There’s some little things happening in our relationship which are upsetting me and making me re think my relationship. Some examples are I’ll prepare dinner for him when he’s out for the evening playing sport – get it all ready etc and he’ll give a ‘cool thanks’ in text. That’s all. He was sick for two weeks and I cooked, cleaned and did his washing. This was during my exams so I was working 4 days a week and studying so I didn’t have all the time in the world. I got a thanks once. I got a script for him (paid, doctor etc) for a nasty rash he had on his behalf to which he said ‘I didn’t ask for that’ when I prompted him for a thankyou.
He didn’t once wish me luck in my exams (I’m a law student). He never even asks about my studies actually.
There’s probably more but this was the last two weeks. I feel like I do have high standards but I also think please and thankyous should come naturally?
He’s actually great in other aspects and we get along really well but I sometimes reflect on past relationships and the treatment I got and wonder if it’s lacking here.
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Doesn’t sound like high standards, just perfectly normal expectations which he fails to meet because he takes you for granted.
Kick his ungrateful ass to the curb
These standards are not high or demanding. Saying thank you is basic decency whether the actions are small or big. His lack of interest in you, your life, your studies is very telling if how he thinks of you.
How is saying thank you a high standard? It burns no calories, takes less than half a second and is basic manners expected of even STRANGERS when you hold the door for them. He’s your PARTNER and you spent hours of your own time and energy doing things for him and saying thank you is too hard for him? Yeah he sucks. He spent more energy being a dick than he would have expressing gratitude for your love and sacrifice
You can do way better.
Your standards are NOT too high he doesn’t seem to care for you like you care for him he thinks you’re just gonna be there for him he doesn’t understand he’s taking you for granted leave bc it’s not gonna change
He’s taking you for granted, stop doing stuff and when he wants to know why tell him ‘you didn’t ask me to’
I don’t see any issues from wanting a little give on your side. Him on the other hand sounds like he is just coasting.
As we all know a relationships is a give and take but not obligation type. You should want to say thank you for all the effort.
When it comes to sickness i prefer to deal with it on my own including washing and food. Especially if someone is busy or studying. I’m not saying i wouldn’t appreciate being taken care of, that is always nice. Just some foresight that you can handle your own stuff even when sick.
You should communicate with him openly and honestly. Let him know that this is one of your needs and you’d like him to put more effort into meeting said need.
Sometimes we get wrapped up in our messes and tunnel vision overtakes our lives and it’s easy to appear ungrateful to others. A mindfulness practice can be helpful to individuals like this.
Making a relationship work isn’t easy, but as long as you’re able to communicate effectively then most things should be able to worked through by caring and conscientious adults.