Men who are considered unattractive, what advice can you give to my ugly friend??

r/

This guy goes around to different places by himself and asks out as many girls as possible, he asks out 50-60 girls a month and got rejected EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. even the uglies have rejected him. When I told him I go to my local Uni, he said I might “see him around there” since he’s going to try and pick up girls there. He’s chopped & awkward as can be. I know all those rejections can’t be good for his mental, any advice on what to tell him

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    This guy goes around to different places by himself and asks out as many girls as possible, he asks out 50-60 girls a month and got rejected EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. even the uglies have rejected him. When I told him I go to my local Uni, he said I might “see him around there” since he’s going to try and pick up girls there. He’s chopped & awkward as can be. I know all those rejections can’t be good for his mental, any advice on what to tell him

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  2. shipyardworker1 Avatar

    What is the ultimate goal of asking out all these women?

  3. Oo_Syndrom_oO Avatar

    Maybe try goi….sorry he that UGLY. Can’t help.

  4. the99percent1 Avatar

    Wow, that’s a lot of girls he has asked out. He must be so natural in chatting with women now. – that is a skill worth its weight in its own self. Why would it disheartened him? It takes great courage and balls to approach that many women and face rejection without any fear in his eyes. I’d be proud of him. He may appear to be awkward and silly but he is already a “warrior” in my eyes.

    My advice? it’s a numbers game. So Just keep at it and in the meantime hit the gym, get a degree, work on making more money, improve his looks and live his life free as if he is unencumbered and nobody is stopping him from doing anything that he enjoys and likes.

    And you know what happens next? Women will naturally be drawn into and gravitate towards him. He will be swimming in so much pussy that he won’t even know what to do with it.

  5. PIPIN3D1 Avatar

    First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women.

  6. Wholesome_STEM_guy Avatar

    That there is more to life than chasing women. He should focus on things which are under his control. Dating and relationships are typically not in his hands, but studying, working out, playing any sports, video games, reading books, learning new language etc are things which can do and are in his control.

  7. WhereisCovfefe Avatar

    Being funny, confident, or even just getting your fat ass to the gym will make it matter so much less

  8. Main-Extreme6534 Avatar

    Damn!! Maybe im not as ugly as I thought. This year, I had like 4 dates lined up. Im still pretty ugly tho.

  9. ProfessorOilNGas Avatar

    I’m very sorry. It’s over.

  10. DryNanny Avatar

    Feel like being funny and having good banter will get you further than looks alone. Also would recommend try not to approach women by himself…maybe find a hobby that gets him out of the house. Or go out with friends and then public interactions could more naturally lead to a connection

  11. abigjackass Avatar

    Get used to it

  12. Gecarthas Avatar

    “Even the uglies have rejected him” 😭. I mean there’s so many chopped dudes bagging fine shyt it’s actually disgusting. This man is dealing with a serious skill issue, tell him to learn conversation and broaden his emotional intelligence. Presence matters, the aura you project matters and how/what you say/do at the right time to garner interest from another person matters. These skills can come with age if one is apt enough and not borderline autistic but even then some autists actually slang mad dick…

  13. _FalcoSparverius Avatar

    Learn. To. Dance.

    Seriously, if you have confidence and know how to dance you’ll always be okay, I really don’t care how unattractive you are. Swing dance, line dance, salsa dance, modern get out there and shake your ass dance…..

    If you know how to dance well and radiate confidence on the floor you will never be lonely. Go start taking lessons. Being a good and confident dancer is a life long bonus.

  14. chunkylabrat Avatar

    Go to therapy. My friend was like that. He’s perception of the world was pretty wrong due to be constantly validated by friends and family.

  15. xaeru Avatar

    Just tell him to stop thinking about girls and stop comparing himself to other guys. Yeah, both easier said than done, but seriously that shit gets you nowhere.

    He should use all that energy to focus on himself. Pick up some hobbies, get into stuff he actually enjoys. Play a sport, join social activities, go hiking, join a bird photography group, learn to cook, whatever he’s into. Just get out there and do things that make him feel good, not stuff just to get girls.

    And for the love of god, tell him to just be himself. You can be fucking ugly, man, but if people get to know you they will find you attractive.

