How often does a new date want to have unprotected sex with you?

r/

I was on the dating apps years ago and I was shocked how often women just wanted to go raw and I was the one insisting on protection. “I’m on the pill”, “I have an implant”, “don’t worry about it”… probably 80% of the time. I was worried mostly because STDs, not so much about pregnancy. What’s your experience? Is it still the same out there?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of /u/VladTheBanned’s post (if available):

    I was on the dating apps years ago and I was shocked how often women just wanted to go raw and I was the one insisting on protection. “I’m on the pill”, “I have an implant”, “don’t worry about it”… probably 80% of the time. I was worried mostly because STDs, not so much about pregnancy. What’s your experience? Is it still the same out there?

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  2. Outis918 Avatar

    Very common and it shouldn’t be

  3. Spanksometer Avatar

    If she says you don’t need to wrap it up. You do in fact need to wrap it up. 

  4. Miserable-Breath5444 Avatar

    Its really up to you. If you prefer protection. You have a every right. If they don’t comply then that’s on them. You really have to analyze and self determine if you think its gonna be safe without protection. The feeling its self isn’t the same but safety right?

  5. GlenfromAccounting Avatar

    I’ve had a similar experience

  6. No-Crazy-510 Avatar

    This is anecdotal at best but from my own experiences and hearing friends stories, women from dating apps are horrible representatives of the gender

    Big, big number of them are just there to be stupid and bang idiots for whatever reason they chose. Loneliness, boredom, getting over another dude, I’ve heard it all

    I spent years on dating apps, and I got matches but it just never went anywhere, but pretty swiftly got a girlfriend outside of the apps. They’re very flawed, as are a big number of people using them

    If you went out and met some women in a more natural setting, assuming a respectable setting, I’d wager you’d be hard pressed to catch diseases as easily

  7. No_Nectarine6942 Avatar

    Probably wanting to get pregnant. 

  8. Slim_Grim13 Avatar

    IT’S A TRAP!

  9. CyanizzlusMagnus Avatar

    i have more girl friends than boy friends, and they are all on some kind of implant or hormonal contraception specifically so they can get blasted in, they are offended by the suggestion of condoms, they actively want to be blasted in.

  10. Relevant-Rooster-298 Avatar

    I don’t know if it was 80% of the time but it was a lot more often than I ever imagined. I am really lucky not to have caught anything.

  11. Budget_Position7888 Avatar

    As a woman (sorry this sub pops up for me a lot and I type out a whole response before realizing which sub I am in), I don’t care either way but I’m also not having sex with strangers usually so I tend to trust the other person. But I would never try to tell a man not to wrap it up if he was suggesting otherwise. Do what’s safe for you. You should never feel pressured to consent to something you are uncomfortable with. I think a lot of people just don’t like the latex smell (me), but that’s not a good reason to go unprotected if someone feels uncomfortable with it. Some people may think the condom makes sex feel not as good for either partner. A more sinister reason could be that she is lying and wants to get pregnant. As a woman, I apologize that women have tried to pressure you to go unprotected when you didn’t want to. That’s basically r*pe in my book if she is pressuring you against your consent.

  12. Radiant-Ordinary1390 Avatar

    Women that i dated im the past did want raw only woman I went raw with is my wife and did the not trying for a baby but if it happens it happens and a month later she was pregnant 

  13. Outrageous_Border_34 Avatar

    It’s about 50/50 in my experience. I’ve had a vasectomy at this point, get tested every 6 months and will always have a talk with my partner about testing and protection before sex. I’ve only had a small handful of women who whined and tried to manipulate me to have unprotected sex. It’s a hard no for me at that point.

  14. Icy_Inevitable714 Avatar

    I generally date liberal punk alt girls and as long as you have a recent std screening they will let you hit raw right away. I think they hate condoms more than men tbh

  15. abhoozer Avatar

    Guys even the people you trust sometimes don’t know they have something because someone they trusted lied to them. Please use protection.

  16. K2Nomad Avatar

    Roughly 1/10 give a shit about using condoms.

    You should still use condoms.

  17. GlossyGecko Avatar

    My girlfriend is a fiend for my raw dog.

