What’s something you didn’t understand about being a man until you actually became one?
What’s something you didn’t understand about being a man until you actually became one?
r/AskMen
What’s something you didn’t understand about being a man until you actually became one?
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It’s hard out here for a pimp
Why my dad was always so angry
Most talk about being all alone
…and when do you exactly know when you’re a man versus a boy? Your first wet dream?
You are the cavalry.
Accountability, and the need to serve. Men are born to serve. In your younger years, you think it’s you against the world. Nah. You get older, watch your parents getting older, watch people you love and care about break down. You make your mark by helping out. Old neighbour you’ve known all your life, can’t cut the grass anymore, get out there and cut it for them. Lady can’t reach things on the top shelf, and the pregnant lady is carrying a load of shopping. Your responsibility is to help people where you can, all the time. You don’t go bending over backwards until you’re broken, but you do what you possibly can.
And Accountability, you are responsible for your actions. No excuses. Hold your hands up when you’ve done wrong, don’t blame everyone or anyone else. It’s you. Learn, move forward. Its easy to blame others, be a man
By 12, I was already a man.
Absolutely no one cares.
Disposability.
Your life only matters for as long as it’s useful to others. My dad took his own life for this reason.
Why my dad was always so physically exhausted.
You don’t have to earn becoming a man, there’s no test. that’s toxic talk
That my dad would come home after work (5am-5pm) and settle in on the couch, watching TV, and inevitably falling asleep.
No one cares. Not really. Ultimately its is up to the man to figure it out. While self reliance has been good to me, I often feel like I am blamed for lots of the ills of the world. Trying to make up for it is impossible, so I have had to learn not to care what many people think. Just because someone says something does not mean it is valid or true. And people say lots of things.
You go to a job you probably hate, working for a boss who you really don’t like, to make money for your family that gets spent before you get the chance, living in a house that needs you to work on in your off time, with a family who’s needs are placed above your own.
Buy hey, at least you get new socks on your birthday.
That women have the power to ruin a man’s life……..
True responsibility. Accountability when no one else wants it, and that through all this no one actually cares.
The majority of your life will revolve around “out of necessity” situations.
I feel like I sorta thrive mentally off of being relied on, I like being the hero who is willing to drive or pay for this, fix that, make dinner. I also feel like I’m not allowed to be sick cuz people rely on me and I have to be strong when others can’t, not the other way around
It’s simple. No one cares.
How much dumb shit I have done for a woman
Well something I learned by just becoming an adult in general is that nobody really knows what they’re doing. All those kids you grow up with wind up being those same kids, just bigger, achier, more stressed and (hopefully) more responsible. There’s no magical moment where people grow up. How grown up people act depends completely on the situation they’re in.
The value of patience and observation.
People, governments, organizations, all of them are liars and love to paint themselves in high esteem. The wise man doesn’t react, doesn’t provoke, doesn’t engage. He just sits back and lets them out themselves for who they really are.
Oh, and the value of not making politics the center of any conversation. Golden rules and etiquette from a time when man had more common sense and lacked the hysteria that is so prevalent in society today. I never really knew why chicks dug mysterious men either until I became that guy.
How utterly fucking stupid US libertarians are. Even compared to conservatives and leftists, they’re the MVPs of the short bus.
Nostril hair
You’re in this on your own
there is no safety net for you.
That it’s nothing to do with what you look like, I’ve seen far more masculine women than ‘men’.
Unless you’re lucky enough to have a loving family, a good partner, or good friends, literally nobody gives a shit wether you exist or not, and so you need to work as hard as you can to maintain your relationships with family, friends, and your partner.
It may sound cliche but the saying, Just Do It, applies to all aspects of my life.
Mention to someone I wanted to go to colleg, are you sure, it’s hard, how will you pay, you’re better off not going.
Mention to someone I want to learn how to fix cars, so you think you’re a mechanic?, you’re going to break stuff and it will cost you more, another pipe dream, just take it to the shop.
Mention i want to learn basic construction/electrical work, all negative feed back, wow you’re looking for new ways to hurt yourself.
I don’t know if it’s by nature that people do this, but if I listen to the people around me (including my family) I would not have a BS Degree in Computer Science. I wouldn’t be able to fix 90% of the issues on cars i work on (excluding transmission and import makes/models). I wouldn’t have remodeled my kitchen, bathroom, and basement. I wouldn’t have been able to do a cross country road trip, go on cruises and visit overseas.
Now, those same people come to me asking for help with their cars, repair work around the house and money when they are in need. And if I throw what they said in their face, somehow I come off as the jerk.
I learned that no one will sympathize with me and make excuses on my behalf for my shortcomings. I have to figure things out and just do it.
You’re on your own.
Nobody cares
Your happiness comes last.
You’re here to work- so get to it.
Your feelings don’t matter. You have to earn the right for people to give a fuck about you. Im often the bad guy and you have to take it on the chin. People expect you to sacrifice because you’re a man.
I am the one that determines what a good life or being a good man is. Not externally by anyone else. I am in control of the type of life that is good for ME.
A lot of gloom ITT, as always.
A good feeling: I get to do basically whatever I want with my resources. I have started a nerf blaster club; I get to make the rules, schedule it and introduce my friends to my favorite hobby. And that’s like the lite-est version of manly leadership. There’s some stress about running something, but I can bring in a friend to help with leadership, or make it as easy or hard as I want.
I also become responsible at work; yeah it kind of sucks to have the stress, but also being an expert at something rocks. When you can do hard and complex on your own without guidance, and it works; that’s being a man.