I’m in my 20s and I recently kissed someone for the first time — both on their lips and their neck — but I couldn’t really do it properly. It just felt off.
The problem is, I haven’t kissed anyone since I was a kid (like family kisses), and I honestly don’t remember how to do it. I’ve been looking for advice, but everything online is more about confidence, timing, or making it romantic. Not the actual physical movements involved.
When I try to practice like on my hand or something, it just feels like my lips touch and then move away. No suction, no feeling, no sound — just nothing.
It’s starting to frustrate me a bit, because I can’t find any actionable advice that helps
Thank you
EDIT:
A couple days after we kissed she said she didn’t want to carry on in a romantic sense, just to be friends.
I don’t think this was because of the kissing, because she was really considerate and patient with all the stuff that comes before it, and she was giving tips afterwards. Just adding so you know I can’t go to her for advice now.
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I’m in my 20s and I recently kissed someone for the first time — both on their lips and their neck — but I couldn’t really do it properly. It just felt off.
The problem is, I haven’t kissed anyone since I was a kid (like family kisses), and I honestly don’t remember how to do it. I’ve been looking for advice, but everything online is more about confidence, timing, or making it romantic. Not the actual physical movements involved.
When I try to practice like on my hand or something, it just feels like my lips touch and then move away. No suction, no feeling, no sound — just nothing.
It’s starting to frustrate me a bit, because I can’t find any actionable advice that helps
Thank you
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Tell them. When my first serious gf kissed me (her 18, me 16) I had to pull back and tell her I had no idea what I was doing. She came in again m, gently, and we kind of explored it together.
It’s kind of instinctive…but also not
Keep breathing through your nose.
Sounds silly, but people forget to breathe and tense up. Stay relaxed, Start with soft, relaxed lips.
Not puckered, not stiff. Think gentle pressure like resting your lips against theirs, not pressing.
Its like grabbing but with lips instead of fingers.
Watch people kissing in movies and shows.
The “mechanic” for making out is pressing your open mouths together and essentially massaging each other’s tongues, but there’s way more nuance depending on who you’re kissing and it’s not the most explainable thing.
Worst case scenario, let her lead and just be responsive.
You basically want to raspberry the other persons lips as violently as possible while making a high pitched squeal. Focus on LOTS OF EYE CONTACT. If their eyes are closed it’s considered polite to use your thumb and index finger to peel their eyes open. It helps to raise the pitch of your squeal while doing this to signify your dissatisfaction with their eye contact.
Don’t put your tongue too deep, don’t have too much saliva in your mouth. Suck on their lip, first gently and then more intense.
Give eye contact look into their eyes and their lips lean in tilt your head and at first give them a regular kiss on their lips. Very gentle soft kiss then kiss them again and maybe they will put their tongue in your mouth or you can slide your tongue in but start out with regular kisses no tongue. Once the kiss becomes more passionate just massage each other’s tongues while kissing don’t give too much tongue like full on groping just enough tongue and gently kiss their lips softly while your tongue is touching their tongue and close your eyes enjoy the moment.
Everyone likes it differently, but don’t go too deep with the tongue. Not too much slobber. And you kind of feel out the other persons pace.
Some people don’t like tongue or saliva.
Just like with sex there is no way to explain how to do it. The body naturally knows how but practice makes perfect.
Lick your lips to get them nice and wet. Dripping. Shove your tongue as far into their mouth as you can
I asked a beautiful women if she could teach me. I was honest and told her I didn’t know how. We practiced and kissed for hours and after that day I never saw her again. Thank you Joseline with the lisp.
Practice on your hand. Imagine that your two fingers are somebody’s lips. Gently open then close your mouth while brushing your lips against the hand/fingers. Add a bit of the tongue. How do you eat ice-cream btw? It can be quite similar. Good-luck!!
Honestly, it depends on the person you’re kissing. Everyone is different. The person I was with prior to my wife didn’t like much tongue, but the first time I kissed my wife she straight up put her whole tongue in my mouth which I was definitely into, but the point is that the experiences were completely different.
I’ve always been told I’m a great kisser so in terms of mechanics, I’ve always started with a regular kiss just to see where things go — eyes closed. If the other person starts opening their mouth, I would do the same. At that point, it’s sort of like you’re trying to find your rhythm together if that makes sense? Just try to relax and keep in mind that the first few kisses are probably going to be a bit awkward, but you’ll settle into it. Do what feels natural. It gets easier with practice.
Ok, going to try to paint a picture not being seggual:
You are just starting to enjoy a small lollipop, like a Dumb-Dumb (not sponsored). Your mouth is full of saliva so you pull the pop out to swallow. Doing so slowly, keeping your lips pressed, you pull the pop behind your lips first and they close around it as the pop exits your mouth. As it exits you purse your lips against it.
Basically do the last parts in reverse. But only open slightly and I don’t know how to describe the “kiss” sound other than it’s sucking but not sucking through pursed lips.
Hope my ramblings helped. I’m a 35M in a 20 year relationship, so I do know how to kiss, but might not be the best communicator.
Pucker up and suck your lips at the same time he does
Start by saying “ahhhhh” but mouth barely opened. And it’s just opening your mouth a little bigger than smaller, over and over again. Push your jaw forward a little too. That’s the main motion. But start off with lips pierced. Then if the kissing continues, then do that “ahhh” thing. If she’s into it. Add tongue brushing their lips. If she’s adds tongue, have them meet occasionally while kissing.