    If I were single, I wouldn’t smash raw casually unless I could confirm they had been recently tested and that they were on the pill. They would have to show me the results and the empty pill pockets.

    Only been in a situation like that once before though, usually I just wrapped it, as much as it sucks and reduces the sensation.

    If I had to wrap it while in a committed relationship, I’d probably just jerk off instead. Less hassle.

  18. LongDickPeter Avatar

    At least it’s not just me, it’s scary how many women I meet who suggest going raw initially and then try to comfort you by telling you that everything is good with them and that they are on birth control. Yeah ok let me grab this gold wrapper over here.

  19. begme2again Avatar

    When they tell you you don’t need to the first thing you should think about is how many guys before you heard the same thing and didn’t wrap it? Then remember that one in six people in the United States is a herpes carrier

    Edit: to answer the question in my experience about 5 times more often now than they did 20 years ago. Back then most said optional and again were more concerned with birth control than disease protection I think

  20. nim_opet Avatar

    Every time. I’m on PrEP and sleep with men only

  21. Sparks3391 Avatar

    Doesn’t matter how often it’s a red flag either way

  22. serene_brutality Avatar

    Oddly more often than not they don’t insist on a condom. I’ve never had one try to not have me use one however.

    “I’m on the pill”

    “Well I’ve had the snip, but we’re still using one.”

    I’m not tryna get the drips or gussy up my unit with new textures.

  23. SirFritzalot Avatar

    Former nightclub bouncer here.

    You would be SHOCKED how many women these days do NOT care at all about their health. Not only just with me, but I had multiple girls that would come into the club with a new guy every weekend.

    One girl in particular, she was fine as hell so I did it like what the hell…and she came back 2 weeks later with another guy like it was nothing. It’s CRAZY out here.

  24. Busy_Donut6073 Avatar

    I’ve only had sex with three women, two were virgins and the other tested clean. I wouldn’t go raw on someone I didn’t trust was clean.

  25. Senior_Rabbit_8527 Avatar

    My current gf didn’t make me wear a condom the first time and she told me it was ok to cum in her. But we’re older and it wasn’t a ONS. She used rubbers with her recent flings and I had a vasectomy.

  26. FluffyTumbleweed6661 Avatar

    Dude I could’ve had unprotected sex with all but 1 women I’ve ever had sex with. Most are super chill about going raw. It blows my fucking mind, cuz I don’t want kids or STDs.

  27. ThicccBoiiiG Avatar

    I’d say out of like the past seventy odd Women I’ve slept with exactly two wanted me to wear a condom.

  28. Professional_Fee2979 Avatar

    99% of the time you’ll be fine. 1% you’ll get an STI or a child. I don’t like those odds.

  29. WillSmiff Avatar

    I’m a bit of a slut. I’m 42 and date within 32-45. Women try to use me for sex often, and far too many of them are willing to let me forget condoms. I’d even say most.

  30. laughingpinkhues Avatar

    Yikes..I’m a woman. I think this says a lot about the girl..and not good things. Personally, I made my boyfriend and now hubby get tested before we had sex for the first time. Even then we used a condom for a while to protect against pregnancy. After a while we ditched the condoms, but it took a minute to get to that point. Now we have a baby girl (and it was a planned pregnancy).

    On the other hand I have an old friend who would regularly let men have sec with her without condoms that she “trusted “…never ended up in a relationship with any of them and was also someone who just had way more casual sex than I would be comfortable with. Shes also had an unwanted pregnancy before and is constantly having issues with men.

  31. UrUnclesTrouserSnake Avatar

    Remember,

    If she tells a ya “don’t put a rubber on your cock”,

    tell her to go kick a rock.

    Sex with a condom is far less of the inconvenience of an STD, especially one you can’t get rid of.

  32. PwaWright Avatar

    Look at it this way: Women typically have more access to sex than men, unless you’re HIM.

    If they then engage in unprotected sex on the regular, you’ve got way higher risks of catching something.

    Anyone who insists on unprotected sex early on is basically a walking petri dish. I wouldnt even wrap it up, I’d skip out entirely.

