People see my height and automatically assume I’m in middle/ early high school (12-15 range). No matter how I dress, even if I wear a button-down and SUIT they always seem to think this. Does anyone have any ideas of what I could do to not present myself as a child, ESPECIALLY from the back, where most people approach me and are confused. I’ve worn makeup and heels and people are always mistaking me because of my height. I never do pigtails or anything else very “childish”. I have highlights in my hair. I’ve tried avoiding graphic tees and opting for cardigans, adult dresses, polos, etc in a futile attempt. I don’t know what to do. I work with youths as well, so it can lead to many awkward conversations, and I get told to “get back to class”, “you should be at lunch right now” etc. It may be a little funny, but incredibly frustrating to explain that I’m “just short” “I work here” 5 times a day with people not believing me.
5′ 21 year old-how do I keep people from thinking I’m a kid?
r/Advice
Comments
You’ll appreciate looking so young in the future.
I’m 26, people think I’m 20 (which is an improvement, I was getting 15-16 a couple years ago). My suggestion is hitting the gym. A small muscle volume change can make a difference in making your silhouette look older. Besides this and dressing appropriately for your age, not much you can do. Try to enjoy looking young!
Could you grow a beard?
Big hat?
Carry a 40 with you.
Start smoking cigarettes, get a drinking habit, and stand in the sun for hours a day
I’d suggest shopping at a clothing store that has several middle aged women working there and ask them to pick a few outfits for you. They’ve been around for a while and seen all kinds of situations, so their experience would be valuable.
BTW, short chicks are totally cool.
Confidence is taller than height. Walk tall, speak with authority, smile like you know a secret they don’t. Short or not, you’re an adult and no one can take that from you!
Are you sure it’s not your face instead of your height? I understand from behind people would assume that, but if they’re looking at you directly and still think that, I think it’s less your height, and more your face.
I’m the same way, some people assume I’m 16 when they see my face, despite heading into my mid-twenties.
Get tattoos. I also look extremely young and am 5’2″ which doesn’t help but getting tattoos makes people think I’m at least 18 and stops them from thinking I’m a high schooler
So, unfortunately in your case there’s not much you can do. Embrace your youth while you still have it though, would be my first advice.
But specifically to your point, I think dressing up may be hurting you. When I see a younger person trying to dress subjectively older I automatically assume teenager. Only their parents would make this young person wear a suit and cardigan.
Wear what you feel comfortable in. F what anyone else thinks
Extreme but get a tattoo. Honestly 5 foot tall while short isnt to much out of the range of a female adult. You probably have the young face to go with it whick is very cool. I substitute taught for a while when i was younger and got the lets see your hall pass get to class more then once. I even wrote a pass in front of a security guard and ended up in the principals office
My BIL had an endocrine disorder and looked like he was 17 when he was 30, and it really bothered him. No ONE believed he was 30, unles sthey knew him.
I’m afraid it is going to take time, and you don’t say if you’re male or female.
If you are male and can grow facial hair, that might help. Personally, I’d try to care less what others think. I use to dater a gal under 5′ and she embraced it….rocked it even…and it was funny how many times another short girl would come talk to her and ask her height.
I am also vertically challenged. This was something that made me CRAZY when I started working (I work with youth.) Often I would be mistaken for my clients. There were a few times early in my career that I was turned away from activities bc they thought I was lying about being the adult in the group (it didn’t help that I had forgotten my work ID that day.) One of my supervisors told me that presenting young was a gift. Not all people will be perceived as young at a mature age. I should see this as a gift that helps me better connect with my clients bc they see my youthful appearance & it tricks their young brains to think I am an equal to them. I also got tattoos & started going gray in my late 20s. People still claim I look young but I don’t see it anymore.
Show them ur ID
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’m almost 30 5’2”, I have 3 children. When I have all of them at store with me including my oldest (10) I have people ask me all the time “are all of them yours? You look so young. You can’t be older than 18” I typically reply with “yes they are mine. No, I am not 18 I actually had my oldest at 18. I’ll be 30 next year” almost every time their jaws hit the floor and they say “oh wow, good job mama your doing good”
Wear what you like, love. Im 25, and I often get mistaken for a teenager. Im 5’4″ and overweight, so I have a chubby face.
I’ve found that people tend to think im older when I do my makeup (especially if I contour). I wear heels occasionally, but I have it easier with a desk job most days. I only wear the “fancy” stuff like cardigans and blouses, skirts and dresses, if im going to work. Otherwise, I’m still rocking my favorite merch. Baby Yoda (Grogu), galaxy print, florals, gothic styles, etc, whatever I’m in the mood for that day.
