The background: I live alone in a small apartment building. Yesterday I had a bit of a spat with a woman in the laundry room. She had been using all 4 machines in the room. I saw that she had more clothes on top of the washer ready to put in, but her current cycle was done, so I removed her clothes and put them on top of the washer and put mine in. She came down as I was doing this and was very upset with me. We didn’t talk much but it was clear she was angry. I’m sure it was nuanced who it was in the right there but that’s not the main story.
45 mins later I went down to get my laundry, and her husband (twice my size btw) ran out of their apartment and started screaming at me on the stairs. He had either heard my footsteps or was waiting for me. He was repeatedly yelling at the top of his lungs, “don’t touch our clothes,” and pointing at me. He kept saying something to the effect of “If you do it again I’ll show you why you shouldn’t.” I don’t remember what exactly came after “If you do it again I’ll…” because I blacked out a little, but it was some vague threat and he said it multiple times. He was getting closer to me/in my face, so I started walking down the stairs to get away from him and he followed me, still yelling. I asked him not to talk to me like that and he said “I’ll talk to you however I want.” He was so angry I actually thought he might hit me. Eventually his wife came out and told him to stop. I was shaking and hyperventilating after all that. It was very scary.
Later the wife found me and apologized for him “being an ass” and that she would “talk to him.” I was like bro it’s more than that. He can’t do that. I emailed the management company for my building and so far all they’ve said is “we regret the laundry room interaction. We will reach out to both parties to discuss laundry room civility.” I followed up stressing that that wasn’t the point and CCed a few more people. I figured out his name (he’s a trumper, shocking). Is this worthy of filing a police report, or should I just wait to see what the management says? What would you all do in this situation?
Tl;DR; male neighbor screamed at and (super vaguely) threatened me in the hallway about a laundry misunderstanding. What should I do?
Comments
He followed you yelling and screaming at you and threatened you multiple times. I would file a report with the police at least. If he escalates past here or you have more issues it’s already on record.
Omg definitely with filling a police report. Ida called 911 during the guys tantrum fuck that shit
Omg this was so sad to read! I’m sorry you went through that. That sounded terrifying. I imagined myself in your shoes, and I think I would responded the same way. You were calm and stood your ground as best you could.
He threatened you. Make a report to the police. They won’t do anything but when he does it again you’ll have a record of it. He lay in wait for you and physically threatened you. This man is dangerous. Whenever you see him or his wife get out your phone and start recording.
What he did might qualify as assault if it put you in reasonable fear of bodily harm. Might be worth it to call police and make a report.
File the police report. The police will probably try to brush it off and you will have to reassure the officer that you don’t expect them to do anything, you just want to document the interaction. Build the paper trail in case this escalates to the point that you want to get a restraining order.
Keep your phone in your hand when your in the hallway and laundry room
Carry your phone with you and start recording if he does it again. Request management put security cameras in common areas.
If you file a report they will have to talk with him, and possibly arrest him or give him a ticket with court date for threatening.then you will need a restraining order after they. Make contact with him. I would expect it to escalate after the report. He’s could go crazy on you.if you report and he could go crazy if you don’t. . Myself I would not touch his laundry or anyone else’s. Maybe he was having a bad day or maybe every day is bad.
Definitely should not have been using all the machines, that’s just a plain asshole move on their part. Add to that the husband, who has probably never done the laundry, coming out and just screaming is more bs. If management isn’t going to take it seriously, then file a report based on him making threats. The fact that he laid in wait for you is scary on it’s own. If you’re able start looking for somewhere else to live because if they aren’t going to take the safety of their tenants seriously than that is somewhere I would not keep giving my money to.
A large man like that knows what he is doing. He intentionally intimidated you, he sounds like he enjoyed it and would enjoy an escalation. This isn’t about you or the clothes but his rage. Be careful, get pepper spray (hold it in your hand) and when/if he gets angry your best defense is to not feed his anger. What this looks like is talking to him like a wounded animal, speak softly and non confrontationally you need to bring him down not up.
The advice was for a worst case scenario, obviously report him to the police and avoid him at all costs. Just if you are cornered w no way out your best bet (imho from experience) is to deescalate his rage.
Please call the police to file a report against him and start carrying a deterrent with you. A man that does this is not ok and you have every right to protect yourself. A random fact, wasp spray can reach up to 5 feet and is sticky. The residue sticks to make sure the nest gets dosed in the spray. It’s a common household item and unlike pepper spray isn’t considered a premeditated weapon. Random right?