  33. FocusOk6215 Avatar

    One girl kicked me out her apartment because I wouldn’t have unprotected sex with her 😕

  34. Proper-Tomorrow-4848 Avatar

    I know exactly what you mean I met a woman from a dating app from San Fran I live in Vegas. She flew down to see me stay at my house for a few days and we had unprotected sex the whole time. I guess they feel like they can trust you which is why they do it plus it feels a lot better and yes she was on birth control as well.

  35. Farting_Dreamer Avatar

    Girls have always been like that. All the girls I banged back in the 90s none of them even mentioned a condom and I was more than happy to oblige.

  36. JanitorOPplznerf Avatar

    Lol anyone who goes RAW outside of a committed and monogamous relationship deserves the chlamydia coming to them.

  37. Jedrarx Avatar

    My question to you is, what’s a date? 🤔

  38. abraxsis Avatar

    If you’ve just met someone and they fine with you nutting inside them (regardless of pill, IUD, etc) … that’s a whole red flag unto itself my dude.

  39. noremac2414 Avatar

    Turns out nobody likes condoms!

  40. Tishtoss Avatar

    To me that would be a huge red flag

  41. markbjones Avatar

    A surprising amount for me too. And exactly, they tell me they are on the pill as if that is what I’m worried about. Even straight up finishing inside without being on the pill, there is STILL a low chance for pregnancy. Couples try for months to get pregnant having sex every day without success. So yes, if they don’t require a condom then those are the girls you absolutely need a condom for

  42. MasterTeacher123 Avatar

    When I was single it was like 80% of the time. Now I wouldn’t indulge but it was there if I wanted it. 

    You would be surprised at how many girls will let you nut in them if they think you’re cute. 

  43. RoundTheBend6 Avatar

    I’ve even heard I got a hysterectomy so I can’t have std… doesn’t work that way…

  44. BigMasterDingDong Avatar

    Don’t be silly, cover your willy

  45. Unlucky-Pomegranate3 Avatar

    I think it’s something of an ego boost if they can rationalize their innate sexuality and hotness overwhelmed your inhibitions and compelled you to throw caution to the wind.

    For those with that mindset, wearing a condom is doubly important.

  46. radpandaparty Avatar

    Never and if they do that’s extra reason to wrap that shit up or just decline.

  47. SimplySeano Avatar

    Condom the first couple of times. Get screened in the meantime. That’s how it went for me. I didn’t want it otherwise. I’d rather be safe.

  48. pingpy Avatar

    Only ever had one girl ask me to put a condom on out of 10, and that was only for the first time we had sex

  49. ThePolymath1993 Avatar

    Is this some GenZ thing? I’m married but even before that I never had unprotected sex with anyone I wasn’t in an LTR with and no one even asked me to do that.

  50. Red_Danger33 Avatar

    Way less then I imagined based on the amount you hear about men always pressuring women for raw sex.

    Turns out sex without condoms feels better for everyone.

  51. Sovereign_Black Avatar

    I’ve never met a woman who insisted on protection. I’ve met exactly one who asked, and when I replied in the negative, got a, “that’s okay, just pull out”. That girl is actually the only one I used an app to meet. Every other woman I’ve slept with I’ve either met in person, or, and I’m dating myself here, we met up after chatting on MySpace for a bit.

    The insistence on protection is definitely way more popular online than in person. A lot of women are on birth control. Others straight up have a creampie fetish, as many men also do. Porn may have something to do with the latter, especially for the younger generation, but then again I could believe we’re inherently wired to enjoy it seeing as it’s how procreation happens.

    My body count isn’t astronomical, but it is double digits. I have a higher count than what most men, or women for that matter, report on surveys, so I’m not speaking from a place of no experience here.

  52. liquor_up Avatar

    I had one tell me her tubes were tied and I could just blow it on her. No maam, I just met you.

  53. Brainscroll Avatar

    I’ve never once had a woman care about protection

  54. ChronicallyPO Avatar

    Any guy who chooses not to take any personal responsibility for protection is essentially giving consent to pregnancy or an STD.

    Not only is it extremely foolish to not protect oneself from STD’s, it is extremely foolish to take someone’s word for it that they are using birth control.

  55. EnoughContract4021 Avatar

    This is today’s hookup culture. Raw dogging it is fun, but you are playing with fire!