I promise (as someone with literally no self-esteem unless im manic af) once you have the confidence of wearing what you want and when you want, the comments will die down a lotttt. Hold your head up high. There are people who are legally considered little people who wear whatever they want, whenever they want. They dont let people who are assholes and assuming shit continue to think that way. Why should you? (idk what the height actually is to certify you as a little person. With only curiosity in mind and not offense, would you qualify? I think my sister in law qualifies as she’s 3’4″).
As for coworkers thinking you’re a child, if you have time, play along with one or two. Play into the bit that you’re a student the next time someone doesn’t believe you. Have them take you to the office to discover what your class schedule is “because Im new” and when the office sees your teachers badge or asks why you’re there amd not doing something constructive, tell them the guidance counselor needs to see a confused “student” and point to the teacher. Upon being prompted why; explain that it isn’t in your job description to have to prove your age to everyone who thinks they’re entitled to it. If you dont have a badge (I find that odd, most schools do for faculty), I’d recommend asking for one so that you can flash the badge and call it a day. No explaining is needed. If the office sees that this has become a big enough issue, they’re usually willing to help in my experience. A big enough issue is “wasting valuable time and resources” in most cases. Good luck!
Platform shoes and tattoos!!
I’m assuming you’re a woman; since you mentioned makeup and heels.
I would aim for removing hair accessories. except for ties for pony tails most hair accessories tend to be “childish” in look. Makeup can help, but so can dress. most kids don’t wear stockings, so dark tone stockings, thigh length skirts, silk blouses. all are adult and something no 12yo would wear.
just checked your profile, and saw the photos on your other post. you do look young, but the hair style and accessories definitely are hurting you. your clothing in those photos don’t help either. while they’re fine for your age they’re also fine for a kid. outside of that, you do look young in the face. so your dress and hairstyle probably won’t help much, you could try more adult glasses. wire frames maybe?
Stand in the sun 12 hours a day and get wrinkles
I read that as 5” 21 year old at first. Was very confused lol. I was like you as well. I’m 30 now and no matter what i did, people always thought i was waaay younger than i am. I was being carded for years. You can only do so much. I find the way you carry yourself as opposed to how you look works better.
I used to work with a woman that presented as teen like due to her height and figure (lack there of, I mean she was mid 20s with the physique of a 14 year old boy). Her mannerisms were that of an adult though so once you spoke to her you knew she was one. Granted we worked in a place devoid of actual children so adult conversations, complete with crude language, was common. And she definitely was adept at that. So … I don’t know … Start cussing more,lol.
Fake mustache & smoke cigarettes
Glue on a beard. Works every time!
I just looked at your profile, and in my opinion, its really not your height. It’s your clothes. I know plenty of women your size and similar looking to you who are perceived as their age (or at least as 19-20). My best advice is to go out, look for women who are similar stature and appearance as you, and see what kind of clothes theyre wearing. Lotssss of women are 5’
Have you thought about, idk, wearing your teacher badge ?
Stop worrying about what other people think, answers to life’s questions aren’t found on Reddit.
I’m 4′ 11″ and have gotten mistaken for a kid at work (I work in a middle school). I once had a new security guard rip me a new one for being a “student” and trying to walk into the teachers’ lounge 🤣 he was very apologetic when I showed him my ID. It won’t work all of the time if they’re not visible, but I suggest getting tattoos if you are into the look and your workplace allows! Even a few small dainty ones will hopefully have people putting two and two together.
I think you should use it. So many people look like they’re 50 and they are really 30 and they wish they looked like they were 20.
You don’t. There’s really nothing you can do.
I am a 29f 5’1 with this issue and I don’t really care. I think it’s kinda funny. Especially when I whip out a few sweet arm tats. When people call me out for it enough my boyfriend tends to worry he looks like a creeper. I also hold an important role at work so their minds are blown when they think a teenager is in charge.
When I was in my mid-20’s pedos constantly bothered me. Thank god I finally put on weight because now everyone leaves me blissfully alone!
I have had this my entire life and am old enough to appreciate it… now.
I still remember a bitter old tart who couldn’t mind her own business challenged me in a club and not in a nice way. When I told her I was 18 she retorted “I suppose when you’re 50 you’ll look 30”. She was right, but also dead by the time I reached 50.
Joke’s on her.