  16. angry-southamerican Avatar

    He’s clearly not as smooth as he should be in conversations.

    Also, how high are his standards? Because if he’s been talking only to 7’s and above and he’s a 3… That’s a problem.

  17. Slipguard Avatar

    Don’t be so direct. You can’t ask that many people out without just walking up to them. People need a sense of who you are and the fun qualities about you. They need to connect personally with you. So explore hobbies that are social and maybe take some skill. Dancing, rock climbing, pottery, hacking, tabletop gaming, volunteering, theater, etc. something so you can connect with people on a real level.

    Imagine this from her perspective: some random person (doesn’t matter too much how they look) just asks “Wanna go out, have some fun?” You have no idea what kind of fun he’s suggesting, but what you do know is he’s not interested in your interests. I know I wouldn’t go out with a girl who asked me out like that.

  18. FastWalkingShortGuy Avatar

    Stop trying so hard. If you’re putting yourself out there, like going out and talking to people, the people who are interested in you will come to you.

    This begs a bare minimum of social skills, so if he doesn’t have that, he’s kinda fucked.

    But if you’re not Quasimodo, and in your 20s, you need to have a seriously repulsive personality not to get lucky.

  19. Em1-_- Avatar

    Tell him to do the helicopter, b tches love the helicopter, if that doesn’t gets him girls nothing will.

  20. BackSeatGremlin Avatar

    Tell him to groom himself and get in shape.

  21. Dan-Fletcher Avatar

    He has to learn to love himself, first.

  22. GhettoAssDuck Avatar

    Tbh with some of those it might not even be about looks but just that hes socially awkward to where they HAVE to say no

  23. undeadliftmax Avatar

    One. Get absolutely ripped. Competition ripped. I know, you are rolling your eyes. You’ve heard this a million times. Wait for next parts.

    Two. Get super into cosplay. Especially ren faire stuff. Work on sexy monster ripped costume. Pig nose? Tusks? Horns? Yes, yes, and yes.

    Three. Attend ren faires. Seek out the monster smut girls. Profit. Seriously ren faires are super horny,

  24. El-Viking Avatar

    Three options. Get richer. Lower his standards. Get funnier.

    The second two options go a long way and are a lot easier.

  25. GRIFFCOMM Avatar

    do something that benefits you, either do something you enjoy or that makes you money

  26. natedog63 Avatar

    Maybe tell him to stop asking out every woman he sees

  27. Dexember69 Avatar

    A root is just a flash wank.

  28. beattusthymeatus Avatar

    Stop trying to pick up girls. I’m chubby, poor, Bald, sub six feet, and my Johnson is average at best. I have a really hot wife, and even before I met her, I never had a problem dating women because I didn’t go looking for a date.

    Learn to be happy with who you are on your own, and you’ll eventually meet someone who wants you most women like people who are genuinely happy.

    I wasn’t always the most content person, but after I accepted myself for who I am, it became much easier to make friends, and many of those friendships developed into relationships.

    constantly trying to pick up women makes you look desperate and weird, especially if all these women go to the same school or are at similar events they’ll talk to each other. Pickup culture just doesn’t work as well for people who aren’t conventually attractive

  29. HouselessGamer Avatar
    • pick a dress style that works for him (look at mens magazine or GQ for some examples)
    • smell nice. For example I use a deodorant that smells like vanilla and shea and passion fruit smoothie shampoo. Lots of compliments & makes a easy ice breaker when in line at stores or walking by women.(on the other hand there is women who like stronger manly scents)

    These personally has worked for me as easy ice breakers and getting attention. If he wants to test a look, he can use r/selfie and see if any woman responds or the amount of ‘likes’

    Edit: typo

  30. Swordmr4 Avatar

    Doesn’t really work around that age range without social groups. Either apps or pretty fked 

  31. siderinc Avatar

    Seems like the chase is way to extreme.

