What are some unexpected things in life that made you better at emotional connection?

r/

I was surprised that for me, it was my dog.

I started carrying my 15-year-old pup around NYC when she couldn’t walk anymore. She’s not friendly, she growls at strangers, and she’s very opinionated.

But caring for her taught me a kind of gentleness I didn’t expect. Slowing down, paying attention, reading signals — all that translated into how I interact with people.

Curious what weird or unexpected life experiences shaped your emotional awareness — outside of romantic relationships.

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/Wild_rice_paddy’s post (if available):

    I was surprised that for me, it was my dog.

    I started carrying my 15-year-old pup around NYC when she couldn’t walk anymore. She’s not friendly, she growls at strangers, and she’s very opinionated.

    But caring for her taught me a kind of gentleness I didn’t expect. Slowing down, paying attention, reading signals — all that translated into how I interact with people.

    Curious what weird or unexpected life experiences shaped your emotional awareness — outside of romantic relationships.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. Wild_rice_paddy Avatar

    Didn’t expect so many rejections from pigeons and Reddit bots just to get this posted. But we’re here now 🐾

    Curious to hear what shaped you guys.

  3. mikess314 Avatar

    MDMA. I know that won’t be a popular opinion. But it’s true

  4. bakedoats22 Avatar

    I wanted to stop being so closed off and didn’t know how, so I just started sharing about myself with the people I’m close to. It turned out the more I felt my feelings, the more I could recognize and feel other people’s feelings. It’s been a welcome change.

  5. orlybatman Avatar

    Moved in with a friend who I thought was totally stable, and she was – until a significant trauma trigger occurred and really knocked her off balance.

    I wound up supporting her a great deal, which was a bit of a reversal of roles for our dynamic. I’d never been in that supportive role before to that degree, so it was a big learning experience of how to go about it without overstepping or moving the wrong way (and making things worse). Having to observe so closely to learn how to help someone in crisis definitely made me better at noticing emotional states, and it taught me how to regulate my own emotions to not sacrifice myself in those attempts to help others.

  6. BigBadBootyDaddy10 Avatar

    Taking an extra breath. And taking a step back (figuratively).

  7. Lucky_6130_ Avatar

    For me it was when multiple people in my life all died around the same time. It made me appreciate the ones that I love more

    Also when I moved into my first apartment and started living alone, I realized just how much I appreciated just having the noise of my family around me. Not having that same energy really made me look at things differently

    And lastly when a boyfriend of mine broke up with me because I was the problem and I know I was. I loved him a lot and it was really hard for me to move on from him because I was so in love with him

  8. PhoenixApok Avatar

    Getting arrested for a misdemeanor that was something that, while I should have known better, was still an accident.

    Made me realize it’s way too easy for someone to make a dumb mistake that can mark them for years or for life.

    Made me far less judgmental of others and far more accepting of others mistakes.

  9. kiwifulla64 Avatar

    LSD made me way more empathetic. It also unraveled a bunch of psychological childhood trauma, not during but afterward. Sort of feel like it connected some points in my brain that weren’t previously.

  10. Rumble73 Avatar

    A bad divorce and a series of bad relationships really helped me learn to set strong boundaries when meeting and dating new people which meant I was able for “qualify” out people that would have been terrible for me long term faster, leading to better connections and better and better choices for me.

  11. NiceCaterpillar8745 Avatar

    Cheese. I’m much happier after eating cheese. This makes me better at socialising and connecting with people.

  12. Relative_Hyena7760 Avatar

    My GF and I recently split up due, in part, that I’m not ready to live with her young son. I love her to death and we’re still best friends. However, breaking off our intimate relationship made me want to get better at giving and receiving emotional intimacy.

  13. cxcxxxc Avatar

    detachment. when i learned how to detach and not take things personally and seriously, it is easier to have a healthier mental health

  14. noir_lord Avatar

    Reading – it’s empathy in a box (or a book).

    Been able to lose yourself in another world and live it through the eyes of another person is one of those skills that comes with practice.