No, I don’t think it’s scary. I would suggest having a conversation with your son on some things that he can expect, body changes & how to maintain proper hygiene during this time. Make sure he knows he can come to you with any questions. Make sure he knows it’s a natural processes that everyone goes through and that there shouldn’t be any shame intertwined with it.
Mostly scared of the smell (I had an older brother). But taking the comments into account this was posted by someone going through it. So I’ll tell you what I told my kids.
It is terrifying. At least it was for me as a girl decades ago. Sure I had sex education so I knew what was going on, but it seemed like a switch had been flipped and all of a sudden I was becoming someone different overnight.
My emotions were like that movie scene where Dorothy entered into Oz, going from black and white into full technicolor. I felt everything MORE. Emotions could easily overwhelm me at first. I didn’t just get angry, I would get FURIOUS. Over tiny things. I didn’t just get happy, I would feel like I what I think being on meth or heroin must feel like – euphoric. Slowly I learned to feel my feelings, but that I didn’t have to act them out. I could be furious like a thunderstorm but if I lashed out, I would make things worse. And often those feelings would pass as quickly as a supercell.
As a mom, I remember my oldest telling me in the car one day “Mom, I feel mad but I don’t know why” and I remember the look of fear on their face and I knew it had really started for them. Our “scumbag brains” give us thoughts and emotions for no good reason sometimes – this is the time to start learning how to notice them, put ourselves in timeout if needed, and let them pass (if they’re negative).
On top of that, so many body changes. I adopted mine into my stride, but I can easily see how some people do not handle it as well. All the hair growing everywhere. Bathing and deodorant becoming necessary daily. Acne eruptions. So much more daily hygiene. Your voice changes. Your whole body changes dramatically, from height to muscle/fat distribution. I was told once by a friend that it felt like they were turning into the Hulk even though they didn’t want to be. Huge and angry. I remember girlfriends that HATED growing boobs. They wouldn’t admit to it to everyone because we’re all supposed to be excited about becoming adults, even on days we wish it would all go away.
Probably worse of all, is when expectations of you change too. People start expecting more adult things of you, even if you don’t feel like one yet. Every year of school gets more heaped on top of you. You have to act more like an adult. But you still can’t do some adult things you may want to do because you’re still a minor. It’s an awful Catch 22 you won’t fully escape until you leave the house. But then that means you’re on your own.
So yes, puberty is terrifying. I’m not scared OF my kids, I’m scared FOR my kids. Because I dimly remember how much it sucked. I hope you have someone you can vent to on the days when it sucks the most. You don’t have to love it everyday, but you have to learn how to come to grips with it on your own terms. Because like a lot of things from here on out, we’re not really given much of a choice.
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I think that question needs a lot more context.
No, I don’t think it’s scary. I would suggest having a conversation with your son on some things that he can expect, body changes & how to maintain proper hygiene during this time. Make sure he knows he can come to you with any questions. Make sure he knows it’s a natural processes that everyone goes through and that there shouldn’t be any shame intertwined with it.
No I mean I expect my kids to go through puberty
Scared? No. Concerned that body/mood changes would freak him out? Yes. Puberty sucks. Its unpredictable and can be unpleasant.
Why would I be scared of a natural process?
You really need to elaborate. As parents, we went through it ourselves.
Am I scared my son is hitting normal developmental milestones based on his age? No, I am glad that he is growing normally.
No it’s normal. His Dad talked to him about it. I talked to our daughter.
Mostly scared of the smell (I had an older brother). But taking the comments into account this was posted by someone going through it. So I’ll tell you what I told my kids.
It is terrifying. At least it was for me as a girl decades ago. Sure I had sex education so I knew what was going on, but it seemed like a switch had been flipped and all of a sudden I was becoming someone different overnight.
My emotions were like that movie scene where Dorothy entered into Oz, going from black and white into full technicolor. I felt everything MORE. Emotions could easily overwhelm me at first. I didn’t just get angry, I would get FURIOUS. Over tiny things. I didn’t just get happy, I would feel like I what I think being on meth or heroin must feel like – euphoric. Slowly I learned to feel my feelings, but that I didn’t have to act them out. I could be furious like a thunderstorm but if I lashed out, I would make things worse. And often those feelings would pass as quickly as a supercell.
As a mom, I remember my oldest telling me in the car one day “Mom, I feel mad but I don’t know why” and I remember the look of fear on their face and I knew it had really started for them. Our “scumbag brains” give us thoughts and emotions for no good reason sometimes – this is the time to start learning how to notice them, put ourselves in timeout if needed, and let them pass (if they’re negative).
On top of that, so many body changes. I adopted mine into my stride, but I can easily see how some people do not handle it as well. All the hair growing everywhere. Bathing and deodorant becoming necessary daily. Acne eruptions. So much more daily hygiene. Your voice changes. Your whole body changes dramatically, from height to muscle/fat distribution. I was told once by a friend that it felt like they were turning into the Hulk even though they didn’t want to be. Huge and angry. I remember girlfriends that HATED growing boobs. They wouldn’t admit to it to everyone because we’re all supposed to be excited about becoming adults, even on days we wish it would all go away.
Probably worse of all, is when expectations of you change too. People start expecting more adult things of you, even if you don’t feel like one yet. Every year of school gets more heaped on top of you. You have to act more like an adult. But you still can’t do some adult things you may want to do because you’re still a minor. It’s an awful Catch 22 you won’t fully escape until you leave the house. But then that means you’re on your own.
So yes, puberty is terrifying. I’m not scared OF my kids, I’m scared FOR my kids. Because I dimly remember how much it sucked. I hope you have someone you can vent to on the days when it sucks the most. You don’t have to love it everyday, but you have to learn how to come to grips with it on your own terms. Because like a lot of things from here on out, we’re not really given much of a choice.