39 weeks pregnant and struggling with MIL yet again. While she lives across the country, i am not confident she will give us our requested space around the birth. We tried to be proactive by hosting her at 33 weeks and letting her know she can come one week after the birth to meet the baby (there is a planned religious ceremony 8 days after birth, which she has requested to host with our blessing).
Today my husband woke up to a text asking if he was up. We said yes, not knowing what she had in mind. She immediately called and started talking about booking her flights for right after my due date. We blocked her attempts to do this a few weeks ago. She escalated into screaming about how she is going to do what she wants to do and how we can’t stop her from coming to the city. My husband was very firm and kept reiterating that we cannot guarantee that we will see her. She literally had a breakdown on the phone, shouting about how she may never see the baby and may just never meet the kid. My husband didn’t really respond but let her scream it out.
Y’all I am baffled. I am grateful he stood firm in the boundaries but I am lowkey worried what happens if she actually flies out here before the baby was born. A few years ago she groped my boobs at a wedding and it was really traumatic for awhile (see my post history if you want). I don’t want her anywhere near me during labor and (in an ideal world) I would prefer she not even know when I go into labor.
I am also torn on what to do if she does come early to our city. On one hand, I don’t want to be unnecessarily ridged and say we/my husband can’t see her. On the other hand I am really concerned that if we do see her (after asking multiple times for space) that we are setting a precedent for bullying to get her way.
At the request of my husband, I am trying so hard to be at least cordial with her. But i really just want to let her know her behavior is wildly inappropriate. I don’t feel like that is my place but it drives me absolutely up the wall that no one in her life tells her that screaming and bullying is unacceptable.
How do you think we should interact with her if she shows up in our city?