  32. CremasterReflex Avatar

    Cultivate more friendships and widen his social circle. It’s better to be the unattractive dude who everyone knows and likes than the unattractive outcast with a dating strategy copied from the jehovahs witnesses

  33. hunter_hahaa Avatar

    Start going to the gym. Not only will you physically look better, but your social circle might widen too. Eat healthy only drink water. If you like an occasional beer or soda that’s fine, but if you have a habit get rid of it immediately

  34. MatchLock__ Avatar

    Nobody is ugly

  35. goingmerry604 Avatar

    Get mega jacked, get mega confident, become mega fucking funny, get a buttloada hobbies, enjoy your company… oh shit you enjoy your company too much

  36. cut_my_wrist Avatar

    Don’t lose hope check out adriana lima and his first husband 💀

  37. Lim0zine Avatar

    To women, looks matter much less than they do to men. If he’s constantly rejected, it’s almost certainly due to factors other than just a lack of handsome features. Women are more into hygiene, style, fitness, and personality, and all of these are features he has more control over than his raw looks. If he will improve in these areas he’ll strike out less.

  38. Artistic-Ask291 Avatar

    Depends on the age.

  39. OrphanKripler Avatar

    If this is really true, then the problem isn’t his appearance. Nobody is truly ugly unless it’s some wild deformity from a crazy accident or disease.

    The real problem is his approach and presentation. When I say Presentation i don’t mean his appearance I mean how he carry’s himself. He probably comes off really desperate, pushy, rushy, suffocating, cornering and most likely creepy.

    No amount of working out or any of that changing appearance crap is going to help him if his interactions are garbage.

    With THIS many rejections it’s time to find the common factor and see that he’s the problem rather than blaming woman for not wanting any of what he’s offering.

  40. PartyNo3444 Avatar

    Don’t be so hard with yourself 

  41. JungleBoyJeremy Avatar

    He’s probably unintentionally putting out creepy vibes. He should dial back his aggressive approach and try to target women that have similar interests as him

  42. GamingFarang Avatar

    How does he dress?

    Is he fat or fit?

    Does your “friend” know how to even talk to people like a normal human?

  43. Nuxanatur Avatar

    Alright, first off, the word ugly? That’s harsh 😂 But okay, let’s roll with it. Seriously. People vibe with how you carry yourself way more than what’s on your face. Tell your “ugly” friend this:; Work on your style—clean clothes that fit well go a long way. Smell good. Like, actually. That’s underrated. Have a sense of humor. Be the person people love to be around. And please—don’t try to be someone else. Be you, just the best, most unbothered version.A pro-tip to glow-up and stand out? Self-confidence is the key! 👀

  44. BonusForAllSeasons Avatar

    As others have said, if he’s getting rejected at that clip regularly then his issue likely isn’t appearance. It’s presentation or absolute negative rizz. Honestly, I’d say your friend has a GOOD THING going for him in that most of our young lads are so pussified of rejection that they won’t even risk a damn 3pt shot nowadays. Your buddy now has an excellent framework of being immune to rejection that he can build on with the other solid advice in here.

  45. el_pinko_grande Avatar

    I’m not considered unattractive, but I would never, ever take the approach your friend is, because it basically guarantees getting shot down.

    Girls aren’t stupid– they know a guy behaving that way is hitting on everything that looks remotely female, and girls generally want to be wanted for who they actually are. If they think you’re just looking for a hole to stick your dick in, they’re not gonna be impressed.

    Much better to cultivate a social circle that includes actual women and let relationships develop organically. Women who would ignore you if you try to talk them up at a bar will be a lot more receptive if they’ve known you for a while and have a sense of who you are as a person– assuming they like what they’ve seen of you as they’ve gotten to know you better.

  46. horizons190 Avatar

    >he asks out 50-60 girls a month and got rejected EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

    I know they say “it’s a numbers game” but for people like him who suck it’s better to start with quality over quantity, until he gets smoother. So tone down the desperation and numbers and pick more like 5, focus on getting to know the girl (but not as “just a friend”).

    >He’s chopped & awkward as can be.

    Need to know a bit more. He’s ugly, how? Awkward, how? If he’s this bad, maybe he needs to chill out from the asking out and focus on improving two areas, then getting back into the game.

  47. WebNew9978 Avatar

    Well first stop asking 50-60 women each month. It’s a sign (unintentional or not) that he sees women as objects and not people. That creeps women out.

    He should probably accept the possibility that he’ll never have a romantic life.

    Edit: I’m saying this as a 30 year old universally ugly guy who’s always been rejected and never had a woman interested in me that way either.