    I’ve been snipped so getting someone preggo is a non concern for me. However STDs are. Tests are cheap and most insurance will cover some or all of it. If someone refuses to get tested, there is probably a reason why.

    Hold your boundaries. 

  56. RipAgile1088 Avatar

    When I used tinder and the other apps, there were more that tried to go unprotected than not. Even if they had a latex allergy,  I would grab non latex condoms.  Would get the “dont worry, im on BC”.

    Idc what anyone says. Any person that thinks its ok to go sleep around without protection is a red flag.

  57. elciddog84 Avatar

    Last woman I slept with before meeting my wife was in 1985. She was 32. Me 25. I was about to put on a condom and she asked if I was clean. I said yes, then asked “no more babies?” “That’s why I had ’em tied after my second. I need to feel you cum in me.” Like flipping a switch in my animal brain. I was so stupid in lust… and lucky. Raw… all weekend. I guess she was telling the truth or timing was right, but she came as soon as I did every time. Couldn’t imaging doing that now, even if I hadn’t been married almost 39 years, but something tells me if I wasn’t married and a woman growled it in my ear right now… Still stupid.

  58. Unhappy_Meaning607 Avatar

    Great in the moment, kind of bad immediately after followed by dreading the two possible worst outcomes for some time.

  59. Starcraft_III Avatar

    There are people that want to have sex with you?

  60. bernie_lost_lolowned Avatar

    When I was dating, the amount of women I ran through raw (and they had no issues with it) was like 99% of them.

  61. paperhammers Avatar

    In the last like 10 hookups I’ve had, all of them had not asked/told me to use a condom, explicitly said they were fixed/on bc, or kept saying how much better it’d feel without a condom. I’ve never had a pregnancy scare but I’ve caught Chlamydia before so it’s important to wear a condom/use protection until you’ve both been tested and are actively trying to get pregnant

  62. nridez Avatar

    From my personal experience I can say I’ve come across a decent number of women that didn’t care or straight yo didn’t want me to use a condom, all of this outside dating app, wich I rarely use. So yeah, it’s safe to say it’s not a uncommon thing

  63. Constant-Kick6183 Avatar

    Almost 100% of the time. I’ve had exactly 1 woman insist we use a condom. And that went away after a few dates. The type of women I date are generally all on birth control. One wasn’t but she just told me that and said be careful.

  64. Walkgreen1day Avatar

    You are not special. If she’s rawing with you, on first few meetings, then she’s doing it with other guys before or during the same time period that she’s with you. I’ve seen way too many dudes collecting wild things from random hookups that then later come around questioning “how could they got the X” later when symptoms started appearing.

  65. CrustyPotatoPeel Avatar

    Not often. Girls usually ask if I have a condom. Wouldnt do it even if the girl did. Not about to take a chance getting a random girl preggo.

  66. Crispycloudskyes Avatar

    bro, its crazy because its to early to ask about your sex health, and i still aint diving in unsecured

  67. noir_lord Avatar

    Before I was married and still in the dating pool way too fucking often tbh

    “I’m on the pill” cool, a) that doesn’t prevent STDs b) not betting you 18 years of payments and a life time commitment.

  68. xeyed4good Avatar

    One person said to me have sex unprotected and you essentially have sex with everyone she’s been with. That could be a large factorial today.

  69. Dantai Avatar

    Yo, so gf and I use condoms for the entire duration of relationship. Basically all birth control methods, pills, etc bother her badly. Surprised to read how common raw dogging is. I thought the pill and the other hormonal stuff is really bad for chicks now

  70. Bodysnatcher Avatar

    Last woman I suggest a condom to got so offended lol.

  71. b0ltaction Avatar

    You know, the first time my wife and I “got together” I used a condom.

    Well she referred to it as “shrink-wrapping”

    But, I got over it.

  72. i_mann Avatar

    Unless she’s a virgin, you’re not her only partner.

    What she’s saying to you, she’s saying to them.

    Do what you think is best, but that’s over my risk tolerance lol.

  73. momomotorboat Avatar

    Often, actually. Strange to think about.

  74. TheGreatPina Avatar

    Literally never and I would immediately leave and never contact again if such desire was spoken.

