In less than an hour I’ll receive news from my doctor whether or not I could have kids. I’m only 22 and I’m genuinely afraid that I won’t ever be able to have any biological children. For those who can’t, how did you cope with it? Did you ever want kids? How did you receive the news? I apologize if this isn’t the correct community to ask this question.
For the men that are unable to have kids, how did you manage the news?
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In less than an hour I’ll receive news from my doctor whether or not I could have kids. I’m only 22 and I’m genuinely afraid that I won’t ever be able to have any biological children. For those who can’t, how did you cope with it? Did you ever want kids? How did you receive the news? I apologize if this isn’t the correct community to ask this question.
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Relief that I wasn’t going to need to have my vasectomy redone.
There was a time when I sort of assumed I’d have kids someday, but when my life after college started to take shape, I realized I didn’t want them.
Indifference, because I had no intentions of ever passing on my defective genes anyway. If you want to have kids or were ever planning on having them, I understand that it’s probably a much harder thing to deal with though.
I still struggle with it sometimes. Watching my brother become a dad “the natural way” is painful because I’ll never experience it. Watching my other brother fail to have have a child through alternate methods also hurts because it means I’ll have to go through that as well.
I’ve always wanted a family. Not being able to have children hurts even 5 years after finding out. We both have issues making it unlikely even with IUI or IVF.
I managed it like I manage every situation I have no power to change. I accept it, and try to do the best I can to given my wife and myself the best lives we can manage. Its not an easy thing to accept, and it bothers me very often. I try not to dwell on it.
I always wanted children. But when I met the woman who is now my wife, she has already passed menopause – and had three children of her own. It was biologically impossible for us to have children. I’m not interested in adopting, and my wife has already raised three children before, and doesn’t want to do it again.
My love for my wife is greater than my desire for children – so I had to come to terms with it.
My wife and I badly wanted kids. We had one and only one pregnancy, which ended in miscarriage. We then learned that her egg count was low – I’m not sure of the proper medical term – and that her fertile years were already behind us. We tried IUI and fertility treatments before just handing the whole thing over to God but it never happened for us again and it’s now a virtual certainty that it never will.
It still stings sometimes but we’ve made our peace with it. We’ve found other ways to find purpose and fulfillment. We foster animals. We’re active in the school community where my wife works. We have nieces and a nephew whose parents didn’t really step up, and while we never officially adopted them we stepped into that role in their lives. And let’s face it – while parenthood is an amazing gift, the freedom that comes with being childless is not the world’s worst consolation prize. We can travel, dine out, or splurge on ourselves anytime we want.
I guess my advice to you would be, if the news isn’t what you were hoping for, to remember there are a lot of ways to add to the world, and a lot of ways to be happy. You’ll find them.
It’s not that I can’t have kids, I chose not to. So I’m just here to tell you that at 49, life is beautiful. My ex-wife and I couldn’t have kids in our early to mid 20s because of a health issue. By the time it cleared up in our late 20s, we had careers and lives and friends and didn’t really want to have a kid. And then the years went on and we were just kind of good with it. After we broke up just before turning 40, I went and got snipped.
I’m not a child free person who hates on kids and parents. I recognize that I chose not to have one of the most fundamental human experiences one can have. I chose not toexperience a unique kind of love and bond. I chose it so that I could live in a way that I wanted and wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. And I have never once regretted this decision.
I’m very happy about it, but I got a vasectomy so I Chose it. I’ve always known I didn’t want kids
Found out the same time i found out my cancer had returned (technically never went away) and chemo was the next step. Wasn’t the first issue on my mind. Being busy with the treatment let me take my time with that part of the news, so it went ok
I adopted two. I rarely ever think about the fact that they aren’t genetically related to me. Non-issue.
I was ecstatic. Went in after my vasectomy and rejoiced when the count came back.