I (25M) am currently working on my masters thesis in a company ~1hour away from my home. I always travel by train. Today I was sitting there and a very pretty and fasionable girl took a seat in front of me, facing me. She seemed a little stressed to take her seat and almost let her phone slip and fall to the ground while nestling on her bag – I caught it, then smiled and did not think much. While I am very comfortable around woman, I never happened to be in a situation where I would ever start talking with one in a train out of nowhere, or any starting Point for small talk.
Over the course of the train ride, we made eye contact several times and always had to smile (in a more than just polite way). As I said: I CAN talk to women – or more, people in general – very well, but only if I have got aaaannnyyy objective reason to do so; to find a start. Something like “You like XYZ?” because they wear a shirt with something printed on it for example. But this girl was just pretty and looked very cute in her not particularly branded clothes. My head was just empty and I felt nervous. Doesn’t happen so often that a girl I know for 5 minutes starts flirting with eye contact with me… She even took out her Airpods and sat there doing nothing particularly, as if she was waiting for me to talk to her. Then I started to think if I was misinterpreting things… Then I felt dumb. I was think forth and back the whole train ride, while sometimes our eyes met again – followed by a smile.
Then she started talking to me suddenly. I was visibly wearing my company keykard on my belt. Where I was working, what I was doing, etc, she asked. Instantly, any form of insecurity vanished and I was able to talk. Even though I doubt that I was talking things of high value. But we talked!
Too bad the next train station was mine and staying in the train for her would have taken >1hrs more to get home. Sooo… I said I was sorry and had to go. I was thinking for a split second I could just ask her for her Number, but I was too much of a pussy. I could only tell her that I ride this train almost daily at this time – packed in a way that expressed I wanted to see her again without direcly saying it. Yeah… I don’t know if she reciprocates that. BUT she answered me that she rides this train at this time, too. Hmmm.
I feel dumb, and annoyed by myself. Also I feel like a coward because I made her talk to me, instead of making a move. Not because she is a woman, but because I do not want to be like that in general.
TL;DR: I met a lovely girl in my train, we had chemistry but I was not confident enough to talk to her. Then she had the balls to start talking to me, I think that was working well. And merely 3 minutes later my destination was there and I had to leave.
Comments
Reminder: the next time you see her, say Hi and definitely ask for her number if you get chance. Hope for the best!
She took off her AirPods for you. That’s like undressing in Gen Z language. Don’t beat yourself up , she opened the door, now all you need to do is walk through it. Next ride, bring two coffees and say, “Figured I’d return the favor after you caught my attention last time.”
For the next time: the perfect moment to initiate a conversation is after saving her phone.
Honestly the TIFU was getting off the train at your stop. Ride that shit to the end of the line and cab it back if you have to.
This is potentially gonna be a really cute story if you guys meet again, gotta update us OP if you see her another day
ok but the way she took her airpods out?? that girl was so waiting for you to say something. next time shoot your shot before the station does it for you lol
This is just Before Sunrise (1995)
you’ll find her again, sit in the same spot
You said “This is my stop, I’m sorry I have to go.”
Instead of “This is my stop. I’ve enjoyed talking to you. I hope to see you again.”
Her response determines if you leave or move next to her and miss your stop.
I would ask for something a little less personal to start. If you feel like she is receptive ask her for coffee or something else non committal to get a feel for the situation. If she says yes by the end of coffee you should be able to get her number. Some people get weird if you try to get too personal to quickly.
I met my future wife on a trolley, 26 years ago, in San Diego. Maybe meeting people on public transport happens more than I thought.
You’re not going to know what to do in every situation, and that’s OK! That said, it’s nice to have a way to politely and respectfully share your contact info. I promise you, whether its this girl or another, there will be another situation in your life where this comes up.
So play it out in your head a few times with what feels comfortable, what you could have done, and how you could approach it in the future. It doesn’t need to be complicated.
Something as simple as “I wish we had more time to chat, would you want to grab coffee sometime?” and if they say yes, offer your number to them so they can choose to text you or not.
Next time this happens you’ll feel a lot more confident on how to play it!
Love this, pls update
Oy should’ve just simply asked “so this train part of daily commute for you?”
Welcome to the club my guy, now you will remember this twice every 5 minutes for the rest of your life lol
No. Had you spoken earlier she’d have smelled your desperation and been cold. You forced her to be interested in you, which is a win. Anyway, she lives at least an hour away from you. Find someone closer to home.
Similar situation to me bro. I’m about to do my best to rectify that, I wish you the best soldier.