My wife and I are traveling, but I arrived in the city a week earlier for work. I’ve been staying at an airbnb, and once she gets here, we’re moving into a hotel together for the rest of the trip.
I haven’t rented a car, so I’ve been using Uber to get around. When she told me her arrival time, I suggested she just take an Uber from the airport to the hotel instead of me coming to pick her up because it would mean I’d have to Uber to the airport, then Uber again to the hotel with her. It felt like an unnecessary loop. She also knows the city well – we actually lived here for a year a couple of years ago, so she’s totally familiar with the airport and how to get around.
I thought it made more logistical sense, but she was really upset when I suggested this.
AITA for not picking her up from the airport?
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My wife and I are traveling, but I arrived in the city a week earlier for work. I’ve been staying at an airbnb, and once she gets here, we’re moving into a hotel together for the rest of the trip.
I haven’t rented a car, so I’ve been using Uber to get around. When she told me her arrival time, I suggested she just take an Uber from the airport to the hotel instead of me coming to pick her up because it would mean I’d have to Uber to the airport, then Uber again to the hotel with her. It felt like an unnecessary loop. She also knows the city well – we actually lived here for a year a couple of years ago, so she’s totally familiar with the airport and how to get around.
I thought it made more logistical sense, but she was really upset when I suggested this.
AITA for not picking her up from the airport?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Info: as a woman, does she feel unsafe getting into an Uber alone?
If it is important for her to have you meet her at the airport, take the extra Uber ride. You really don’t want to die on that hill.
you’re already eating expenses to take your wife with you on a work venture, you really can’t afford an extra uber trip? sure it’s redundant, but your literal life partner expressed she’d prefer you be there and expressed distress when you said you wouldn’t – if your shared comfort isn’t worth the extra $50-100 bucks, you need to reevaluate your priorities. YTA. write it off as a work expense if you’re actually that broke, man.
I might not be the best person to answer this, because I have never really understood why anyone needs to be picked up or dropped off at an airport, generally one of the easiest places to find public transportation, usually of a variety of types, and also all too often requiring travel through very busy streets to get to. I make an exception for the kind of small rural airport located a long distance from one’s destination, and sometimes lacking in other transportation. I’ve always thought it was really inconsiderate to expect someone to pick me up or drop me off, but I’ve gathered from similar posts that many people don’t share my opinions on this.
About the comment about women being in danger in Ubers; I must say I’m a woman and have used all kinds of public transportation, although Ubers only recently arrived in my city, so I don’t have experience with them. Sure, there’s a risk, but not enough to stop me from using public transportation.
NAH. You’ve suggested something many would find reasonable – I have many friends who’ve stayed with me over the years, and they’ve been happy to make their way from the airport to my home. OTOH, your wife has a preference for being met on arrival – I like this myself, as it feels like “home”, somehow, even when I know I’m able to get to my destination on my own (and have done so in the past.)
You don’t say how long you’ve been married. If it’s been a long time, I wonder how you’ve managed to not be aware of her preferences…
NTA for me. Altough Im a programmer and yeah logical things…
If shes afraid of taking an uber alone and its dark maybe just pick her up.
For me personally it makes no sense whatsoever.
Yes
Lucky you OP – today you learned your wife is a travelling princess.
NTA
One would anticipate an adult can navigate a city by herself. NTA
It really depends on your relationship. I’d go ahead and meet her, but have a good conversation about it later. Maybe she feels anxious, or knows she’ll be overwhelmed by the time she gets there. I don’t think you‘re the AH, but I don’t think she is either. Just talk to her.
My wife is an experienced traveler (journalist) and very competent. She would’ve been fine with taking the Uber. It’s a reasonable logistical step.
Except if it were a romantic getaway, she might prefer to be “taken care of.” And I would not hesitate to do that if I thought it meant the romance would be better because she had less to worry about.
You don’t say whether the trip is business or pleasure, but if the latter, you’re shooting yourself in the foot by not making things as easy as possible for her. You’ll reap the rewards later. NTA, but it would be to your own advantage to remove as many obstacles to romance as you can for her.
YTA for treating this like “logic” instead of like someone you love, miss, and want to see as soon as you can. Sure, she *can* navigate to the hotel, but she *wants* to see you, and you’re rejecting that. Way to go, chief.
YTA because you are putting convenience and pure logic ahead of the courtesy and romance of meeting one’s beloved when she arrives in a new city to meet you. Whether it makes “sense” or not, it is a chivalrous gesture that many appreciate from partners, friends and business colleagues. It is courteous and kind, and it shows respect and care.
Of course, she can get a cab or uber. That’s not the point. It’s like saying it makes more sense and saves time to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner instead of a three course home-cooked meal.
Sure, but life can be made more lovely and enjoyable when we observe certain habits and even courtesies towards one another. Even if they take more time and are more elaborate and unnecessary.
NTA
YTA for making your wife feel less than. Are you even excited to see her? Geez dude. A simple action by you could have made your wife feel so loved. Now she just feels disappointed in you.
NTA because I’m sure if rolls were reversed you wouldn’t ask your wife to pick you up at the airport.
NTA
My husband and I do this all the time and we always just meet up where we’re staying. He would look at me like I was crazy if I suggested he take an uber to the airport to pick me up. That seems like such a pain in the ass lol.
Pick your wife up. Yeh it might not be “logical” or whatever but it’s little things like this that make a difference in a marriage.
As a woman NTA, if you had a car then id maybe be upset but it makes no sense to go out of the way to uber with her when she can do it herself.
get a new wife
NAH
You’re thinking of practical logistics. She’s thinking she wants to see her partner asap & that they’d be excited to see her asap.
NTA but make an edit with the fact that you’ve already got a work meeting that changes everything
Info- is she well traveled or comfortable traveling or does she travel solo often? Is she traveling through not great areas? Is she getting in at a very late hour?
Personally I’ve (F) been traveling solo globally since I was 11 so I rarely have travel anxiety but there are some situations that would make me nervous
NTA but does your wife know you don’t have a rental car? If that piece of information is missing for her, that could explain her reaction.
NTA: Does the hotel have a free shuttle? She could just take that. Or you could take the shuttle to the airport and then take it back with your wife.
Bring flowers and make it an event.
NTA – her idea literally makes zero sense.
NAH
You’re not wrong about the convenience. Probably a different delivery might have had her agreeing with you. She may have just felt like you weren’t excited to see her or you thought she was a bother to pick up.
No one’s the AH, but it’s a nice gesture to meet your partner or loved one at the airport, and it shows you’re excited to see them. It sounds like you’re more of a practical person, and your wife sounds more romantic and sensitive.
Also, she might need help with her luggage.
Your wife’s feelings are worth the extra Uber ride even if it seems unnecessary to you.
NTA and edit your post to say that you have a business during the time of her arrival.
INFO How far/long is the trip from the
AirBnB to the airport? And how often do you travel without her?