How can i break up with my gf of 8 years with being mindful of her?
I will give you a bit of backstory, so we’ve been long in the relationship and everything for most part was going good. Ofcourse we had some fights, problems, etc… but nothing huge besides her lack of showing her love to me, be it physical, with words, gifts, acts of service, etc… Over the years I’ve tried to talk about it because it always reaches a point where i fell so down so low that i genuinely i’m not sure why i’m here with her, but always when i tried to start conversation she would just break down and started crying asking me how i could think that way and i just can’t stand her being so sad and that showed me that she cared but that would last for a year or 2 and i would start up the converstion again. But last 6 months we have been living together and the feeling just became a lot more intense and i feel like i’m disconnecting from her big time. In the last few weeks i’ve been a bit more drawn in and she became closer she always does this in this situation, but im not a person like that I don’t wanna pretend or something like that.
As for our life we both work normal jobs, our parents are pretty good with each other, our daily life is good, our relationship is good (besides this huge part).
I’ve made up my mind that this is it, and i just want to somehow be more mindful of her. Because it has been hard and I still care for her and love her, but i need to move from her for my own sake.
Thanks people, hopefully somehow has some advice, if there would be some questions be sure to ask and all advice is welcome. Also please no bashing to her would appreacite it.
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Sit her down and say ‘I want to break up’. Then – here’s the hard part – do it.
After being 8 years together, you won’t be able to get this over with in a smooth way without her breaking down and being hurt.
Always keep in mind, this is better for you and her in the long run.
I don’t there is a mindful way of breaking up with this person, but there are two things you can do;
Source; my long term GF dumped me and the above are what I did/was done to me
Be clear, unambiguous, polite but firm.
Keep your reasons simple.
Let her know what happens next (you moving out).
Afterwards be consistent with your contact.
The best thing to do is do it close to when the lease is up. If you can’t wait that long then put in the required notice. Find you a place and get that paperwork done.
If you want to talk to her you could do it at a time when there’s nothing emotional going on. When you have tried to talk to her in the past she’s cried and you can’t get through it so it may be best to write a letter. You have to be direct but gentle .
You can tell her I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I love you and I care about you deeply, and that’s why this is so difficult,but I need to be honest with both of us. I don’t feel fulfilled in this relationship anymore, and I’ve reached a place where I know I need to step away for my own well-being. This isn’t about blame or one specific thing,it’s about a pattern over time where I haven’t felt emotionally connected or loved in the ways I need. I know you’ve tried, and I’ve tried too. But I’ve realized that staying any longer would mean pretending, and that’s not fair to either of us.
You have to include in the letter whether you will be moving out or she will need to move out. Whomever is leaving needs to be leaving quickly. You don’t want to end up having to deal with that roller coaster of emotions from breaking up with someone and having to live there even for a few weeks. It can get scary , Trust me I know. You staying after telling them you want to end things will make them trick themselves into trying to win you back or they will realize it’s over and it can get ugly. Also do not sleep with her again. This is how people end up having an ex calling them 6 months later saying they are knocked up. If you want to break up don’t touch her.