I got this for many years too! lol. I’m 5’ tall and genetically we look young in my family!
Makeup and hair can go a long way. Get your stylist to help you pick out a hairstyle common for ladies in their 30s, and then book a makeover with an experienced MUA and explain your goals to them.
I know that this feels like pointless advice that older people give, especially when you’re not being taken seriously and are being treated differently based on your appearance but just try to embrace it and appreciate it. I was in the same boat. I remember I got stopped by the police at 20 for “truancy” when I was walking back from baby sitting at my sisters house. I’d constantly get shocked replies about my age when I was carded, for years. I’m not even short. I’m actually taller than the average American woman haha. And now I’m almost 40 and while I definitely don’t look like a teenager any more and I rarely get carded, I am STILL presumed to be much younger and people totally change the way they talk to me once they realize I’m not just older, I’m much older than them lol. It’s annoying but it’s truly more of a reflection of the person who would treat somebody different based on their perceived age/maturity, which I find to be an interesting barometer of people’s personalities. Generally I know to avoid those people further. And hey, I guess I just look good for my age, and so will you.
Chug a bottle of alcohol in front of them
I’m in my 40’s. You are still a kid. You’ll eventually look older. People thought I was in highschool until I hit my 30’s.
I’m 5’4 & 47 & get mistaken for a middle schooler at school all the time. Even by the kids…. The office staff tried to give me a late pass one day. (I’m the speech therapist so not there full time). If you find the answer let me know
Enjoy it while you can!
I’m 42 and my age is catching up, so I have grey hair and some crow’s feet, but I still look at least 10 years younger than I actually am, and act at least 20 years younger than I actually am.
Go to the salon and ask for a shorter haircut. Find something super trendy in Vogue or on instagram that someone in high fashion (not a super famous influencer) has. You want to get something that will be cool, not something that is currently what everyone on TikTok has because that’s how all the middle/high school kids look.
Go to a high end hair stylist. They will give you a better haircut, especially if you tell them you want to look older. They will know exactly what to do.
Be prepared to drop over $150 for this haircut, and make sure it’s one you can get away will growing out for six months so you don’t have to keep going in for expensive maintenance appointments.
I also suggest getting balayage or highlights of some sort. If your hair color is pretty sandy or all one color, it can make you look younger.
I’m the same height as you and I had to wear my hair fairly short in a bob or lob for a while, especially when I started teaching middle/high school. Like I basically had to get a super trendy haircut to not look like I was in high school. Now that I’m 33 (and still get carded like every time I get a drink), I can finally have longer hair past my shoulders again.
Also, ways to dress would also stop buying things on SHEIN and other random TikTok trends and start buying high quality items that you can use to make something called a capsule wardrobe. There is a subreddit dedicated to creating a capsule wardrobe. This is a type of wardrobe where you only buy h to wings that are timeless and instead to wear for years instead of for a few months.
Shoes can be hard if you have very tiny feet. When I was your age, I bought three pairs of very nice shoes to rotate for going out occasions, and stuck with cheaper sneakers for everyday.
Unfortunately, the answer is buying higher end clothes and getting a higher end haircut. Focus on looking older from magazines and not from TikTok. Find influencers who are in their mid-twenties or early thirties and follow their trends. You don’t want to take fashion advice from the same influencer as a fifteen year-old even if the influencer is your age. The kids will just copy that influencer and you will end up dressing like the kids, too.
Happy shopping.
Edit to add: I still get mistaken for teens all the time (I work with middle schoolers), but it’s usually if im going into the adult only bathroom and someone only sees me from behind, if I’m sitting down in the classroom and another adult walks in and doesn’t notice me, or if I’m wearing jeans to work and standing in a crowd of kids. You cannot get away with jeans like 28 year old teachers yet. Always wear a badge. Don’t do the makeup trends the kids do. Avoid jeans and casual clothes. Long dresses are trendy for all ages right now, so I would avoid that too.
You might have to end up shopping at “older lady” stores like Loft, Madewell, or Everlane. I like wearing the Everlane barrel pants. Some kids (whose parents are in their forties), tell me “My mom has those pants.”
Yes, you unfortunately need to dress like these kids Mom to avoid these problems. But be a cool mom? It gets me more respect from the kids, too.
My Mom was 4’9”. Well into adulthood she was occasionally mistaken as a teenager. Sometimes you just have to be a duck and let stuff roll off – people aren’t going to suddenly stop making assumptions. I encourage you to be dressing (and living) for yourself.