  48. SleeplessShinigami Avatar

    Did he min/max his looks/outfits already? Even if you’re ugly, you gotta max your stats first if you want to even stand a chance.

    Second, I would tell him to stop cold approaching. Even for average dudes, this hardly works. He needs to join more groups and aim to just be friends with women first. If he has a decent personality, then over time it might turn into something else.

    Third, he can just let go. A lot of men have these days, because you come to the realization that you just aren’t what women want. It’s okay, not the end of the world. You get all this free time to go and do whatever you want, whenever you want. That freedom is amazing.

  49. Flying_Fortress_8743 Avatar

    I’m not ugly, but also not attractive, so take my advice with a grain of salt:

    Give up. Make platonic female friends. Close female friends can provide a level of non sexual intimacy that helps a lot mentally. If you make it very clear you’re not interested in sex, girls won’t go “eww” and run away screaming. You’ll be in the friend zone, but that’s the whole point. Girls will happily be friends with ugly guys as long as it’s very clear you’re not interested sexually or romantically.

    For emotional connection, make friends. For sex, pay for it. That’s my advice. Don’t beat yourself against a wall trying to score, it’s so unlikely it’s not worth trying.

    Also get a dog for that unconditional love.

  50. Soatch Avatar

    For non fixable ugly I’d recommend that he focuses on making a lot of money. There’s a lot of hot broke women who will be with guys with money. As long as you’re ok with that it’s a valid strategy.

    For fixable ugly I’d recommend starting with fixing the #1 problem with your appearance. If you have acne take Accutane. If your teeth are messed up fix that.

  51. No-Scratch-1927 Avatar

    Workout, get hobbies, work on mental health and enjoy doing things solo too.

    Even if you are attractive do these.

    No one is just a great guy or nice guy. We have flaws.

    Finding a partner is like selling something. More features it has more likely people will be interested.

  52. Suppafly Avatar

    >This guy goes around to different places by himself and asks out as many girls as possible, he asks out 50-60 girls a month and got rejected EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

    Yeah because normal people don’t just ask out random people without getting to know them a bit.

    >When I told him I go to my local Uni, he said I might “see him around there” since he’s going to try and pick up girls there.

    Visiting a college to ask out women, when you’re not a student, is psychopath behavior.

  53. SuburbanBushwacker Avatar

    he has balls of steel, so that’s the hard bit out of the way. he now needs to learn stand up comedy once he has that down women will hit on him.

  54. Garrais02 Avatar

    When people tell you “you fail If you don’t even try” and then there are this comments

  55. Jaded-Pace-1235 Avatar

    He better stop chasing girls if he doesn’t know how to do it really. It’s not about him being attractive or not it’s about him being unconfident. He isn’t sure uf he is enough, probably speaks quite and mumbling, probably he slouchesa little. I say it because I have those issues) and 50 firls for that period od time is too many. Obviously none of them wasn’t really hisctype he just chaotically trying to ask out any girl he sees and it’s the way to destruction.

    My advice for him – stop concentrating on girls. Nature didn’t give him pretty face so what ? It’s not over. First thing he should know: not every girl likes her own type. If she is hot blondy she is not nesserly attracted to muscular Hollywood stars, she might like someone like winnie the pooh. Assuming that the girl you find unattractive would date you because she is unattractive is disrespectful to her and to yourself. To her because you literally think “she is so ugly and worthless so nobody will want her probably she would take me because she has no options” and to yourself because you literally say “I’m worthless, noone looks at me so I agree to date with someone I don’t like because It’s better than nothing” it’s not healthy, it’s not right.

    Now what he should do is pay more attention on himself: choose good haircut, perfume or deodorant, that smells good, renew his garderobe, wash his clothes more often, take care of his skin maybe, read interesting books, not necessarily something mainstream it can be fucking star wars novel, doesn’t matter, watch some shows, go to gym it will help him rethink his life and becomeore attractive. He will become smarter, more confident, well shaped and boom that’s it.

  56. Blackops606 Avatar

    Simple stuff. He needs to work on him. Haircut, gym, new outfit/style, stay hygienic (showers, brushed hair, shaving or trimming facial hair so it’s neat) and smelling decent). Additionally, being career focused helps a lot. Women love men with passion and ambition so a strong career will prove that.

