I’ve been thinking about all the stuff I wish I knew when I was younger about dating and relationships. If you could go back and tell your younger self one piece of advice about that stuff, what would it be and why?
I’m interested in hearing all kinds of takes — whether it’s about confidence, handling rejection, or just things that really changed the game for you.
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I’ve been thinking about all the stuff I wish I knew when I was younger about dating and relationships. If you could go back and tell your younger self one piece of advice about that stuff, what would it be and why?
I’m interested in hearing all kinds of takes — whether it’s about confidence, handling rejection, or just things that really changed the game for you.
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Every woman has a different way/standard for showing interest or flirting. If you try to apply the same standard to every woman, you’re gonna have a bad time.
Don’t settle because you don’t think you can do better. Aim for what will make you happy, not what will make you feel a little less lonely.
Don’t marry the only redhead you will ever date.
“Dating safety is important for the guys too, take it incredibly seriously and learn to evaluate red flags the moment you see them instead of ignoring them thinking it’s ok.”
Start talking to girls and trying to date while you’re still in middle/high school. You need that time to get all your fucking-up out of the way and develop better social skills, and once you graduate, you never have to see any of those people again. Even the ones you do want to see again may be hard to stay in touch with!
I would tell my younger self to pick the guy I like based upon our connection. Do not let your friends sway or influence you.
avoid, learning work stuff, better life
Rejection, especially early rejection, is your best friend. As you get older, you’d rather get “rejected” on the first date than on the 7th over something you could have figured out sooner.
Really know what role you want the woman to have in your life (if this was a job, what would be her duties?)
They have to bring much more to your life than “love”. They ideally make your life easier too in practical ways.
Early rejection = incompatibility that has nothing to do with you = money, time, energy savings.
They are not getting more attractive with time, you are.
Women don’t get to decide your worth. They aren’t coming to save you from your misery, nor do they want that responsibility.
You have to bring more to the table than “being yourself”.
You can’t generate strong attraction without being willing to generate strong rejection.
Don’t be more invested in them than they are invested in you.
The less you care about approval, the more attractive you become.
Your purpose always comes first.
Don’t start dating if you still haven’t sorted out your emotional issues or traumas.
Otherwise you’re going to sabotage all your relationships.
If I don’t like me, why would she?
Contrary to what your southern religious upbringing would have you believe, women aren’t in it for different reasons and you really can just put yourself in their shoes.
Would you be flattered if one of them asked you out? Of course. Would you be offended if one of them fantasized about you in their head? Of course not.
If you’re interested, ask them out confidently and politely. Don’t spend years trying to look for clues that they like you. Just be presentable, likeable, and respectful and ask them out.
I’d ask ‘What’s the difference between sex for free, and sex that you pay for?
Sex that you pay for is cheaper.’
Make better choices…and don’t get healthy relationships and boring relationships confused.
It’s ok to have sex. No you don’t have to be in a relationship. No you don’t have to be “in love”. No you’re not a slut.
Yes, you always need protection:)
Don’t let other people define what is acceptable. And if Andy invites you over, don’t find an excuse not to go just because you don’t want people to think you’re gay or bi or who knows what. You might be, and it’s better to find out now!
Don’t get too much attached and you can’t fix everyone.
Learn how to accept that no woman will ever see you in a romantic way.
Never settle. You’re amazing and expect amazing as the bare minimum.
I heard this advice from an older woman: don’t let your boyfriend keep you from your husband. In other words, if you are not married, you are single.
Although I have been happily married for 25 years and grateful for my past, because it led me to my husband, I can’t help but wonder how different my life might have been if I had known the above earlier.
I turned down some great guys in the past because I was already in a relationship, only to later break up.
If you think a woman might be into you … ask. Don’t let self doubt deter you.
Take your time. Build yourself first.
Learn social dancing sooner. Salsa, swing, tango, cha cha, waltz — it’s all gold for learning to deal with women.
Get money instead
Run. It’ll make your eyes sparkle, tone you up, give you endurance and staying power, help fight illness, make your skin glow. It’s the best thing you can do for your body and physical attractiveness. Get to the point you can run 10k relatively easily. As you are young you’ll get there quite quickly.
This will make attraction, women to you, way better. It’s amazing the change it will make.
It’ll also set up a habit which will sail through life with you and statistically make it way, way more likely you enjoy a healthy old age.
Run.