Im doing a social listening study and i need genuine opinions about what being an attractive guy means. Having a good physique? Being confident? Having a nice beard/hair? Being funny?
There’s no restriction to your answers, you can say everything that comes to your mind (:
Thankyoooou
What does “being attractive” mean to you? How can you become an attractive guy? [men only]
r/AskMen
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Notice, I’ve listed only those things that are within your control to achieve. And the way you achieve that? Sacrifice and hard work.
Nothing worth achieving is achieved without tremendous sacrifice. When you’re asked, “What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve your goals?” if the answer isn’t “Everything” then you’ve picked the wrong goals.
Be Brad Pitt. Don’t be Michael Pitt.
Being attractive means being someone women or men want to be with.
So obviously your looks play a part.
Obviously good hygiene, dressing well, being fit, nice smile, pretty eyes etc..
After that (as appearance is the first thing you see about someone) is their manners, achievements, goals, personality.
Though I’d argue looks are a bigger part of attraction, most men would not say no to a one night stand with Amber Herd (or whatever her name is) despite her being a not so great person. And women had crushes or Ted Bundy.
On the otherhand I never saw someone thinking Lizzo is attractive or Kevin James being seen as attractive.
I think being attractive first and foremost comes from having confidence. Being comfortable in your body and carrying yourself confidently is so much more attractive than any physical trait will ever be.
Well groomed, good hygiene, in shape, well dressed. Bonus points for tall, good head of hair, solid beard.
Confidence, contentment and happiness also add a lot to the mix.
Hmm for me I’d say having little to no flaws is being attractive physically.
That you feel it when people interact with you.
You can get jacked and take care of yourself, but one, that’s got a cap, and two, you should do it for yourself first.
Once you get positive feedback, it starts a loop, and that’s how you gain confidence, which is attractive in itself. And for those who have trouble/can’t do it, have something to be confident in, and do not give a shit about how others perceive it.
Being attractive to me is the full picture. Body as well as mind.
Humor is amazing, self-confidence is key, but what’s also very important is however you look, you should look well-groomed. No, don’t wait shaving for another day. No, don’t wear sweatpants in public. No, don’t skip the barber for just a few more weeks to save you a little money. If you look well-groomed, you can go from a 4 to a 6, and from a 6 to an 8. Take care of yourself.
Many women spent over an hour a day in the mirror, and we whine that we’re so ugly while spending maybe 1/10th of said time on how we look…
So to me, summarized, being attractive to me means being self-confident, being unapologetically you(don’t confuse this for being an asshole), and looking well-groomed.
Chris Hemsworth
Henry Cavill
There are many ways to be attractive to others. Charisma is probably the most appealing, but you can also be funny, smart, kind… there are plenty of attractive traits that have nothing to do with physical appearance.
And of course, no one is attractive to everyone.
Jhon jones in street, jhon holmes in home
Slanging that meat to quality, not quantity .
Immediate thoughts? Attractiveness (from an exterior party other than yourself) is both visual appearance (via their perspective) and who you are during an interaction. I was once observing a presentation to an audience (sub-25yo crowd) and the speaker asked “Has anyone here ever been approached by a stranger who was interested in you? Please raise your hand.” He then followed up with “Now how many of you actually believe that they saw your personality from across the room?”. Attractiveness means different things to different people but I’m confident in saying that it has extremely shallow beginnings.
You can’t control how you are born.
But getting yourself in basic shape (just not fat) is what you can control. Even if you are a 5/10, getting in shape puts you in a 6/10 and that’s the best version of yourself to show the world.
Getting what other guys work hard to get without working at all.
Fit & healthy – no girls want a fat slob. Decent looking face. Good personality, kindness, sense of humor.
Genetics, not being fat, finding a style that works for you, and proper grooming. I guess money could also be a factor for some women, but I’m not sure why you’d want to be with a gold digger.
Genetically being physically appealing , not being fat , and Also being neurotypical , aka social and have low inhibiton
Spend a lot of time outside and lift rocks up and down at increasing weights, and meditate after the ‘rock out’ about the foxiest lady imaginable; and the babes will manifest in your life.
Also spend a lot of time grooming and get condoms before you need one. Be real upfront about your new rock hard bod and pretend your always in a fragrance commercial.
The final step is not giving a fuck until you’ve found someone who can make you smile and want to do chores for. Then you gotta double down on the workouts with listening to audiobooks about non-violent communication and Schopenhauer’s The World as Will and Representation.
Then you can give all the fucks and look good doing it. That’s what them future partners really want: kindness, strength of character, and cave man.