  57. I_am_Reddit_Tom Avatar

    Be tall and rich.

  58. ApprehensiveAngle90 Avatar

    Begin to work out, and get fit.
    He can learn a lot from becoming a better version of himself, and with that; confidence, and ego.

    Eventually, things has a tendency to shift. Once he becomes great, he can become a PT, and sell programs and products – and eventually fuck a lot of cougars.

    This is not meant to take to seriously, but it’s a way. If he’s very smart, he can also create something useful and make a ton of money; then he can lay a lot of gold diggers, they only see the cash.

  59. MySnake_Is_Solid Avatar

    Skin care for the face, clean haircut, hit the gym, daily showers, dress business casual.

    Within 6 months it will make a big difference in confidence and average looks.

  60. Big-Touch7938 Avatar

    Personality and attitude are keys. Believe me you don’t want to be with a girl looking for a handsome man.

  61. SomeBroOnTheInternet Avatar

    Shower every day, shave, use hair product, dress well, work on your posture, have an interesting way to talk about your job, don’t try so hard, go out to “make friends” instead of getting laid. 

  62. capt-yossarius Avatar

    Without knowing exactly what his holding him back, here’s a possible path forward:

    Start treating meeting women like learning a trade from scratch. Keep talking to women, but also keep a journal. This journal is not for your feelings; its for you to catalog everything you try, and how that worked out.

    If you keep employing the same losing strategy over and over, all you’re going to receive is more losses. Keeping track of what you say and how they respond is how you learn what doesn’t work.

    Also, remember the goal here isn’t to ask someone out. Your goal is to make a connection that leaves open the possibility of a date later. Stop trying to hit a home run if you don’t know how to get on first base.

  63. RegularJoe62 Avatar

    He needs to go out to meet and talk to people – not just women – with no agenda. Have him talk to as many people as possible. That will give him a better handle on social norms.

    And when talking to women in particular, if you start with the goal of just getting a date, they’ll pick up that vibe almost immediately and raise their defenses. They’ll have “no” ready before you get a chance to ask the question.

    If he’s asking 60 women out per month, he’s not giving anyone a chance to get to know him first.

  64. hajasafeer Avatar

    There is nothing you can do about being unattractive. But what you do is

    • Dress well
    • Smell nice
    • Be friendly
      It’s just the eyes that see you and nothing else matters.
  65. Shirou_Arika Avatar

    Your friend may or may not be ugly he might not just have the money is what i think, if he does then I suggest he hit the gym and lift, start doing skin care cause smooth skin is very attractive, clean properly aligned teeth is also very attractive, lastly, dress well and smell good af.

  66. Electric_Death_1349 Avatar

    Has he tried wearing a fedora while asking random women out?

  67. wannaBadreamer2 Avatar

    50-60 sounds high if he’s getting rejected, and if he’s asking out less than conventionally pretty girls too then it might be how he’s asking these women out, do you know how he approaches them? What he says?

  68. bertimann Avatar

    Numbers don’t mean anything at the point at which you are over your initial fear of rejection. You can’t grind your way to success in dating. Women don’t want to be “asked out” in my experience. He should just socialize, without having the goal of asking somebody out in mind and when he does vibe with somebody take the chance and ask for their number or a date then. Women these days are super cautious of which guy to let into their lives, so it won’t work most of the time when they feel like you might just want to get laid

  69. ScoutieJer Avatar

    My suspicion if he is being rejected that much is that he is CREEPY, not just unattractive. Women avoid guys that give a weirdo/awkward vibe.

    Also, if he does not have looks or Charisma going for him, he may have to get to know the woman first and then ask her out.

  70. mysteriouslypuzzled Avatar

    There’s simple things that are greatly improve your odds.

    1 be confident. And if you don’t feel confident. Fake it. Confidence is like a skill/ muscle. The more you practise it. The stronger it will get.

    2 exercise, a healthy/fit guy. Will attract more women.

    3 grooming/ appearance. Good haircut, trimmed nails. Up to date/ fashionable clothes. Clean clothes, Clean shoes. Women notice these things . And women find that stuff appealing.

