This happened many years ago, but I will never forget and never forgive. I was 24, newly married, and working as a teacher. My husband, a Merchant Marine, had just shipped out less than a week earlier from Texas on an oil tanker headed to New York.
While I was grading papers after dinner, the tv news started flashing that an unidentified oil tanker was on fire and in danger of sinking off the coast of the Carolinas. My heart pounded, it could be his ship. I called his company, but they said they had to follow protocol before releasing any information. I called a friend, the wife of someone shipping with him, no news there either.
Then the phone rang, but it was not the call I needed. It was my MIL.
She asked if I had heard the news. I told her yes, and that I was trying to confirm if it was his ship. I told her I was worried because the timing matched his ship’s and his company gave me no information yet. I told her I would let her know as soon as I learned anything.
Her response?
In the coldest, most matter-of-fact tone, she said, “Oh. Well, if something happens, who’s going to pay for the funeral now that you’re married?
I was stunned. No concern for her son. No comfort for me. Just a completely emotionless comment about money. It took a few moments of silence for her question to sink in. Without a word, I quietly hung up the phone and then swore like a sailor. Those were the moments when I knew exactly what kind of person she was.
After hours of anxiety and not so silent fury, I finally heard from my friend, it wasn’t my husband’s ship. He was safe.
I never called MIL back. I let her wait. I let her find out about her son the next morning from the news like the rest of the country.
From that day on, I was nothing but civil and distant with her. I never let her get close again. She meant nothing to me, and I had a much better life for it.
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That is the coldest thing I have heard in a while. What a bitch.
I know death makes people react strangely but wtf?
why do either you or husband need MIL in your lives. You both know what she is like. Lies to get you to buy something you did not agree to. listen to private conversations. The funeral statement alone is worth NC.
MIL only cares about what you and husband can do for her and wants your money. drop her.
when my spouse had a heart attack, I called his mother to let her know. Her response, “does he have a will”?…………..I didn’t tell him for a long time because I didn’t want to hurt him. But I eventually told him, but he didnt say anything. I don’t think he was surprised.
Errr. MIL left a message on our answering machine when his grandmother died. The woman who gave her birth & then lived next to them in a small town for years. Came home to find husband listening to the message in tears. That was a very hard one for me. Who does that??? Asked her later & she said she was BUSY. And did not have time to call us back when she knew we would be home after work.
She told me who she was – heartless b***h.
You handled that perfectly. There’s absolutely nothing to say to such a horrid, callous, statement. Glad your husband is OK that was probably terrifying
I’d have never spoken to that bitch again.
My older brother sent me a text stating our mother died with the time. She had died 4 hours earlier. I was the last person to find out. All extended family members and her friends were notified before me.
I immediately called him back. After saying he should have called me instead of a text message, he said he thought I wouldn’t answer my phone. He never has called me previously.
For context, I live 6k+ miles from where my family lives, and moved away after graduating college some 40 years ago. For numerous reasons I am low contact with my 5 older brothers.
I was unable to make the trip home to my mom’s funeral. A hurricane closed down the airport and the funeral had been scheduled two days after she died. My brothers thought I would be able to fly the 6k+ miles because I have money and can afford to pay the higher ticket fees.
This might belong in r/pettyrevenge -making her wait till morning was the exact right thing to do.
Can’t I type that she was a cunt in this subreddit, I guess I just did.
I found out about my maternal grandmother’s passing with a Google search. Turns out my NMom had kicked up a huge family feud as grandma’s health was failing, & got herself disinherited, so she refused to deal with anyone who wasn’t taking her side.
In fairness too her, SA during her childhood was brought up, so she did have a legitimate complaint.
My mom got married at 19. Her husband died so suddenly after the wedding that he hadn’t even changed the beneficiary on his life insurance, so the payout went to his parents. My widowed teenage mother’s MIL demanded my mom pay for the funeral. Her MIL wanted him to be buried in their family plot, but of course, she wasn’t gonna pay for the plot. My mom bought the plot where she wanted her husband buried, which happened to be far away from the family plot.
That’s a disgusting and vile human.
Ooof. My heart dropped just reading about a ship on fire and your husband being out there. I live the life, too. Any sort of ship mishap, especially where my husband’s ship may be has me in a bundle of tears and anxiety.
I’d never have spoken to that twatwaffle and poor excuse of a mother-in-law ever again.