I genuinely have no idea. Sure, I can name drop a handful of famous actors that are considered attractive but outside of spending an ungodly amount of time in the gym good genetics is at play there than anything else. And while we’re on the topic of said actors, a lot of what seems to make them attractive is the aura of their celebrity. If Pedro Pascal was just a random guy you saw on a bus would he have half of the sex appeal he has now?
I guess what I’m saying is that what is considered attractive for a guy is a moving target with a poor definition.
I feel attractive when I have lost a few pounds, have a new haircut, wear clean clothes, and have $100 in my wallet.
Scientifically, for men it physically means a classic upside down triangle body shape.
That’s something you can control and work towards by losing weight and working out. Other factors like face shape and height are also prominent factors that unfortunately cannot be controlled.
Being successful, confident, a leader and assertive are also hugely attractive traits that you can also works towards.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder so everyone you ask will have a different opinion of what attracts them.
It means dignity, integrity, compassion, selflessness, many things. This is what makes a person feel “valuable” and it’s difficult for me not to be attracted to such individuals and thus I also like myself only to the extent I am able to live up to those ideals.
Genetic face structure has a lot to do with being conventionally “handsome”.
But attractive is a hodge podge of physical, mental, and spiritual attributes.
The physical: get fit (Not body builder fit or 6-pack abs 5% body fat. But functionally healthy and not fat with some muscle mass). Practice good hygiene. Shower, brush your teeth/floss/whiten/straight teeth, deodorant, body powder. Improve your posture (highly underrated). Don’t dress like a total slob.
The mental: confidence, kind, manners, somewhat stoic (in a controlled emotion sense not a lack thereof), ambitious. Also will throw light hearted and funny in there.
If you wanna be an attractive man in 2025, you have two options…
1- earn a shit ton of money
2- win the lottery
One element of being attractive that eludes a lot of guys is to be intentional about one’s appearance.
That might mean:
Having your hair cut and styled on a regular schedule. Maybe you use a dab of gel as you get ready to leave your house in the morning.
Exercising for at least two hours a week.
Staying conscious of your clothes, and their state of wear. Replacing socks and underwear when the elastic wears out.
Basically, work on mitigating the “accidental” quality that’s so prevalent in the appearances of men. You don’t have to occupy your mind with being stylish unless that’s important to you. Just make your choices look like choices.
Taste is obviously subjective, but if a friend asked for my advice, I would tell him to avoid leaving the house wearing either sleepwear, or what’s become known as “athleisure.” I absolutely hate the look of sweatpants and slides (or Crocs). I’m sure this will be received as needlessly judgmental, but everything about that look communicates to me that the wearer is a slob. I can’t believe the pajama-like clothing I see people wearing to airports. Maybe I would find it easier to understand if I weren’t totally unable to sleep on flights of any length.
Be born tall and get money. At that point Anything you have that makes you not ttractive can be fixed in the gym or with plastic surgery if you have money.
People will let you know when you are attractive, just keep an ear open.
When you’re authentic, the point at which you’re comfortable in your own skin, you talk the same to everyone, you treat everyone better, and you’re okay with knowing some people are going to dislike you no matter what
Attraction to me means a natural gravitation of several things. Physically, mentally, energetically, and spiritually. You can be all of these at once (having a Day!!!) or one at a time but these carry weight into how the interactions develop. I am engaged differently by how people are attracted to me. I have an easier time having engaging conversations when attraction levels are higher. To me people want to trust more so they can get closer to the attraction. Sort of a FAFO moment.
competence. become good at something. doesn’t really matter what.
Be exceptional in some area and not too deficient in others.
Height is very attractive to some people. But short guys can make up for it by being good looking, or rich, or charismatic/confident/funny. But you have to be exceptionally so, or perhaps some combination of extroverted and lucky.
Many people say confidence is the most attractive quality for a man. The opposite of that would also be true; don’t appear unsure of yourself.
Depends on what you mean by “attractive”.
If you’re talking just physically, you go to the gym and get in shape. That’s about all you can do to alter your physical attractiveness naturally (as in without surgery).
If you mean as an “ideal mate”, it gets more complicated. Being confident is a huge thing, being empathetic is definitely helpful. Avoiding bad habits (smoking, excessive drinking/drug use) are definitely something a lot of women will look for and can be deal breakers.
Having money definitely helps, however (and contrary to alot of the sad lonely guys on here), its not necessary. Money attracts superficial women. Honestly if its public knowledge that you’re well off its gonna be harder. You’ll have to sift through hordes of, as Bill Burr would say, gold digging whores. And alot of these woman are gonna be very physically attractive, but probably incredibly shallow and not worth your time and effort. But you can get blinded into being in a shitty relationship just because a girl is a piece of ass.