  71. TechnicalMiddle8205 Avatar

    Hi, ugly guy here; In his case, I think the only good and plausible thing to do is trying to focus on something else, theres no use in overthinking this. If he wants sex, his options are either prostitution or sex toys. If he wants connections, therapy, good friends or pets. Also to try to not need women to be happy and have a good fulfilling life in something else, maybe he can find any activity he enjoys

    Also, he might benefit from learning about the “black pill”, that way he will feel less confused about everything and that might help him feel a little more aware of his situation, which can bring a little comfort, at least. It might sound a little bad compared to the rest of comments but I assure you that this is the most honest comment, if hes been rejected 50 times per month it is not very likely one will fall beyond this point. This honesty is what your friend needs the most.

  72. InsaneInTheRAMdrain Avatar

    Im an ugly fuck, the only way is getting to know people first, its not to hard from there.

    But just asking randoms out is cringe as fuck even for hot people to do.

  73. SpellingIsAhful Avatar

    Take a public speaking course. Focus on quality instead of quantity.

  74. Striking-Rutabaga-87 Avatar

    Should probably try his luck in SEA.

  75. jsolence420 Avatar

    As one of the ugliest men in America (per a vote of 50,000 other men). I wear a mask in public so women don’t see my face much and I have talked to women. It’s about talking points and confidence.

  76. AraiHavana Avatar

    Your time will come as there is someone for everyone, somewhere.

    Also, work on being witty: you can laugh a woman right into bed with cerebral humour

  77. Vargoroth Avatar
    1. Shower, exercise, grooming. First impressions are important, so looking as if you take care of your own body is a great first impression.

    2. start doing hobbies he enjoys because he enjoys them. Preferably a hobby with social contact.

  78. StuffyWuffyMuffy Avatar
    1. Be friengds with a woman 1st. Don’t ask her out, but ask to help in dating/being more personable

    2. Learn to dance. Helps with step one but really helps with awkwardness and lack of confidence.

  79. FHTFBA Avatar

    Get money and flaunt it.

  80. speak_truth__ Avatar

    Tell him to lift heavy, work out and eat better, go to a good barber, stop any drinking/smoking/drugs, and take care of his skin. If he has a facial deformity, mangled teeth, or something extreme he can go see a plastic or orthopaedic surgeon. You’re only unattractive if you let yourself be. Also a good wardrobe will go a long way

  81. deplorableme16 Avatar

    Read. Lift. Acquire Currency and Skills. Cultivate Friendships with good people. Disregard Women or at least the superficial ones.

  82. texasgambler58 Avatar

    Gain marketable skills. Become wealthy.

  83. chr0me0 Avatar

    Tell him to dump the pick up artist machine gun cold approach style, get his looks up and focus on approaching women who show interest

  84. gogadantes9 Avatar

    gif

    “My friend”

  85. worstnameever2 Avatar

    His approach strategy / conversation skills need work

  86. SupWitCorona Avatar

    The ol Dale approach. 

    Does he learn anything from these cold approaches? You, as his friend, are you telling him what he needs to work on?

    If he keeps this winning rate this low and not changing anything, it’s going to stay this low. 

  87. beardedshad2 Avatar

    Be ok alone. The juice ain’t worth the squeeze

  88. maguel92 Avatar

    Women have a 6th sense for desperation. The less he tries to pick up the more success he will have. Tell him to just be nice and stop gooning.

  89. TemporaryTension2390 Avatar

    What a waste of energy

  90. Yodaghostlightning Avatar

    50-60 girls a month? No way someone like that is coming off as anything other than desperate. Willing to bet it’s his personality more than his looks. Also, there’s a nicer way to say “even the uglies have rejected him” so if you are actually the “friend” here then you have some work to do, bud.

  91. Holiday_Film_9818 Avatar

    Work on confidence & building a strong social circle first. Make female friends. Let them know you’re looking. Dating either online, or at bars puts you in the most shallow situation possible. You might have to expand your search area to find meaningful connections.

  92. JuggernautLegal1576 Avatar

    Tell him to fucking stop. That’s just desperate and sad

  93. groundbeef666 Avatar

    Tell him to start bartending. That will give him great practice and confidence talking to women

  94. No_Service3462 Avatar

    Dont worry or think about women period is what I would say