In middle school in the 90’s I watched as a kid told a girl “Why don’t you come over and sit on Santas lap, we’ll talk about what you really want” and she just said “eww no”
At least he did this in December, but wow. It was hard to watch.
Initiator: You remind me of my little toe,
Target: because I am cut or little?
Initiator: no, because once I get drunk I will bang you on my coffee table.
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Asking for a friend….Fancy a shag !
Trust me it doesn’t work
“Hi. Does this smell like chloroform to you? “
You smell nice, been jogging?
In middle school in the 90’s I watched as a kid told a girl “Why don’t you come over and sit on Santas lap, we’ll talk about what you really want” and she just said “eww no”
At least he did this in December, but wow. It was hard to watch.
you’re hotter than your sister ever was
I am not a man, but a man used this one on me once:
“Are you a beaver? Cause dammmmm.”
Mind if I fuck your face later?
Hi, I’m me
You remind me of a mirror, I can see myself in you.
When talking to an older woman I always say “damn you don’t look a day over 28.”
It’s not the absolute worst… it’s pretty cringe. But it actually works lol.
Will you be my mommy
Any pickup line
You like riding bikes? Cuz I’ll let you sit on my face and pedal my ears
I’ll get banned if I say it
“Hi, I’m humorously confusing you for something you’re not, so that I can make a pun about how I want to have sex with you.”
Are you sitting on an F5 key? Cause that ass is refreshing.
Are you a loan from a shady bank? Because you’ve got my interest… and a terrible credit score.
Are you the Matrix because I wanna get in you and never get out?
Hey! Would you like to touch my penis?
“Nice tits…. Let me get up in them gutz”
Nice tights
A friend of mine once asked if he could “come up her back” to a girl in a club.
Girl, are you a super soaker? Because if I pump you I’m sure I can make you-
(I’m sorry. I workshopped this for like 10 minutes and even I’m ashamed)
The problem with pickup lines us that they sound a lot like pickup lines, and girls generally don’t want to feel they’re being picked up.
“excuse me, does this tag smell like chloroform to you?”
Nice legs, what time do they open?
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Wanna go halves on a bastard?
Oi, Hermione. You’re a girl.
Knock knock
Whose there
Dick
(this is a joke pick up line and I never used it other than as a dark joke.)
“You look so handsome, I’d love to skin you and make a lampshade out of your skin because you light up my world. 🥀🥰”
“My mom told me to follow my dreams, So don’t question if you suddenly feel me breathing in your bedroom walls. 🥀😌”
“Girl, are you 9/11? Cuz you crashed into my heart like one. 😉😭”
“Girl, are you a witch? Because I want to set your heart on fire 🔥 🫦😭”
(I’m sorry if this offends anyone 🙏🏿it’s purely a dark joke only.)
Can I lick your boots
Every part with “knock knock who’s there”
“Hey you dropped something”
“What?”
“Your self esteem, hi I’m ____”
I lost my keys….sooo…can I check your pants?
The word of the day is legs. Want to come ta me place and halp spread the word?
I have 2.
I have a riddle for you: What’s the useless skin around the vagina called?
Girl you so fine, if you were my girlfriend you wouldn’t even need toilet paper if you stayed at my house.
Is your name spaghetti? Because you should meet-ma-balls
Wanna fuck? (context: person saying this is NOT attractive)
“The name’s Artemis…I have a bleached asshole.”
One I saw from elsewhere:
“Are you a microwave? Because mmmmmmm”
I look like your future baby daddy 🥲
I shit my pants, can I get in yours?
My contribution is have you ever thought about being a single mum? Well want to?
Do you want to see my balls?
I’ve been to a lot of strip cubs and I’d like to take you out to one.
Do you have a banana in your pocket or do you have a huge boner on the side of your leg?
Pickup lines in general are so cringe. Just be direct and invite her straight away. Skip the unnecessary talk
“Is it cold in here or are you just happy to see me?”
“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?” – Mae West
“I’m a Top G”.
I think you would make a wonderful alter boy.
Did you fall from Heaven? Because your hair’s all messed up.
(😄 I like it. I think the worst the better)
You don’t sweat much for a big girl…
Initiator: You remind me of my little toe,
Target: because I am cut or little?
Initiator: no, because once I get drunk I will bang you on my coffee table.
“Surrender to your alpha male”
Are you a toaster? Because, I want to take a bath with you.
Did you fall from heaven, cause your face is fucked up.
Walk up to a woman and start going 🎶 La de da de da de da. La de da de da 🎶
https://youtu.be/CWXGmtzVsuM?feature=shared