of yours. In the end that was her perception of you, not every womans perception of you.
You’re not the fun guy all the girls want to bang. You’re the guy they’ll settle for and have kids with after she’s gotten her fill of random dick.
You come across as old and always the bridesmaid never the bride
She was scrambling for something nice to say about you, then had no idea how to parlay that into being a nice thing to say about you so she couldn’t elaborate.
When I hear Dad vibes, I think of polo shirts, cargo shorts, tube socks, and all white sneakers. An interest in lawn care, power tools, golf, or televised sports. Maybe an overly serious personality.
There are other things that are a little more subtle. The way you stand or walk, the non-speech sounds you do or don’t make, the words you use.
Probably thinks you are safe and dependable but, not very exciting.
Also to note, Dad vibes and Daddy vibes, are two compleeeetely different things!
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Could mean anything. That’s an extremely vague comment! And pretty much everybody brings different baggage to what a “dad” is like. People are generally bad at articulating themselves about stuff like this.
Do you drop her off at soccer and forget to pick her up until 5 hours later? 😂
Dad vibes are exactly what it sounds like, 40+ responsibility, stay home, settled into routine.
Some girls want dad vibes after their party phase buy most 20 year Olds are just getting started on their party phase, which is why your dad vibes aren’t doing so well.
That sounds like the modern equivilent of when I was told in my 20s that I was “too mature” and “too serious”; ” had my shit together”; and was “husband material.” Basically, not a loud, boisterous, immature selfish prick who parties all the time and engages in attention seeking behavior to impress girls.
I had 3 on campus jobs, got straight As, went out for runs at 6 sm, and preferred stopping by the in town jazz club rather then going to frat parties. Spent my weekends studying for the LSAT or sitting outside reading a book and smoking a pipe.
Also why I had a FWB with a econ professor. 20s girls in college wanted busch lite, fart jokes, and rap music. I wanted a martini, Monty Python, and a jazz club.
She feels safe around you. Not the top choice for 20 yr old women lol
We should be friends cause you were my kind of bro when I was 22 (32 now)
While I agree with a lot of comments posted, take it with salt on top and sugar on bottom. I was (still am) the Dad vibes guy. It’s not a bad thing, just means your type of woman is not the women you currently want to attract.
Your friend who said you give dad vibes? Perfect. Her and any others that are like just deleted themselves from your dating pool. Idk how you feel about dating older I strongly recommend it. Fuck the young ones, date the older ones. It things work out even better you’ll end up dating and fucking the older ones.
All in all, do your thing and catch them on the flip side. No need to be rude but ive told plenty of younger women “You aren’t my type” and MEANT that with a straight face at 22. From 18-29. Drama free. Traveled plenty. Always a good friend. Built relationships. Still got laid during the process and built up my wealth and understanding. Im working on my physical now (could lose 50 lbs) but im chill and Im happy.
I wanted coffee dates and pie at 22. My best friend, she told me I date like an old man. Fucked me up because wtf does that mean? She said not a lot of women at 25 want coffee and pie dates. Look and date people who do and you’ll do better. She was right, changed my whole perspective and now my dating life is better now that im looking to settle up with a good woman after waiting a few years.
You got it.
I will translate the womanese:
“You seem like a nice stable guy who would make a good father, but I am not interested in that because I am too busy riding the cock carousel and am not ready to settle down. I may give you a chance in the future if I have failed to secure commitment from one of the guys I’m actually attracted to, and will probably need you to help me take care of the kids I have with those guys.”
need to change your life action defaults — “less common sense, way more idiot “i dont care” perception about any decisions”
In this case, it might be kind of an insult, or an attempt to let you down easy, which I don’t think worked.
But you should choose to take it in the sense that you are kind and caring person. Being a “dad” is a good thing.
It probably depends a lot on what the person in question thinks about their dad. 🙂
When I hear it, it makes me think of someone mostly stable, possible with a paternalistic attitude toward their friends. Like the “mom-friend” who feeds/clothes/medicates the friend group, but less affectionate.
You sure it wasn’t ‘daddy vibes’?
Not a partier, laid back, kinda corny maybe…?
She thinks you’re beekeeping age.
Do u wear a belt with your shirt tucked in?