We met about 7 years ago, and became very close friends soon after. I developed a crush on her too, but didn’t act because I never knew how to tell if girls were into me. At the time, it was just a close friendship. I helped her through a breakup, she helped me through a breakup. Life went on.
We saw a couple movies in theaters together in 2019, didn’t lead to anything. I thought we might’ve gotten together in 2020 after she invited me twice to game nights (just us two) at her house, after which I decided she wasn’t into me, and that it would be healthy to – amicably – get her out of my life. We slowly stopped hanging out nearly as much as before.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her, so I decided to unfollow her and remove her as a follower everywhere in 2022. It worked for my. But 5ish months passed and she re-followed me everywhere. I was conflicted, but missed her so I followed her back. We talked a few times over text over the following year, just casually. In 2024, I went to a concert she hosted at her place. During one of her songs, we locked eyes for 20-30 seconds straight while she sang, and I was overwhelmed – I tunnel-visioned, forgot what song she was singing, and felt stuck in my seat when it ended. I questioned whether it was even real, but now I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just in my head. We talked in a group after, but it was a bit awkward and short. We hadn’t even texted since –
Now, she knows I work and work out at our local climbing gym, which she came to last week with another old mutual friend. We hung out and talked for a bit, and she got a membership there the same day. I’ve seen her there twice since, and we’ve climbed together both times.
Finally: I don’t know if people use music intentionally on posts/stories, but I have noticed the last few stories she’s posted have songs: Carnival by The Cardigans, Look for Me (I’ll be Around), and The Man I Love – (specifically, “One day he’ll come along, the man I love, and he’ll be big and strong, the man I love.”) I mention because they just seem very lovey-dovey to me and I know she’s single at the moment.
TL;DR – We’ve been apart for a long time, but our most recent interactions make me wonder whether she’s attracted to me. Suddenly, she’s very much back in my life.
How am I supposed to know if any of this is intentional and she’s trying to get something started, or if I’m overthinking all of it? Moving forward, is there a way I should act to try and better figure it out?
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You’re not imagining the emotional pull there’s real history and possibly renewed interest. But clarity won’t come from decoding her hints or song lyrics. It comes from direct, emotionally honest communication.
Try to tell her calmly, without pressure how u feel and ask her if she feels the same way, if she doesnt thats okay, youll be clear with your emotions, not confused
Use your words. With her.
“Hey, I know I can be a little oblivious sometimes, so I just want to say … there’s absolutely no pressure here, and no wrong answer at all. Lately, I’ve been picking up on a few things that made me wonder if maybe you’re feeling something more than just friendship. I could be totally off, and that’s okay. I just wanted to check in and ask honestly.”
I hear how exciting yet nerve-wracking it is when someone you’ve cared about suddenly re-enters your life with what feel like subtle signals. It’s easy to overthink song choices and lingering eye contact, but the clearest way to know her intentions is to create a low-pressure moment just for the two of you – ask if she’d like to grab coffee after a climb or catch a favorite band’s live stream together.
That invitation gives her space to show genuine enthusiasm (or not), and you’ll get real feedback instead of guessing.