  75. johnqpublic81 Avatar

    I haven’t had a woman even suggest that I needed a condom since college. Most people aren’t going to sleep with someone that they suspect has an STD. So if their only concern is birth control and they are on some other form of birth control, they will not view it as necessary. Not saying it makes it right or justifies it, it’s just the mind set. I’m in my 40’s and women just don’t worry about it at my age.

  76. Bshellsy Avatar

    I’ve never been on the apps but irl ladies also very quickly graduate to CUM IN MEEE

  77. FrancisGalloway Avatar

    I have been on probably 15-20 first dates in the past year. Not one has ended in sex. Half of that was rejections, half of that was I wasn’t into her and didn’t pursue it.

  78. OkQuantity4011 Avatar

    Basically the guy’s job to enforce protection. So, enforce protection, and if she cries about it that’s a her problem.

    This is one of those things where it’s important to remember just how many neural receptors women have down there that we don’t.

    I think we do have a certain level of responsibility about it because of that.

  79. JJdynamite1166 Avatar

    Plenty but that’s just how my generation did it. Not many people used condoms back in the 80’s
    And no one thought anything about it.

  80. ArandomDane Avatar

    I have had this a number of times, but under 10% of the women i have gotten to point of discussing location with. For me it is either yellow or red flag…. So more talking! Weee

    Being willing to risk it, because they think all men want to raw dog, so being willing makes them more appealing is a yellow flag to me.

    Then there is the abba’s, those that makes sure “all she wants is another baby” is not just a classic but a warning. Huge red flag. I shoot blanks and it is stile a NOOO.

  81. IllustriousChance710 Avatar

    Ive noticed a mix, some wanting protection, others not, it depends on the person, not a hard and fast rule.

  82. Dry_Atmosphere7602 Avatar

    It’s been the same experience for me as well. I even had one ask me to go raw and swear she knew her cycle and that she wouldn’t be ovulating for another 2 weeks. This was one I’d seen a few times already but stood firm on staying protected. I remember, she got up to use the restroom, it was dark, her phone lit up on my nightstand next to my phone (we had the same model and color). I thought it was my phone so when I picked it up, it showed she had the flo app open (this app tracks their periods) it clearly said that she was in her best timeframe to get pregnant. When she came out of the restroom, I didn’t even say anything; however, it made me see her completely different and showed me just how low some will stoop to trap you.

  83. Sir_Meowsalot Avatar

    You can get the worst kind of STD that makes you spend your money on it for the next 18 years. So yeah, wrap that dick.

  84. three_mlord Avatar

    I wonder if the porn industry has influenced women to raw dog; because I, honestly, watch porn and cringe when I see a beige condom.

    I, personally, don’t get offended when a guy asks about condoms but it’s a big enough turn off for me that I’ll suggest no condom or no sex… most guys opt for the former. There’s something unnatural about using condoms that doesn’t appeal to me at all. First, it’s the smell, texture and appearance blehhhhh. Secondly, it obviously reduces sensations. Lastly, it creates a physical barrier between an intimate exchange of skin-on-skin contact and hormones—scientifically there’s a lot going on.

    I’d rather not have sex than use a condom, which is no problem since I can remain sanely abstinent for up to a year. Also, if I only wanted penetration, darling, I have toys 🧸

    Edit: Not on birth control and am honestly proud of it, so I’m very upfront about that—with everyone. I know my cycle pretty well but honestly don’t overly rely on my schedule because it can be unreliable enough to get ya pregnant… I have never been pregnant. If I’m sexually active, I test quarterly or monthly. If I’m not, I’ll get tested after a new partner, and I typically average 1-2 new partners a year. I’m mostly into raw dogging but I’ll indulge in a good creampie 1-3 times a year—I have emergency contraceptives on-hand.

    all that being said, some girls just like pie and they’re not trying to have your baby. maybe our culture is shifting since women, generally, have access to women healthcare and feminine education. If I didn’t take all my preventative measures—besides using a condom—I’d definitely be with child at this point.

  85. Drewpy_Drew_1989 Avatar

    So are people not scared of HIV anymore?

  86. Whole-Newspaper-4343 Avatar

    Believe it or not some women out there want a baby and not necessarily a mate. PLEASE protect yourselves from becoming a father with some random woman. The consequences are huge.