Trigger Warning: Physical Abuse
My N-Dad claims not to remember this incident. My mom witnessed all of it but is no longer alive. I will not allow N-Dad to gaslight me. I know this happened.
This happened when I was 14. I’m now 52.
My fellow high-schoolers were toilet-papering friends’ houses as a joke (small town). Many homes got hit. Then, someone did our house.
My dad is OCD about how the house and yard appears. He woke to find we’d been TP-ed and became enraged. Dragged me (still sleeping) by the ankles out of my bed. Accused me of doing something wrong to have deserved this. Ordered me outside in bare feet and pajamas to clean it up (it was November and cold in Wisconsin). I went out to clean up.
My mom eventually convinced him to let me at least put on shoes and a coat. I came in.
He kept yelling at me, blaming me. Told me if it ever happened again he’d be waiting with a shotgun to scare the shit out of any kids that came on our property. I was pissed and sassy, and said “oh, okay, Rambo.”
My dad came at me fast and furious, shoved me up against the door, put one hand around my neck, gripped hard and lifted me up off the ground. Choking me. My mom was screaming at him. After a few seconds he let go.
I told a couple of trusted friends. I begged them to spread the word that no one should TP our house ever again. Or they could be shot at. It never happened again.
I’ll never forget this. Even if N-Dad has. Thank you for seeing me.
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Of course it didn’t happen in their mind. They’re all angels that can do no wrong.
Always remember and do not ever forget.
I would not trust the word of someone capable of choking a child. It is very possible that he remembers and, like you said, is trying to gaslight you.
I’m sorry you were raised by such a monster. He sounds truly terrifying. The risk of getting murdered once you have been choked goes way up. I am glad you survived your childhood.
The concerning aspect is – what incidents DOES he remember? And I bet he wouldn’t share them with you. You’ve repressed the worst.
It did happen to you. They are living in a fantasy land, they just sweep everything under the carpet like it didn’t happen.
Eta: My mother still denies my twin brother choked me unconscious. She even denies it on her safeguarding form (that her conduct caused harm).
*strangled. What your dad did is called strangulation.
Sorry you went through this, speak to a therapist if you can as this is not ok.
I’m sorry that happened to you. My mom did it to me. That’s why I told my sister to let her know that if she planned to have me care for her when she got old, she should be prepared to be treated exactly the way that she treated me when I was growing up.
You know, being hit. Being strangled. Being emotionally abused. Being left in the care of predators.
I hope that scared my mom. My sister saw to my mother’s care (her choice). I did visit occasionally. Appearances and all that. But I didn’t lift a finger or contribute a penny.
Karma.