Breathe through your nose.
It sounds lame but look at videos of people kissing and then kiss your pillow
Look up “you are my high” by demon on youtube. Do that.
For more details I would say go slow. Take your time. A lot of people kiss like you described and what I call fencing style. Fast contact with fast separation, just like in fencing when you try to touch your opponent while being careful not to be touched yourself. I think this is due to people being embarrassed or self conscious and being afraid not to kiss, but to be kissed in return. Don’t forward your head / neck too much you will look like a crooked turtle, instead get very close to them with your whole leaning body. Kissing is also something that involves hands. Gently grab and stroke their cheeks, using both hands. Their neck. Get a grip on their hair if it’s possible and they like it. Put a thumb on their throat, ain’t nothing wrong with showing a bit of enthusiasm and dominance. Kiss them with your eyes too. Look them straight in the eyes, maintain eye contact, but also close them a bit from time to time but not fully. Try to adapt to your partner’s style. Don’t neglect any area : it’s not just about frontal and tongue, you can go for the cheeks and corner of the lips too, the chin, the throat and neck as you already stated. I also like the tip of the nose with a boop and the forehead or temples.
Spice it up a bit, like suck on her upper lip, bite her ear lick her face or whatever. That will stand out to them because most guys don’t do it.
Use the tongue
The best kissing advice I ever received was from That 70’s Show. But a M&M or Skittle on the palm of your hand and pick it up with your lips. That’s how you kiss. Create a little suction or pull on her lip with your lips.
Thinking about it, the #1 key that might not be obvious at first is that you should be focusing on one lip at a time. That’s what makes it a kiss vs just pressing your mouths together. Obviously they do the same to you in return, and so in the end your whole mouths are involved. But for yourself you should just be kissing their top lip. If they actually want to kiss you, their mouth will be open enough you can get in there with your bottom lip and get a good grip on their top lip. Just going in on their whole face isn’t kissing, that’s fish mouthing.
As for mechanics, this sounds stupid to write out…but now that we’re focused on their top lip, imagine it’s coated in something and you’re trying to clean it off with your lips. Imagine their lip is like the round edge of a nice and thick lollipop that you’re just taking the top layer of wet off of. Nothing messy or sloppy, no sucking, no slobbering, just wiping, clean and precise. No slobbering or anything weird to start. No reaching too far outside the lips. Think precision. Precision sounds like a weird word to use for kissing, but not being precise only means bad stuff. Too far outside their lips, too wet, too hard. You only want to be touching their lips, not the rest of their face, but you don’t want to be hard and mechanical either. Precise, soft and gentle. You can press harder as it escalates. I just take their cues in terms of how sloppy or intense or tonguey it gets.
Don’t forget about your hands. One on the side of their face and neck as you go in, your other hand pulling them in by the waist or lower back as it escalates. Almost as important as the kissing itself. Otherwise you’re just kinda awkwardly standing there. Use your hands with the right intensity at the right times, they’re in the bag.
The tongue doesn’t come out unless their mouth is open. No poking or sticking into a closed mouth with your tongue that’s an insta game over. If a kiss is going well, their mouth is more and more open and it’s less about targeting a single lip anymore but the whole mouth. That’s where the tongue gets involved. Now instead of cleaning off the edge of a lollipop anymore, you’re hitting the side of it with your whole mouth. But if you get to that point it’ll probably already be intuitive, you’re just kinda going to town on each other at that point. The early part is the most important to not fumble so you can even get to that part.
Just learn by doing man. First kisses are always awkward anyways. You get into a rhythm with a woman pretty quickly. Wouldn’t sweat it.
Y’know; left, down, rotate 62 degrees, engage rotor.
>I don’t think this was because of the kissing, because she was really considerate and patient with all the stuff that comes before it, and she was giving tips afterwards.
Spoiler alert: it probably was, especially given that reaction.
Idk, I didn’t really need a guide, just practice. Maybe you just don’t have that chemistry if it’s feeling off.
Really it comes down to practice, but some nice tips can help.
Focus on some breath work. Feel your partner and what they are doing and try to reciprocate that. Breathe with them, use your hands to pull them in, and occasionally step back to make some eye contact, smile, and lean back in. It’s really more of a dance than a singular act.
You pucker and move your lips kinda like your trying to push them away with your lips.
-if you don’t know where your heading don’t be afraid to hold their face.
-kiss from there lips to their cheeks to the neck and back up.
-if you’re feeling risque kiss their ear
-don’t use tongue until she uses tongue first or if yall have been kissing for a minute
-once tongue is in the picture go crazy!
Just don’t do this and you’ll be fine:
https://youtu.be/jJkO1ohyOe0?si=qssniWxTLKFquuZA
You mash your mouths together hard, preferably until your teeth barely touch. Then push your tongue in and out of your mouth as fast as you can. It’s so easy bro.
Use the lips to stimulate the anus.
Tu es naïf mon ami. Bien sûr que c’est à cause de ton manque de savoir-faire qu’elle t’a envoyé en l’air.
Elle ne te le dira jamais frontalement mais outre le fait qu’elle te compare insciemment avec ses anciens coups, son hypergamie sera constamment là pour lui rappeler qu’elle mérite mieux.
Je suis peut-être comme toi. Fais attention.
Massage her mouth with your mouth