As cheesy as it is, being yourself is ultimately the most attractive thing you can do. There’s only one of you in the world. Be confident and own it.
There’s no one way to be attractive, but there’s several little things you can do to appear more attractive both physically and emotionally.
Women don’t care about looks in men as much as men care about looks in women, so we already have that advantage. But be presentable at least.
Things women like are confidence and access to resources. If she feels like she can depend on you not to necessarily pay all her bills and fund her lifestyle, but that she knows you’ll be there to help her out in the bad times. That she can see you as a leader.
What turns them on is when you take control of a situation. And it doesn’t have to be anything big. When my parents were dating, my mother told me that she liked how my dad would always sit in the aisle seat on a bus or subway. It was a subtle way of him protecting her. When they would go to fast food restaurants, he would ask her what she wanted, then they’d both go to the counter and he’d order his food and her food. Now back then, they were broke college students, so they paid for their own meals haha but he wouldn’t let her say her order. He would always say it. To her, that was his way of being a leader. They’ve been married 24 years and to this day, if they’re going somewhere together, he won’t let her drive. He always drives.
Don’t go overboard like some guys do and get insanely jealous and start grabbing and rubbing all over her to signal to other men that you two are together. That’s a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem and she’ll get sick of it because she’ll feel suffocated always having to assure you she only likes you.
You have to give off the aura of “I like you, but I’ll be fine without you.” If a woman senses you’ll fall apart if she leaves, sometimes she’ll start walking all over you. But if she sees that you can take her or leave her, she’ll want to prove to you that she’s worthy of the one being chosen.
They say it’s misogynistic, but men really are the prize because we are the gatekeepers to marriage (which most women want) and women are the gatekeepers to sex (which most men want). The difference is a man can get sex from multiple women, but women can only marry one man at a time. Reasonable women know that if they want to be the one that he marries, she has to convince him that’s she’s worthy.
So be confident and have high self-esteem. Show her you’re reliable and she can relax around you and she doesn’t have to keep looking over your shoulder to make sure you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. If you do the right things, she’ll let her guard down and become more submissive in the sense that she’ll let you lead. Even if she earns more money than you do haha my mom earns far more than my dad, but she still packs his suitcase for him when they go on trips 😅and she knows where everything is in the house. He can say “Where’a my light blue dress shirt with the light gray stripes?” And without missing a beat, she’ll say “In the closet, to the right, and look up on the shelf.” She is his support and he’s her leader.
But don’t be arrogant and insecure. And don’t tell people you’re dependable and have high self-esteem. Let your actions speak for themselves.
Ive been approached by a lot of women in my lifetime. Ive dated at least 4 women that approached me first. My wife approached me first. And there were many others that attempted while I was already in a relationship.
I’m 5’9″ (not tall), and do not have a pretty face. I used to have hair, but I’ve been bald since my mid 30s.
Ive been in and out of the gym my whole life. I usually go 5 or 6 years and get in really good physical shape. Then something happens in life and I skip 4 or 5 years and get really out of shape.
When I workout and stay in shape, women hit on me.
When I stop and get out of shape, they stop.
I make good money, but I dont wear anything that shows it off. Usually just Levis and a goofy tee shirt. I dont follow any fashion trends.
Its the physique and a non-threatening (dorky/nerdy) look. I’m the guy women ask to walk them to their car at night.
An attractive guy is a mindset and the traits of an attractive guy are all the benefits that result from it. Some people have it and some just don’t. That mindset over time keeps you in shape, eating healthy. You don’t need caffeine, alcohol, drugs. Completely comfortable all the time in your own skin. This person has a bright/positive aura that radiates from them which naturally attracts others with minimal/no effort. They seem in a permanently happy/chill state.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, therefore attractiveness is too. A lot of people here are confusing attraction for charisma. Attraction comes simply from ticking as many boxes as possible that someone else is looking for; what those boxes are, is decided by the person you’re attracting, the beholder. Being smart, fit, kind and self assured a great way to tick many boxes from the off, but after that things get niche.
Is “social listening study” just bullshit-speak for a survey? Because we have a rule about that.
LIFT
It means getting romantic/sexual interest from other people, preferably of your preferred gender. Being attractive encompasses a lot of things but generally for a man it’s: Height, facial symmetry/bone structure, build, and confidence. Not necessarily in that order.
If you’re an attractive guy you’ll know it because people will tell you from both sexes quite often.